The Blog of the Bubs

Bowling Bubs

2011-01-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

So if you want pictures of my kids, they are being hosted at this site.

I decided I'd update my blog once a week, so that I can have something else to feel guilty about when I don't get it done.

We do sticker charts with our kids. When Link was 3, almost 4, he was having a hard time not wetting the bed. I started a chart with him that he gets a sticker for every day that he's dry. After enough stickers, he gets to go do an activity of his choosing. Most are small things, like make cookies or fudge or cupcakes or rice krispy treats, or go ice skating (which is free for us), or go to Winco and kind of wander around a little... Other prizes are big, like go bowling, or swimming, or to Sweet Tomatoes etc.

It worked for Lincoln like magic. About that same time, barely 2 year old Ella was not staying in her bed. We thought she was too little, but made her a sticker chart too, and, to our surprise, it worked.

Ellie earned one of her prizes a couple of weeks ago, and today she cashed it in. We went to Fat Katz to go bowling. The following is a list of things that annoyed me whilst bowling.

9. Lincoln got momentarily "lost".
8. The "slushee*" was just pure liquid.
7. The bowling shoes hurt my blister, like, way bad.
6. I had to go on a hike to find one of those ramps so my kids could just roll the ball off it, and down the lane.
5. I started out with a strike and two spares, and was only able to score 123
4. Ellie spilled her "slushie*".
3. It was going to take the concession stand 20 minutes to get us some nachos.
2. The people two lanes down swiped our ramp while we were at the concession stand.
1. The guy next to me kept using my ball, and had the nerve to use it while I was awaiting my second roll.

(It sure has been a while since I did a list. Not quite up to the same standards as this bad boy.

Despite all the annoyances, the kids really enjoyed themselves, and Lincoln bowled exactly 100. He was very excited about that... I mean VERY. He'd rather score exactly 100 in bowling then, say, 260.

As we were walking back to our car, Lincoln got kind of close to another family. The agitated father said to his sobbing daughter "What are you crying about now?" Lincoln responds: "Because I'm so starving." He wasn't even crying. I was laughing way hard, agitated dad was not amused. His super power must be to not have a sense of humor, because it was pretty funny.

*Yes, I'm aware I spelled it differently, That is because I don't know how it's spelt.

Lost

2010-11-28T17:11:00.000-07:00

Bad things come in threes, or so I've heard.

8 days ago, Ella had a dance recital at one of the local malls. She's been in a little neighborhood dance class for the past couple of months. She has had such a good time. Early indications are that she's going to be a little dancer. They even did a bake sale to earn money for their costumes and earned down to the exact penny the amount they needed.

Her recital lasted a couple of minutes is all, and afterward, the parents were kind of hanging out just talking. For some reason, both Ange and I believed that Ellie was with grandma (Ange's Mom). That was not the case. I looked over and saw grandma sans Ellie. I spent the next 10 seconds looking for her... no dice. I tried to get grandma's attention for the next 10 or so seconds... strike two. I gave up, and tried to get Ange's attention.

"Where's Ella?"

"With grandma."

"No, she isn't."

With that, real panic set in. I did a quick circuit of the central court. No Ella. Ange had headed straight to the parking lot to see if she could catch a glimpse of a potential kidnapper.

By then, I had returned to the stage when I caught wind that someone had seen a child, "dressed like those other children" all the way down the mall.

I ran, heard Lincoln trying to catch up, waited for him, then ran with him to find Ella near the entrance to Macy's, some 300 yards from where we were. I was so relieved. So was Ange. Ella didn't seem to care.

The next day, I caught wind that Matt was lost in Central Utah. He details his experience in his latest post here. My sister's point of view here.

Thanksgiving could have been a lot worse. Luckily, we got to spend it with our Ella, and Matt.

So the question is, what is the third bad thing that's going to happen? We thought it might be that Ange lost about $80, but she found it, and it was only like $55.

I hope that third bad thing comes quickly, the suspense is killing me.

Because bad things come in threes.

Stats and Projections

2010-06-17T15:06:00.000-06:00

We went to the doctor's office for Abby's 2 week checkup, and Ellie's 3 year checkup. I thought I should post their stats, and my prediction for height at weight for each child when they are 18 (21 for Lincoln).

Lincoln:

Currently at 90th percentile for height and about 50th for weight.
Projection: 6' 1", 180 pounds.

I had to revise the weight down from last year. As a three year old last year, he was 42 inches tall, which meant he could ride The Bat a.k.a. Mike Tyson's Punch Out at Lagoon. He weighed in at 40 pounds. He is now 45 inches tall, and weighs 41 pounds. Seems like three inches should be worth more than a pound.

Ella:

Currently: weighs 28 pounds (22nd percentile) and is 37.5 inches tall (62nd percentile)
Projection: 5' 7" 120 pounds

Of course, I'll just be happy if we can get her to stop screaming at the top of her lungs at Lincoln.

Abigail:

Currently: weighs 10.3 pounds (95th percentile) and is 22.5 inches long (98th percentile)
Projection: 5' 11", 160 pounds

Obviously things can change, but she seems to be a large child, and she is wearing Ange out with how much she wants to eat. Hopefully she'll end up being a little smaller. Ange's sister, Natalie is tall, and as you can see, it scarred her for life.

Feel free to make projections. The winner gets a king size Snickers, but we won't know until May 29, 2028.

Link the Artist

2010-04-16T00:07:00.000-06:00

So last Sunday, after church, I went to pick up my kids. Lincoln bolted out of the primary room like it was on fire. I've heard boys described as "all afterburner and no rudder". That pretty much sums up Lincoln after 3 hours of sitting quietly in church.

He was even more excited than usual because of this drawing he had worked on. His description is below:

"I'm riding on Mommy's shoulders, and mommy has a baby inside her kicking her tummy so hard. Ellie is riding on Daddy's shoulders and Ellie only has one eye."

Unfortunately, he didn't explain what the green blob was to the right of Mommy. I asked, but didn't get a coherent response. I have my own ideas as to what that is.

I also think it's funny that Lincoln has to write "Link" on every single piece of paper he ever sees.

Pirates

2010-03-05T13:57:00.002-07:00

This is how I imagine Mike Smith and Preston spending time together in a few years. Unfortunately, I don't think Preston's going to have a little sister anytime soon. I'm sure most have seen this ad, but I think it's funny.

Not Obese

2010-02-03T10:55:00.002-07:00

...Just overweight. That's what the new BMI numbers say for me. Whew, I was getting worried there for a minute.

I don't like BMI very much because it doesn't account for someone who is big boned. You can tell if you're big boned if your fingers don't touch when you wrap them around your wrist. Mine don't, meaning I'm big boned or have short fingers.

Anyway, if you account for me being big boned, I think my real obese number is 233 lbs. I'm at 212 now. To get to normal, I have to get down to 176 lbs. That is one of my New Year's Resolutions, so we know it won't happen. If you adjust for me being big boned, I only have to get to 193. If you want to calculate your own BMI, take your weight in kilograms, and divide it by your height in meters squared. Or just use this calculator. 30 or above is obese, 25 to 29.9 is overweight, 18.5 to 24.9 is normal, and below 18.5 is underweight.

In other news, my talk on Family History went quite well. The only person in the congregation that fell asleep was Lincoln. Plus I got to tell a lame joke I've been holding on to for more than 20 years.

Internet Bored

2010-01-30T15:09:00.002-07:00

I suppose I'm trying to prove that last time's update of my blog wasn't a once in a 7 month experience.

I ran across an article on Yahoo! that frustrated me. But before I get to that, I think it's funny that every time the Internet is in front of my face, I do the same thing.

First, I hit the political sites:
Independent Elephant
Red State
CNN
Fox News

Then, I go to Yahoo and scroll through the various stories they have highlighted.

Then I browse the sports blogs:
Cougar Tracks on KSL.com
ESPN.com
Rivals.com

Finally, I'm ready to get to the business at hand, and if I didn't have any business, then I don't know what to do which means I usually leave the computer.

At night, when I'm putting Ellie and Lincoln to bed, it's the same deal, except I use my iPod to browse through the following sites:
Letters from Harriett
Smithsonians (because I know it will be updated)
Other Family blogs in no particular order
Then, I use the Evernote app on my ipod to write in my journal
Then I look up all relevant sports scores and read associated stories
Then I go to more political blogs:
MarkLevinShow.com
Politico.com
NewsBusters.org

by then, the kids are usually asleep. I used to be annoyed that I had to spend an hour downstairs getting them to bed, but now, not so much.

Anyway, I think Internet routines are kind of funny.

So this article was a little frustrating to me. Their number one suggestion is to fidget. Seriously? Does anyone know a bigger fidgeter than me? And at 215 lbs., I'm officially in the obese category. Lame!

This is like those articles that tell you to not buy that cafe latte in order to save money. Thanks for nothing.

In the interest of those that would scream TMI, I won't go over my Internet browsing habits while I'm on the pot.

Talk

2010-01-28T20:39:00.002-07:00

I'm giving a talk this Sunday in church on Family History. I'm also updating this blog for the first time in like seven months, but we'll pretend that it's always updated.

Anyway, if anyone wants to see the carnage, our church is at 11. Hopefully the sister speaking before me gives a 45 minute talk like last time.

Led Zeppelin Meets the World's Lamest Sport

2009-08-04T18:15:00.001-06:00

I dare anyone to say synchronized swimming is boring after watching this masterpiece.

Think Blue

2009-06-15T13:43:00.004-06:00

If I don't do this now, I might lose the chance to bask in the glow of the Dodgers being a good team.

I was very excited for this baseball season, because it finally looked like the Dodgers would have a good chance to go deep in the playoffs. They have been very good this year.

They lost their star player, the best offensive player in the game for 50 games. It has had an impact. Their winning percentage is down by .124 since Manny had to leave.

That being said, the Dodgers have held it together with a 21-14 record since. If they had Manny, they probably would have had 25 wins in that same time period, and it's not out of reach to say that Manny could have won 4 out of 35 games for them.

When he comes back, there is potential for a tremendous season. Lets hope they keep it rolling.

And for those of you who say the Dodgers play in a weak division, consider that since Manny has been out, they've played 6 games vs. the Phillies, and 3 vs. the Rangers, both leaders of their respective divisions. They are a combined 6-3 giving them a win percentage of .667, which is better than their overall season win percentage.

Since I'm a fan, I'm going to go ahead and look forward to the World Series. The one team in the AL I wouldn't like to see the Dodgers face would be the Tigers, so there's a feather in your cap, Brett. Sure, Boston, New York, and Texas all have more wins right now, but the Dodgers just beat Texas in Arlington, Manny would have something to prove against Boston, and does anyone think the Dodgers would have trouble hitting it out of Yankee Stadium. That place is a launching pad.

So the NL had better go out and win the All Star Game, and the Dodgers better stay away from devastating injury and make it to the World Series. I have some chickens that I've counted that haven't yet hatched.

You may all go on with your lives.

Bubsywood

PS. Tyler and Jackson and all other Braves fans, when are you going to see the light and root for a cool team? My brothers are beyond hope, but I gave you guys more credit for choosing cool teams. Guess I was wrong.

A Decade

2009-06-10T13:59:00.003-06:00

One of the most common questions my students ask me is: "How can your wife stand you?" The answer is simple, I take out all my vitriol and venom on my students, so by the time I come home, my wife thinks I'm a functional human being. (By the way, did anyone else think that people were saying "human bean" instead of "human being" when they were growing up? I remember when I was like 12 finally figuring out that people weren't comparing humans to a legume.)

And so I'm proud to announce that today is my 10 year anniversary, which I think means I'm supposed to give her something made of tin. Hopefully she accepts synthetic fibers instead.

I will now make a list of things that Ange has had to endure throughout our ten year marriage. In no particular order (keeping in mind that all numbers are approximates unless denoted by an asterisk)...

220 Platypi games

220 scabs on my knee from sliding

3,653* nights of me talking in my sleep

7,306* trips to the bathroom

10 Christmas Vacations up to Idaho

95,622* way funny jokes

7 inappropriate, non-funny, or off color jokes

5* computers

7 cell phones

5,220 glasses of chocolate milk

4,221 socks to pick up

120 BYU football games

3 trips out of town because of work

1 little boy who loves to learn

1 little girl who loves her shoes

2 little kids who love their daddy's ipod

The list could go on. I hope it does. Ange could not be reached for comment.

Psalms 145:9 "The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

When I reflect on the "tender mercies" that the Lord has shown me, the majority, begin or end with my wife. Ange, of course, has a different point of view... I'm pretty sure she's with me because she feels sorry for me.

I just think this picture's funny. I don't know what it has to do with anything.

In non sappy news, Lagoon in June is this Friday. Courtney, or more specifically, Terek had better come down, since Lincoln has been talking non stop this last week about going on rides with Terek. (Sorry if I didn't spell his name right... I'm sure you all understand.)

For all those Idaho people, Friday is supposed to be the best weather day the entire week. Which means it should only rain a quarter of the time. The high is supposed to be like 72 degrees, which means about thirty degrees warmer than the water at Lagoon A Beach. You've been warned. I'd bring a nice waterproof jacket.

Sports Saturday

2009-05-17T13:51:00.006-06:00

So Lincoln is playing soccer. He's always really excited to go play soccer, but it's a total crap shoot what's going to happen once we get to the park.

He did a good job yesterday, he got to kick the ball several times, and once he took it from his own end line past midfield, running past the opposition as he kept kicking the ball. He was eventually stopped by his own teammate. She's 5 to Lincoln's 3, and a much faster runner. She caught him, kicked the ball away from him, and tripped and fell. Lincoln, upon seeing someone fall down, decided to pile on.

Above is photo proof of the episode I described. The girl to the right is the one who caught him. I was talking to her mom later on, and she said that they give her a dollar for every goal she scores. I noticed after that, that she seemed a little more selfish. Plus, her mom said that one week, they had to pony up $27, one for each goal her older daughter scored.

Paying kids for scoring goals... probably not a good idea.

Later on in the day, Lincoln had a free ticket to a Real Salt Lake Game. Real Salt Lake, for those who don't know is Utah's MLS soccer team. Real means "Royal" in Spanish, so their name means "Royal Salt Lake". And they play in Sandy.

Anyway, the facility is really nice. One of the nicer stadiums I've been to. The individual seats are even contoured to accommodate your back. I'd like to see a football game there one day. As for the soccer game that happened while I was there, it didn't change my mind much about soccer. Following is a list of problems I have with the worlds most popular game. Keep in mind, I've actually tried to like soccer. It's true. Just ask my family.

They need to change that insane offsides rule to be a fixed point on the field, instead of defenders that can move. Like Hockey.

Rules only seem to be occasionally applied, making newbies like me scratch their heads as to when a foul should be called, and when it shouldn't.

To help apply those rules, there should be more than 1 ref to make calls out there. Basketball has a much smaller court, and manages to have 3 refs... and they still miss calls.

Fans should not be allowed to throw urine bombs under any circumstances.

People should stop trying to make me like soccer.

I don't want to make anyone defensive... I'd just like to know how a die hard soccer fan justifies the above list.

In the end, our royal Salt Lakers lost 2-0 to the Kansas City Monarchs. No word if they are also royal, or just a butterfly. In any event, a 2-0 loss in soccer, is like losing 133 - 0 in real (English definition) football. I think I might spend $10 or so a seat to watch a soccer game again. The stadium was great, the atmosphere was incredible, and the drummer played the drums throughout the entire game. Maybe if my team scored a goal once in a while, it'd be more exciting.

Finally, a gratuitous Ellie picture.

That's her with Ange's cousin Lynsie, or as I call her "bug eyed glasses lady".

So you had a bad day...

2009-04-02T15:21:00.002-06:00

I'm minding my own business at work, eating a nice pizza for lunch when Ange calls me up and tells me that our basement has once again flooded. We spent $4000 or so last fall to keep water from flooding from the outside. This flood came from the inside. The pipes had backed up, and water had come through the drain into our newly finished downstairs family room.

We spent the rest of the day dealing with the flood. We had a plumber over to try to clear up the blockage, but he couldn't help and referred us to another company that could. They unclogged the pipes, and said they were blocked some 70 feet from where they were.

The cleanup company came and cut out our carpet and put fans to dry everything up. Since there was a possibility that it was sewer water, they told us we had to cut the carpet out, and we had to depart with 10 year old towels that were given to us as a wedding present. They were old, of course, but I don't usually buy towels until they're absolutely necessary.

Everybody left, and we went on with the two hour project of getting the kids in bed. At about 10 pm or so, the kids had eaten and were down to sleep, I look and Ange and tell her that it's finally time to get to bed, and put this horrible day behind us.

Then Ange says "I think I smell natural gas."

Of course, she did smell natural gas, so we called the gas company, woke up the kids, got them out of the house, and waited for the nice gas man.

There was no leak. As most of you probably suspected, the chances of having main water line backup and a gas leak on the same day are astronomical, and so the problems were probably somehow related. So it was. The fans blew out the pilot light to our water heater, and gas seeped out for a couple of minutes before it shut off.

Our little family was very tired the next day.

In the end, our insurance company (in the long run, us) is paying for brand new carpet for most of our downstairs and upstairs, which is nice, since we need new carpet. I think it goes to show that there is usually a silver lining to most bad situations... except having a two year old.

Make your picks

2009-03-17T20:51:00.001-06:00

So I made a little place in yahoo where we can pick some brackets for the upcoming ncaa tournament. You can get there and make your picks by following the following link:

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/register/joinprivategroup_assign_team?GID=167900&P=ericdavis

or by going to yahoo fantasy sports, looking for group # 167900 and using the password: ericdavis

The winner gets Preston's go go puppy.

That be all

Yellow and Blue make go!

2009-02-21T14:49:00.003-07:00

I like Village Inn.

I don't know why.

Could be the yummy skillets, or random shootings.

It was the first place I went to eat after my bout with what I assume was foot and mouth disease 12 or so years ago. (I had cankers all over my mouth, and couldn't eat solid food.) That trip turned out to be a waste of money, because I still couldn't eat solid food.

It was the first restaurant that I took Ange on what could be considered our first date. She wore a "Friends" shirt... I didn't take the hint. (She insists she wore it because of the pretty colors.)

It was the site of Stiel Family breakfasts (Ange's family) for a couple of years.

So, there is quite the history. Today I took Lincoln at the crack of dawn, and we went to get the car inspected. There's a Village Inn nearby, so we went there to pass some time. Lincoln likes waiting at restaurants, because he gets to color with crayons. Today, he got a yellow and blue crayon, which meant I had to combine them to get his favorite color, go. (green) Thanks to Blue's Clues, he knows how to combine colors and make new ones.

I ordered an artery clogging double ham, double bacon skillet. (So good.) Lincoln wanted some pancakes. I looked at the kids meal section and had to choose between smiley face pancakes and chocolate chip pancakes. The smiley face description said that they were three large pancakes, where the chocolate chip description said they were 5 small pancakes. So we went for the "small" chocolate chip pancakes.

They were huge, they covered an entire regular sized plate a couple of times over. Lincoln was only able to down two and a half. I'm trying to figure out what size a child would have to be in order to eat that many "small" pancakes.

This is an actual picture of the dish, minus one pancake.

This could be why we are so fat as a country. I'm not making fun of anyone, because I'm leading the list. Back when I was playing basketball everyday, I was considered obese. Now, the government probably considers me clinically dead.

The perfect solution is for the government to revise their obesity standards.

In other news, I heard that a new study shows that whenever a fast food restaurant opens in a neighborhood, everybody in that area automatically has a 1% higher chance of a stroke.

Good to know.

The Messenger

Quotes from the Bubs

2009-02-08T21:37:00.002-07:00

Some people may wonder why I don't make my blog look nice or update links like everybody else does. Those people will have to wait 'till summer. When summer's over, and I still haven't done it, I'll have to think of another excuse.

Lincoln has been so good going to primary. We were really worried, because we thought it would be hard for him to sit still since his favorite thing is to bounce off walls. But when he goes in primary, he's reverent, listens, sings, and is very respectful. I caught him in the halls walking with his arms folded. He saw me, and just carried on like usual. His teacher is Sister Walker, and she does such a good job with him and the 7 other three year olds in the class. Today, he told me that they sang "Follow Prophets".

We have been worried about sending Ellie to nursery, because there is a pretty mean girl in there that picks on everybody. We saw her put the ol' choke hold on one of the boys, and thought it would be better to steer clear for the day. So, while Ange was trying to get her to sleep in the mother's room, she threw up. We did our best to clean it, but when I checked on it at the end of church, it still had a lingering smell. Ange and Ellie went home, because we thought that after being covered in throw up, they had earned it.

I usually don't comment on the teachers at my school. I've actually sat on this story for a few weeks, but I can't help it. A few doors down from me is a teacher that some consider a tad pompous. I think he's a nice guy, but he only ever says 'Spencer' when I see him walking by me in the halls.

Anyway, I was in his room the other day, and he has all these quotes/sayings blown up on his wall. There's quotes form Ghandi, Jefferson, Washington, Martin Luther King etc. Then I notice that there is a quote in which he has cited himself. I thought that was pretty funny, so I asked a few students about it, and it's true. In fact, he has two quotes hanging up in which he's cited himself. Either this guy is a comic genius, or he's nursing a huge ego.

So, I told my students that I wanted a quote on my wall from myself. My students took matters into their own hands. After a few minutes of working on the computer, I noticed the following quote on the wall: "Shut your little gobs and get to work" - Spencer Millburn. Very nice.

Weekend sickness

2009-01-20T20:32:00.002-07:00

Last Wednesday (now almost a week ago) Ella threw up for the first time in a while. The first time was when I went to get her out of her crib after a nap. She had created a lake in her crib. I was lucky because I got to clean the girl, while Ange cleaned the sheets. Two hours later, her second barf came all of a sudden. She just spewed curdled milk all over the place. I knew it was throw up because of that acidic smell. Ironically, this all happened exactly 800 days after my last throw up.

Ella was not the only person who decided to ralph. Lincoln was next. We went to the open house of the Draper Temple last Saturday. It was nice, but seriously crowded. We went with my dad, who decided to bail when he saw how long the line was, Matt, John and his fiancee, Cassie. The tour ended in one of the smaller sealing rooms of the temple. While the nice man was talking, I was holding Ella thinking of all the explainin' I'd have to do if Ellie just let it rip right there.

After the 4 hour temple trip, we decided to go to Wingers to have some food. Just after we ordered, Lincoln coughed and some throw up came out. Ange was very quick thinking, and grabbed the popcorn bowl, which Link filled in 5 seconds. He seemed done, so I took him to the bathroom to clean up. He was not done. On the way to the bathroom, he throws up again, and catches it with his hand. This happened in front of strangers eating their meals. We cleaned up in the bathroom, cancelled our order and got out of there.

Matt's parting shot to us was "Wingers appreciates your business." That pretty much sums up our relationship with Matt. Scratch that, that pretty much sums up every one's relationship with Matt. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.

Anyway, on the way home, Ange got a little sick, and she threw up. So I'm thinking how the only good that's going to come of this is I'm going to get out of my Elders Quorum lesson, but alas. Everyone was feeling quite well come Sunday morning.

Then on Sunday night/Monday morning, Ange threw up again. So my four day weekend was one giant bummer, with a cool, but long temple trip mixed in. It should also be noted, that I'm the only one with the streak still alive.

In other, less gross news, the results are in, and "Triple Play" has been voted (50%-33%) as the best phrase to use when describing the incredible feat of downing three hot dogs at a baseball game.

Sunbeams

2009-01-13T15:58:00.002-07:00

I remember being a sunbeam... at least I remember singing the associated song. Lincoln is now a Sunbeam. The very first day of class was difficult. Partly because he couldn't go play in nursery anymore, partly because there were 7 other 3 year olds running around in a 10 x 10 classroom, and partly because it was like 55 degrees in said classroom. Ange sat with him, and he did fine.

After a little protesting the second week, he went in, but took his blanket Linus style. He was supposed to give the prayer, so it was going to be interesting. He doesn't exactly talk (but he's trying). Ange stopped in to help him out ten minutes before church was over, only to find him sleeping with another three year old on his teacher's shoulder. Very tired boy... Ange just gave the prayer.

Ella is now in nursery herself. She goes in pretty well as long as we get her interested in a toy. They are now back to their school/daycare at the University of Utah. During lunch yesterday, Matt called me up to inform me that he had seen Ella at the U. He said he didn't think she recognized him, but when I asked her if she saw Uncle Matt, her eyes lit up and she said "Yes". Take that with a grain of salt, if I asked right, I'd get her to say "Yes" to just about anything.

I went to pick up Ella at her daycare, and stopped to just look through the window. I was in time to see her 'share' a ball with another girl, then steal said ball and blast the other girl in the face with the ball, which sent her flying. Since nobody cried, the worker just looked the other way. Seriously, why can't kids just play nice?

And finally, I'd like to note that one of my teeth constantly hurts. I think I popped some of my dental work out during a sled collision, or maybe that time when Matt buried me with 5 feet of snow and rock. I finally relented and made an appointment with the dentist. If he uses any other word than spectacular to describe my teeth and tooth brushing habits, I'm not going to be pleased. Hopefully he'll just fix the tooth that's the problem, and not go poking around for any more trouble spots.

The End

Hallelujah

2008-12-17T20:21:00.004-07:00

Ella has reached the most important milestone of a young life. She has reached 18 months of age, which means she finally goes to the nursery on Sunday.

If you don't go to church, or haven't ever had a child between 12-18 months in age, I don't think you could possibly know the relief I feel at this moment.

I had to celebrate by taking this picture. I think taking it through a dark window caused it to lose some of it's quality.

The bishop's wife wondered why I was taking pictures of the nursery. She asked if I was trying to get "evidence". I told her yes, because I didn't want to tell her it was going on my blog.

Boredom... the bloggers workshop

2008-12-08T20:50:00.002-07:00

My fantasy football league has entered the playoffs. This year, I actually made them. I am playing Matt otherwise known as "The Bloodsucking Ticks". I am winning by 16.5 going into tonight, but Matt has his kicker playing the Monday Night game.

You would think under such intense conditions, I'd be watching the Monday Night game, but no... it's on cable now. Instead of watching the NFL, I'm watching the AFL. That's right, Australian Rules Football on channel 9-2.

It's been a pretty good game between the Swans and the Kangaroos. The refs have made some pretty bad calls. For example. The ref called a behind for the 'roos, when it was clearly a goal. The other ref made up for that bad call though by awarding a goal to the 'roos, when the guy didn't kick it in time.

Yesterday, we went to grandma's house, and helped set up her tree while Ange studied Chemistry. This is a grainy picture taken on my cell phone of Lincoln and Ella playing in the Christmas Tree box, with their aunt Karen.

This is one of Ange's favorite pictures. It was taken a couple of months ago at her aunt's cabin in Idaho. I think she likes it because Lincoln looks so old and mature.

Angela's grandma (dad's side) died last week. She (Phyllis) was a nice lady, almost queen like, but she was in so much pain. The first time I met Phyllis was in church at the old fifth ward. My dad had moved out by then, but Clark, Ange's brother was being confirmed. I sat next to her grandma, and was doing the usual shaking my leg routine. Before I knew it, her grandma's hand clamps down on my leg. I guess she didn't like the constant shaking. It was more jarring than anything.

I'm glad they moved up to Utah for the last few years of her life, and I'm glad that she got to see her great grandchildren. Until last week, Ella and Lincoln had a higher percentage of great grandparents alive than grandparents. And here's another stat for you. Of the 120 decedents of Ange's great grandma and great grandpa, Phyllis was the first one to die. Ange sure has the long life genes... to bad she married someone seven years older than her that insists on drinking tons of eggnog.

I'd better hurry and see if the Swans pulled this one off.

A disturbing development

2008-12-02T16:24:00.006-07:00

Earlier this year, on April Fools, we had our minivan broken into so someone could steal our DVD player. Details are here. We have acquired another DVD player, also with two screens, after enduring a summer without said player. It was a nightmare, and I will tip my cap to those parents who raised children without a DVD player in the car. My cap gets untipped to you guys now that I remember that you didn't put your children in car seats, but rather, let them roam all over the place whilst driving.

Anyway, Lincoln will tell Ange from the car seat to push play on the DVD. This is usually how the conversation goes: "Mommy, push play!" Mommy then pushes play. Then Lincoln says: "Daddy, die!" I am usually stunned by this development, because I've been innocently driving, minding my own business.

I figured I should try to post pictures at least once a month. I didn't realize that kids grew up, but after some of the comments when I last posted pictures, you'd think nobody recognized my children anymore.

Just a word to the wise: if you blow up the above picture, you might spot a booger forming under Link's right nostril. If that's going to gross you out, you might not want to blow up the picture.

Lincoln loves abc's and numbers more than I thought imaginable. He goes around singing the alphabet song now, with a few omissions. He's known letter sounds and how to sign them since he was barely 1. He can recognize and spell a few words too. Among the notables are: Lincoln, Ella, Mom, Dad, zoo, cat, and his all time favorite, happy.

He also likes to change our alarm clock's time. So far I haven't shown up to work an hour early or late but stay tuned...

My little girl is awesome at ping pong.

My favorite part about the bottom picture is how I whited out our license plate. If anyone needs training on how to use 'Paint', then let me know. My other favorite part is how my girl has outgrown the huge jacket we bought for her only a couple of months ago. Geez.

Luckily, said jacket was purchased at DI for a cool $3.

In conclusion, it's hard to take the kids together to Costco, because they both want to push the cart. This necessitates us getting two carts. But if there is only one of us, Lincoln usually ends up being disappointed.

For a very strange one, we don't have this problem at Wal-mart* because our kids don't want to push shopping carts at Wal-mart*, only at Costco.

A mystery solved...

2008-11-23T21:57:00.002-07:00

Earlier this year, like in August, I had left for school, and Ange was getting ready to go. She took a shower, and set Lincoln up with something to do. Lincoln has the attention span of the average Obamanicac (cheap shots are always welcome), so of course he looked for something else to do.

He has got some cooking skillz, and yes I did spell it with a 'z'. So he opened up some Children's Tylenol, found some Kool-Aid in the pantry, and mixed it all together into one gooey mess on the floor. By the time Ange got out of the shower, our boy had licked a good portion of Kool-Aid mixed Tylenol off the floor.

She had to call poison control, which explains the lack of her taking a picture. He is still alive, so unless ODing on Tylenol kicks in 3 months later, I think we're fine.

But there was something strange about the whole incident. We were pretty sure we had put the lid back on the Tylenol. I mean, it's not like we have open bottles of Tylenol floating around the house all the time.

Then yesterday, Ange witnessed Lincoln opening a baby proof bottle of Tylenol. The boy is 3 years old, and he has already outsmarted the baby proof cap. What's next? Is he going to figure out how to undo the child safety lock on our car doors? Maybe he'll be able to get past the little plug stoppers that keep him from electrocuting himself. Perhaps he'll learn how to undo his seat belt. Needless to say, this is a bad turn of events. With how tall he is, and how smart he is, we've lost all our bar space. I suppose we're going to have to put medicine in the medicine cabinet from now on.

In other crappy news, BYU lost to Utah 48-24. I can't believe how good Brian Johnson played and how bad Max Hall played. I think the turning point of the game would be BYU's inability to recover Utah's and their own fumble. If they get both those, I'm convinced the running game would have been a bigger factor, and may have changed the complexion of the game. After all, BYU got 200+ yards on the ground.

Oh well, there's always basketball season and next year.

The end

An artist and his medium

2008-11-19T16:50:00.004-07:00

Warning: This is a picture post. If you don't like to look at pictures of my cute kids, then do not proceed. You know who you are.

So, Lincoln found some of those paints that come in huge bottles, and used our kitchen as his canvas. It took hours to clean up, but at least Ange had the presence of mind to snap a few photos. (Note to the kids, 'snap' used to be what it sounded like to take pictures. Now with digital cameras, it's more of a beep.) He is a pretty good boy, you can see where he tried to clean up the purple paint on the ground.

This is Lincoln at Cornbelly's, one of the few places where he can jump without his parents thinking he's a weirdo.

Just wanted to prove to everybody that Ella's a little princess.
Leaves are fun to play in for little boys. Leaves are not fun to rake up. Fortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard. Unfortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard.

Little girls like leaves too, but usually their brothers get all the attention.

Sometimes, leaves need to be cleaned out of little girls' hair.

I'm pretty sure Lincoln isn't a monkey looking for food in that last picture, but I do wonder about that boy sometimes.

Kermit

I should probably stop neglecting this blog

2008-11-09T22:39:00.004-07:00

As mentioned in the Parry Post, I will be conducting a poll. Hopefully it will be up and running just to the right. You should exercise your right to vote, unless, of course, you don't know what you're talking about and then you'd just ruin it for everybody. Yes we can.

Also, we were lucky enough to get to spend 3 grand to keep our house from flooding. The good news is that our basement doesn't flood with every rain storm. Now we can focus on finishing the basement. Yes we can.

In conclusion, I think fry sauce is the grossest thing to have to clean up. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that most mayo based products are nasty after they sit there for 5 days. Milk isn't as bad, the smell can be bad, but at least it comes out as a solid block. I should post a list of worst foods to have to clean up. Yes we can.

Ella might have pink eye, so those reading this post should go and wash your hands, and not pick at your eye. Yes we can.

The Bubs

The big one

2008-08-28T15:57:00.004-06:00

So I just finished a post, was getting ready to post it, and lost the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad if my keyboard didn't miss every fifth letter. The temptation was to not post, but as you can see, I'm toughing it out. (Bolded letters in this post were pushed on the keyboard, but didn't register on the computer. We need a new keyboard.)

I need to figure out some way to upload a file so others can download. I was thinking of going through the Parry Wiki, but I need a refresher. If only I had a cousin that was good with computers that could provide said refresher...

School is back in session, which as given me the chance to complain about things that I don't like about my current job. The list is pretty short when compared with the same list when I was at the junior high.

1. My room is constantly 90+ degrees.

2. During my second period class on A days, I have to teach 3 different subjects.

On the good news front, I am raising money by selling water. 50 cents for a watter bottle seems reasonable to me. Also, I won the balloon race thing for the faculty in an assembly today. By won, I mean that I was the last one to cross the line thus ensuring victory.

We decided that we will only go on vacations if they can be two weeks long. Such a vacation was recently had. We_spent the first week or so at Angela's aunt's cabin near Island Park. Very nice spot indeed. Needless to say, much fun was had on the water, and much dominating of Settlers of Catan was done by me.

The second week, we spent at Steve and Sharon Parry's cabin near Alpine Wyoming. We got to go rafting, which is always a blast. Unlike Matt, I will now post a picture.

I believe that is a picture of me guiding, and missing Kahuna. Thank you Steve and Sharon for the hospitality.

We did make it up to Jackson to eat and buy some candy. I'm not really sure why Jackson is so cool, but it is, and that's comming from the Bubs.

Our kids just loved the cabins and all the different people they got to play with. Ella loved the stairs until she fell down them. Seriously, kids shouldn't be able to walk until they can safely negotiate stairs.

In conclusin, I wish that I could go down the river every day.

Your friend, Bubs

PS Thanks also to Matt Parry, for telling us how to get a Lenovo tablet computer for way cheap. Ange has needed a laptop for some time, and she loves it.

Sun Diego

2008-08-02T11:30:00.004-06:00

I just got back from San Diego. That is where my work sent me for yet another conference. As destination cities go, San Diego isn't too bad. I was shocked to find that people in my group wanted to go to Old Town, or the beach, or Little Italy, or the Naval Yard, or Sea World, or the San Diego Zoo, or Balboa Park or Phantom of the Opera, when the Padres were in town. I went to 3 games vs. the Diamondbacks and almost got to see a perfect game on Tuesday. That would have been sweet.

Plus not to mention that it was dollar hot dog and dollar drinks at the park for the month of July. On Monday and Tuesday, I had two hot dogs and a lemonade for dinner. On Wednesday, I pulled off a hat trick with 3 hot dogs. My total hot dog consumption in San Diego = 7. And they were pretty good hot dogs. (I had to work up my hot dog tolerance -- the first night, those hot dogs stayed with me until noon the next day.)

Also, for a good one, while I was in the ticket line, I was talking to a San Diegan, and he said how he moved into town, and sold his car, and how much money he's saving. Then I said "What do you do if you want to go on vacation?" He said: "I live in San Diego, why would I want to go on vacation?" I thought that was a good point.

Too bad that the Padres had a day off on Thursday. That meant I had to find something else to do. That something else was to go to Pacific Beach and ride bikes. Others in our group tried to talk me into surfing. I've been fooled by that routine before. I didn't want to try to swim out in the ocean 3 miles, just to not be able to stand up on a surf board. Plus, there was all this panic about a riptide. I was not aware that you could spot a riptide by just looking at the water. Plus how Seinfeld says that the riptide is like the angry bouncer that takes you into the back room and roughs you up a bit. I saw a few people getting roughed up whilst lifeguards in red swimsuits were trying to rescue them. Obviously, those lifeguards were running in slow motion. (Jokes aren't funny if you have to explain them, but the above was a Baywatch reference and a clever one at that.)

We also ate at a place that was way too expensive, but on the bright side, I didn't get totally hammered and make a fool of myself.

That was also the day that Manny Ramirez got traded to the Dodgers. I was thinking it would be sweet if my plane left on Saturday instead of Friday, then I could catch his Dodger debut, but they lost anyway. If anyone doesn't know who Manny Ramirez is, he is the best hitter in baseball, but sometimes does things that aggrivate his team or thier fans or are just plain strange. This is known as 'Manny being Manny'

The following would be a list of good ones that Manny Ramirez has done:

8- Trying to 'pants' David Ortiz at home plate after hitting a game winning homerun.

7- Before Thursday's trade, held up a sign in the dugout during a game that he should be dealt to Green Bay for Brett Favre.

6- Last month, in an attempt to field a ball, tripped over his feet, rolled onto the ball, then tried to go opposite hand behind his back to grab the ball.

5- Went into the Green Monster to take a bathroom break during a coach's visit to the mound and barely returned in time for the next pitch in 2005.
4- Climbed into the Green Monster to make a call on his cellphone during a pitching change July 9.
3- Lost a way expensive diamond earring when he slid into third base in 2002.

2- Made a running catch on a deep fly to left field in Baltimore this season, then high-fived a Red Sox fan then threw to first base to complete a double play.

1- Dived to cut off a relay throw in the middle of the outfield, allowing the Orioles' David Newhan to complete an inside-the-park home run.

Here's hoping the Dodgers start to dominate. And by dominate, I mean score 2 runs.

Bubba

The Glass Box

2008-07-26T11:56:00.005-06:00

The other day, Lincoln went to bed super easy. So easy, that as I'm walking out of his room, I said to Ange, "We're going to pay for this later." As it turned out, it would be sooner rather than later. I heard Lincoln trying to open the door an hour and a half later, so I opened up and took a look inside. I saw the face of a mime...

Lincoln had somehow managed to unscrew a big ol' jar of cream, and smear it all over himself. If I'd of only had a glass box, he would have looked perfect in it.

Those who have kids know that only half of the cream actually made it on his body, the other half was smeared in the carpet, on the door, on his drawers and clothes and shoes etc...

Then, we spent until midnight or so cleaning up the mess

Also, I decided to post a gratuitous picture of Ellie...

She hasn't broken any bones, or made huge messes lately, in other words, nothing worthy of news.

Finally, I should report that I threw another guy out of a game. There was a play at third, and the throw was a little short, so the third baseman, moved toward the runner to field the ball, just as the runner slid. The result was a pretty sweet takeout slide by the runner. The ball went up the left field line, so the runner wanted to go to home, but was tangled up with the 3rd baseman. So he did what any other logical human being would do and started to kick the 3rd baseman. I called the ball dead and tossed the runner for fighting. Then he swore, which of course didn't change my mind. He didn't want to leave, so I had to tell him to go like five times, using my 'angry voice', which meant that teams from nieghboring fields came to take a look at the show.

I guess five times wasn't enough, because he decided to go back out and play left field. He said that he thought he wasn't really kicked out. I think the league decided that he was gone for the season after those antics.

That should be it.

Kronos

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

2008-07-15T14:10:00.005-06:00

It has been an exciting last 24 hours and by exciting, I mean not the fun kind of exciting but rather the lose tons of sleep kind of exciting. Lincoln decided it would be a good idea to break his collar bone.

Storytime:

It is almost 6 pm yesterday, and I'm getting ready to go umpire some softball games. Lincoln, Angela, and I are horsing around a little before I go. Lincoln is standing on the couch, and reclines back to rest for a little, except there was no back to recline on. So he fell backwards onto the floor and bashed what I thought was the back of his head. We couldn't tell, because the couch got in the way of a perfect view of his landing.

I had to leave, but when I got home at 11, there were Lincoln and Ange, waiting for me. He had slept for a couple of hours, but woke up because his shoulder/neck area hurt him. It is never a good sign when I get home from umpiring, and Link is still up.

We tried putting Lincoln to bed, but he was screaming and saying 'ow' all the time. I told Ange that she could sleep, and I'd take care of him. I made him a bed on our couch, and we watched about 45 min. worth of videos by the time he finally went to sleep at 12:15. I thought this would be a good time to troll for food, but decided I didn't want to take the risk of waking him up, so I went to bed.

About 1:45, Lincoln wakes up, and I get him back to sleep at 2:15 using the above method, the only difference being that I thought I'd sleep on the couch instead of my bed, in case he woke up again.

He did, at around 3:30. Ange and I decided the couch just wasn't comfortable enough, mostly because I had a stiff neck after only sleeping on it for an hour. We tried to put him in his own bed, but he continued to scream at the top of his lungs. We didn't know if this was some twisted ploy to get out of sleeping, or if he was really in that much pain. At 4 am, Ange decided to take him to the hospital.

The doctors weren't sure what to make of the injury, because he was using his right arm, and turning his neck, but it would still hurt him. They decided to take an x-ray, although they thought it was highly unlikely that he had a break.

This is his x-ray, and for all those non-doctors out there, I have circled the break in red. Apparently, your collarbone doesn't randomly jut off at a 45 degree angle.

Anyway, everyone was surprised that it was broken, because there was no swelling, and Link had been using his arm. They wrapped his right arm up in a sling, which has made Lincoln happy, because it doesn't hurt so much, and has made me happy, because he's now forced to use his left hand for everything. If we can only get him to throw a 95 mph fastball with that left arm, we'll be set for life, and gas prices can rise as high as they want.

So Lincoln is exploring this new one handed way of life, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon, and stop falling down. If he doesn't, then we got some Lortab for him. He's supposed to have his arm in a sling for 2-3 weeks, hopefully, it will be off by the time we go to Idaho in early August.

In other news, I spent the last week in Atlanta. I got to visit with Steph and Mike Smith, and they showed me a pretty good time. I took Ella, so she could see her cousins, and she really enjoyed the trip, with the exception of throwing up fruit punch on me just as we're boarding our plane in Atlanta.

Far be it for me to complain about something, so I decided to make a pro and con list about the effects of humidity before I form an opinion.

Humidity pros

The sun doesn't seem to beat down as hard because there's so much water in the air.
You don't have to water the lawn.
All sorts of things grow.
The water in the air has a moderating effect on temperature.

Humidity cons

All sorts of things grow.
You are always sweating.
85 degrees is really hot.*
You feel like you live in a warm, wet blanket.
It makes you want to stay inside all day.
There are a hundred times more creepy insects.
Demon Crickets.
The misters at Six Flags aren't as effective.

After analyzing the data, I'd say you must be clinically insane to want to live on the east coast. That is all

Bubs-Bad

*Maracaibo's average temperature was above 110, with humidity, so if anyone thinks I'm whining, then go to Maracaibo and live for two years. Otherwise, you can blow it out your ear.

Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less

2008-07-06T10:29:00.002-06:00

Soon enough Matt is going to be home, and we are going to start a politics blog, so all three of you readers out there won't have to worry about my political rantings anymore, but until then...

About a month ago I signed the petition to the right, I was like the 300,000 or so signer. I would encourage all readers to sign it.

Democrats say that it is only a long term solution, so we shouldn't pursue it, then in the same breath talk about all thier long term solutions.

The fact of the matter is, it's a short term solution to help us have lower energy prices until the long term solutions come online, such as (gasp) nuclear power.

We need to start yesterday... I've already missed one trip to Idaho, and will miss one more in the middle of July because of gas prices. At least we get to come up once in early August.

That is all

Like an old man trying to return soup in a deli

2008-07-02T23:59:00.003-06:00

It had to happen, well not really, but it did. Platypi finally lost. We are now 10-1, but in our defense, we only scored 9 runs. Very frustrating. The seventh inning illustrates how bad we were. I led off with a single. We couldn't even get to second base. Yikes. Is this softball or fastpitch?

Anyway, I ran across a few Muppet videos on You Tube. I'll probably post a carefully selected muppet video in my next few posts. The one for today I saw when I was 5 or 6 (maybe 7 or 8, I am bad at judging the age of early childhood memories). I know I wasn't older than 8, because we didn't have the addition in our house done, and I remember laying on a couch in our front room right where the piano would eventually go.

I was sick, and it hurt a lot to laugh. I saw this video, and it struck a nerve. I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to die:

I don't know why I still think that is so funny. Probably because I think way stupid things are funny. Ask Ange.

The End

101 Posts

2008-06-27T13:15:00.003-06:00

Yes, I finally got to triple digit posts. I would have mentioned it in my last post, but I didn't realize I was going past the century mark. When I reach post number 525,600, I know a song I can use, not that I would ever consider watching the musical "Rent".

I need to do a list, but I can't think of any topics to do a list on, so hopefully next time.

I can talk about softball. Platypi is 10-0 right now, but our toughest remaining game is this Tuesday. We are playing the 9-1 Salt Lake Blues. We easily beat them last time, so they're going to be wanting some revenge.

In umpiring news, I had quite the night last Wednesday. I had my first multiple ejection night.

Everything was going well until late in the 3rd game. One of the batters swung way soft, and tried to hit the ball into the ground-- hoping for the ol' swinging bunt. That is against the rules in softball, so I called him out. He told me I didn't have to be so 'professional', which was confusing to me since I am getting paid, technically, I am a professional. I told him that we might as well follow the rules, at which point, he said 'You're the sh***" and then repeated it, so I tossed him for arguing with me.

I will admit that I was probably too hasty to throw him out, certainly Treebeard would agree, but I have low tolerance for swearing, especially if it's directed at me.

After the game, Dad shows up, and I tell him how he missed an ejection, he stayed and watched a couple of batters the next game, but left about three minutes too early.

The fifth or sixth batter in the lineup for the visiting team took exception to a strike I called on him. He said that the ball was high because it 'came in at my elbow'. I told him that was a pretty good definition of a strike he just gave me. He continued to argue about the pitch, and I said 'The ball is coming in a 2 miles per hour, so you might as well swing at it.' The next pitch came in over his head, but he decided to swing, intent on proving his point. This would be called putting yourself ahead of the team. Predictably, he popped it up, threw his bat way hard, and said the F word. I tossed him at that point. His main argument was that he has never said the F word his entire life. I told him that he chose a bad time to drop his first ever F-bomb.

I am less than halfway through the year, and I have already tossed the same amount as last year. I need to grow some thicker skin.

Blue Bubs

2008-06-15T13:29:00.003-06:00

As I am writing this post, I feel a little sick, so you should all appreciate the effort. Part of the reason I feel sick is because it suddenly got hot, and I umpired 4 games in the middle of the day on Saturday. I don't know why everyone can't wait for it to be hot. As far as I'm concerned, perfect weather is in the 60's with enough rain to let you know it's there, but not enough to cancel baseball/softball games. It's what I like to call Platypi weather.

Speaking of Platypi, we played a doubleheader last Tuesday, which was also my anniversary. We beat the first team 24-3 and the second team 27-8, for a combined 51-11. Yes, we are not happy that we allowed double digit runs over two games, but in good news, we are now 8-0 with six left.

Umpiring this year has been pretty nice, mostly because I think the weather had broken people's spirits. I haden't tossed anyone the whole year, then I suddenly had to toss 2 people on consecutive games, right as the weather started to turn nice. Interesting.

The first guy that I tossed was probably the calmest ejection I've ever had. He popped up, and then threw the bat in disgust so hard that it hit his dugout fence four feet above the ground. After the play I said "Eleven", then he says "Sorry", but not to be detered by his sudden change of heart, I threw him out. As he's crossing in front of me to his dugout he says "My bad." Then the scorekeeper (Bill) had to tell him to leave the park, and he said "I understand." It kind of threw me for a loop, I felt like I was visiting some Bizarro softball field for a while. That was the last game of the night.

The first game of Saturday seemed to be going ok, except for I missed this way obvious call at third. The team argued tons, and as I was replaying it in my mind, I realized that there was no way the runner could have tagged up, but it was too late to change the call. Unlike NBA officials, I did not compound my mistake with an ejection. When the game ended, two teammates started fighting each other. I broke it up, but someone in the crowd yelled "Let them fight." Then one of the people fighting yelled at the fan, saying like 5 f words, so I had to eject him, which means he won't be able to play his next game.

I think after that, everyone was too hot and tired to argue, so there were no further incidents. This all means I'm going to have to update my toss o' meter at the bottom of the page.

Angel Hernandez

Thank You

2008-06-06T09:19:00.003-06:00

I thought I had set my other post to post today, but it didn't work, here's the gyst...

64 years ago today, was D-day, the day allied forces sacrificed thousands of lives to storm the beaches at Normandy that eventually led to the end of Nazi occupation. On that day, President Franklin D. Roosevelt offered this prayer:

On this day, remember that faith in God and our country once united the nation, and can do it again.

Thanks to all those of "The Greatest Generation" who sacrificed at home or abroad, so we can enjoy the freedoms we enjoy today. Your bravery, faith, determination and selflessness will surely be missed.

Bubs

The Accident

2008-05-27T19:05:00.003-06:00

I was reading a Deseret News article about cell phones in schools. Yes, cell phones are annoying, but I'm going to make sure my kids have one, if we can afford it. In the end, if you have a good kid, they won't be getting in routine trouble, regardless of the technology. As a teacher, I do wish that parents would be better at controlling thier teenager's use of cell phones. I have confiscated a few cell phones in my day.

They can also be helpful, I just don't want to end up like this guy, all over Youtube:

We have a softball game tonight at 9, hopefully, we keep it rollin'. Umpiring has been calm this year, meaning that I haven't kicked anyone out. Last Thursday was close. Runners on the corners, and a double play ball is hit to the 2nd baseman. He flips it to the shortstop covering second, who then tries to relay it on to first, only to be barged into by a non-sliding runner. So, the obvious call is a double play, with the runner starting the play at 3rd being called out since he is the most advanced runner.

The barger had a different idea, and was trying to explain to me at the top of his lungs that he's not out, because he didn't mean to run into the shortstop. My argument was that his team mate probably didn't mean to hit a crappy double play ball to 2nd, but he still had to suffer the consequences.

So, I decided to make a list of other things you have to suffer the consequences for, even if you didn't mean to:

16 - Choosing the wrong line at Wal-mart*.
15 - Attacking a fully functional Death Star.
14 - Rear-ending someone.
13 - Bombing a test.
13a - Bombing the Chinese Embassy.
12 - Stubbing your toe.
11 - Burning popcorn in the microwave.
10 - Voting for a Liberal.
9 - Eating Salmonilla.
8 - Misquoting a Seinfeld line around John.
7 - Going to BYUI instead of BYU regular so you have an excuse to not play on Platypi.
6 - Getting sucked into a Star Trek episode.
5 - Not immediately changing a poopy diaper.
4 - Being a white male.
3 - Watching a Drew Barrymore movie.
2 - Believing that "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit".
1 - Burping in front of Steph.

Yes, I paid the price for #1, to the tune of an aluminum bat to the shins, but that which does not kill you makes you stronger, so I continue to accidently burp in front of Steph.

Out

Elmo

The Bubs being the Bubs

2008-05-16T19:53:00.002-06:00

One of the funniest baseball plays I've ever seen was Manny Ramirez (Left Fielder) cutting off his centerfielder, Johnny Damon's throw. Manny was literally 50 feet away, and had to dive to cut it off. This allowed for an in the park homer.

Manny almost topped himself the other day...

Note: this video may not work soon, because Major League Baseball has the copyright. Not sure how those laws work, only that I'm not supposed to copy text books for students unless I posses an equal number of copies of said textbook.

For those who can't see the video, ManRam makes a great catch running backward, runs to the wall, high fives a fan, then throws the ball into the infield to complete the double play. Good one.

In Platypi playing really well right now news, the Platypi is playing pretty well. We won our second game against a team that probably shouldn't be in the upper league, 23-4. It would have been worse had we not gotten sloppy by the 4th inning.

Last Tuesday, we beat our nemisis, Salt Lake Blues, 23-16. Yes, we tend to score 23 runs.

13 days of school left until summer break. Summer break is going to be nice, because we'll be able to sit around and do nothing at home because of gas prices. This, of course, is better than sitting around doing nothing at school, which is what would happen if you forced students into the classroom in July.

Ella is now walking. I consider a child able to walk if they can make it 15 feet. This is not good news. Better news would be that she stays in a swing chair until she's 22 or so. Looks like we'll have two kids to chase around now.

The End
Trogdor

Lincoln the Flopper

2008-05-01T10:35:00.002-06:00

So we have these personal leave days that we get each year. There are 3 such days, and if we don't use them, then they go away. If we don't use any, then we get $180 at the end of the year. I was forced to use one the very first week of the year to attend Natalie's wedding. Yes, she was very inconsiderate to plan it during the school year. Now, I am using my final 2.

I wanted to go to Idaho, but that was before I remembered that gas isn't $1.32 a gallon anymore. Idaho will have to wait until early August. So, it looks like I'm going to fill the first half of the day blogging.

Platypi is now 1-0. We won our first game on the strength of two Brett in the park homeruns, and one from John. Our game last Tuesday was cancelled because they told us it was at 7, and the other team it was at 6. Next Tuesday, they told us it was at 7:30. They should find a way to write down all the game times for the entire season, and give it to us at once. When they do, I'll post the schedule here for any interested parties.

Lincoln has taken up the annoying habit of throwing himself on the ground then pretending he's hurt. He is a pretty good flopper, he reminds me of Robert Horry:

Anyway, no sympathy is given by me, which can be uncomfortable if done in public.

In conclusion, the Jazz had better win Friday.

Sick Day

2008-04-22T11:21:00.002-06:00

So last weekend was one for the books. Lincoln pulled off a 104 degree fever. For those keeping score at home, that is exactly .1 degrees below the panic point according to the doctor we took him to.

There were some pros to him being so hot. Instead of using an electric blanket to warm up the bed, we just took Lincoln and passed him a couple of times over the sheets, and they were nice and warm.

Con-wise, he was pretty much a brute all day long. Plus, I thought sick kids slept longer. Not Lincoln, he slept less. Also, he was constipated like none other, and on top of that had cancors breaking out all over his tougue.

He was much happier on Sunday, but that night was a nightmare -- for me, and probably for him. I slept a grand total of 2 hours. I finally got to bed at midnight, and at 2, I wake up to find Lincoln sleeping next to me, in my sleep deprived state, I assumed he was falling off the bed, and I grabbed him, that woke him up, so then he just kicked me the rest of the night until I finally got up with him.

Monday at school was pretty hard, and I decided that I had to take a sick day just to recover from the weekend. If I have any more weekends like this, I'm going to need that social security check the government just told me about way before I'm 65.

False Start

2008-04-15T20:27:00.002-06:00

Today was our first Platypi game, and predictably, it was rained out, or more accurately, snowed out. Seriously, I know taxes are due today, and Lincoln (Abraham, not my boy) got shot today, but that doesn't mean that the day should be all bad, after all, it is Jackie Robinson day.

My favorite part about the video clip above, besides the cheesy anouncer was how the ump signalled safe. Pretty funny.

The net result is that we're still 0-0.

Also, I got May 1st and 2nd off of school, and we're wondering how we should spend our 4 day weekend... here's the catch, we don't want to spend any money. So here is a list of ideas I've come up with, feel free to add any suggestions as you see fit.

13-Spend an entire night voting for David Archeleta and Brooke White on American Idol.
12-Think of a new nickname so Matt doesn't have to use 'Darth'
11-Think up names Brett and Rachel can name thier baby.
10-Watch the sun rise, then travel across the sky, then set, repeat 3 times.
9-Travel to Draper, mooch off Dad for 4 days.
8-Make up a new letter of the alphabet
7-Go to work and look through my classroom window the entire day.
6-Try to figure out the difference between a pig and a hog.
5-Teach Lincoln how to drive a car.
4-Think up cheesy sayings like 'Don't hate the player, hate the game' to use on my classes when I get back.
3-Teach Lincoln a word besides 'go' or 'ball'.
2-Try to figure out why the brand name Philips only has one 'l' in it.
1-Choose a new favorite number since 14 is apparently a white supremisist number.

We play DeMay next week, seems like we always start the year off playing them.

That time of year again...

2008-04-11T16:03:00.004-06:00

In Platypi Softball news, we are currently 0-0, since we have played no games, but already, two of our better and more reliable players have backed out. This is akin to Tyler going to BYU (Idaho) instead of BYU (regular) so he has an excuse to not play on our team. Also, the only guy on our team who owns a bat broke said bat, so we are now batless. Those who haven't played softball in the last ten years probably don't know how important the bat has become.

Quick example: The Bubs with a $30 bat hits balls just past infielders and in front of outfielders on a solid hit. If The Bubs is swinging hard, then a solid hit will carry to an outfielder provided that (a) he was playing a little shallow, or (b) he took several steps in. Sometimes The Bubs is lucky enough to hit the right field line allowing for 23 year old Bubs to get a triple, but 35 year old Bubs pulls up at 2nd.

The Bubs with a $250 bat on a solid hit can hit the ball over the fence like he did September 21, 2006, in which he hit a grandslam that should have all but won the game for us, except we were pretty bad on defense that day... most likely due to the other teams ownership of $250 bats.

So now anyone can hit a homerun if they plunk down the 250 to buy a nice bat. This has had a few unintended consequences.

1. Watching 12 homers per inning is now not as fun as it used to be, so most leagues have homerun rules that award the defense an out if the alotted number of homers is exceded.

2. Teams that have more money end up being more competitive than they should be.

3. The pitcher now walks a thin line between life and death, as they are required to slowly lob a ball that could get hit back at them with less reaction time. Leagues have combatted this by allowing pitchers to stand back as many as six feet behind the pitching plate to allow for greater reaction time if desired. The Bubs always combatted this by pitching the ball, and then running backwards.

4. The bats have such thin walls (which is what allows so much more energy to be transferred to the ball, making it go so much further) that they only last a couple of years, meaning that every couple of years, it's necessary to plunk another 250 down.

Now, we are without our sweet bat, so who knows what's going to happen. Personally, I wish they'd force everyone to use the old school dead bats, then a homer would actually mean something. Yes, I wish that because I don't usually hit homers, and I usually am pitching.

If you are still with me, congrats, our first two games are on the 15th and 22nd at 7 and 8 pm respectively.

Yahoo! posted a list of the 10 most anticipated movies this summer. I wish someone could tell me what the facination is with Batman, I mean seriously, has there ever been a more remade series than Batman? And they are all boring. You can bet I won't be seeing this retread. If anyone can give me one good reason why there should be another boring Batman movie, then feel free to comment. Just know that you will be mocked by all those who have the ability to think. On a related note, could we stop talking about Heath Ledger? Let's get back to Brittany Spears and Olsen Twin news.

Of course, the movies that are comming out this summer have very little impact on my life. It is such a production now to go to a movie. As it turns out, I'd much rather spend the money on diapers and formula. On a final note, I will rank last year's movies that I saw from best to worst:

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Out

April Fools

2008-04-01T17:19:00.003-06:00

So for the worst April Fools joke ever, somebody got into our minivan and stole our portable DVD player. Those who have children know how valuable this item is. Ours had two screens, one that could be strapped to a head rest, so Lincoln could watch a movie and stay quiet. Now in the car it's one constant "Uh Oh" from him.

It was also the worst April Fools joke ever, because it happened on March 31st. Apparently, the crooks forgot to honor leap year this year. The only other thing stolen was a CD of Spanish songs that I had. Our English CD's were left alone. This would lead me to believe that the crook speaks Spanish. I don't want to jump to conclusions here, but there is a possibility that if Bush had taken care of the border, then we'd still have our DVD player. Of course, the crook could just as easily have been a return missionary that happens to speak Spanish. Either way, as John has said, I'd rather someone come up and punch me in the face than steal from me.

In second to worst April Fools day joke news, someone set off not one, but two stink bombs in my hallway today. The first one was set off around 9, the next around 11. Yes, I still have a taste in my mouth.

For those interested in Platypi, our opponents were announced today. Among other notable foes, we will be playing DeMay Plumming and the Salt Lake Blues.

Also, today is H1-B day. It is the first day that highly skilled workers can apply for a visa to work in the United States. Read here for more info. A good first step to immigration policy would be to allow more highly skilled workers into the US, but don't just believe me, a majority of Americans (63 to 29) believes this also.

Sorry for waxing political, maybe I should start another blog... of course, I haven't been able to nurture the one blog I do have...

Rollie Fingers

For Matt only... let me know if this got emailed to you, I'm not sure if I did the email setting thing right, and if you don't want my blog emailed to you, let me know that too.

hace mucho tiempo...

2008-03-24T14:29:00.002-06:00

So we are back from our extended vacation. I'm sure I've lost all my subscribers by now, but it was more a test of the faithfulness of my readers. We shall see.

Anyway, it seems that a little baby, a 2 year old, and a job have pushed blogging down to a lower priority... If I could only access my blog from school, then there would be not stop pontificating on my part, and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

In the news section of this blog, my work is going to make me an AVID instructor, which pretty much means that they are going to send me to San Diego over the summer. Earlier in the summer, I am getting sent by my work to Atlanta. As you can imagine, Ange is thrilled about that. Hopefully, much fun and zero learning will be had on these trips.

Ange is in school, and is very busy herself. I know that she's way busy, when I watch the kids for 20+ hours per week. Personally, I'll be glad when school is over, and if anyone says that you never stop learning, they are wrong. I stopped learning a long time ago, which explains why I just gave Lincoln apple sauce without a bib

Yvan eht nioj

2007-09-13T06:45:00.000-06:00

Brett and Rachel have now moved on, they got out just in the nick of time. Since they have moved out, our basement has flooded 3 times and we've all gotten sick. The floods are the HOA sprinking system's fault, but I'm sure they don't plan on helping us out, even though the floods have touched off some serious mold downstairs.

Also, I came close yesterday while I was umpiring to having to reset that throwup timer on the right hand side of the page. I honestly think that the thought of doing that kept me from throwing up.

Hunter is turning out to be a pretty good place for me so far, except my room on some days ends up being about 94 degrees. The record is 98 degrees. My last period of the day seems more interested in sleeping than learning when it's that hot.

Also, Hunter brought in this band to play during lunch. I could hear them from my room. I went to check it out, and it was the Navy, doing some recruiting. I half expected to see Bart Simpson and Millhouse make an appearance.

Anywhoo, back to the grind.

Ralphie

Triple Play Bubs

2007-08-15T08:09:00.000-06:00

Brett and Rachel have officially moved down to SLC... they are staying with us until an apartment opens up. I figure I'll let them tell everyone the details on thier blog, if they ever get around to updating it.

The following is a list of things Brett has dominated me at since he moved in.

fooseball
raquetball

This list is likely to grow as time goes on... I didn't realize I was so bad at raquetball, I was like those guys that think they are way good singers, and then embarass themselves on American Idol.

Lincoln is getting real good at identifying letter sounds. He just picked up a magnetic P, and made the P sound, and then did the same thing with F. He isn't a big talker yet, he does have a few words he tries to say...

Mama
Dada
Amen
mar mar mar (marshmelows)
mo mo mo (more)

and so on.

Yesterday while I was umpiring at West Valley, I saw quite the show. I also saw two of my former students from last year. From seeing thier parents, I now understand more about them. That was a joke.

So bases are loaded, 0 outs, and a guy pops up to the shortstop, and promply says the F word. Knowing I have to toss him, I wait to see the play develop. I call infield fly, the shortstop catches the ball, for some reason, the guy at second is way off his base, and the shortstop goes there for the double play. The guy at third, seeing that the throw went to second, decides to tag up and try for home. The throw comes home, and easily gets him. My first ever triple play... the old F6-4-2.

Of course, the team that got the triple play turned against them, was arguing for some reason with me, whilst I was trying to find the batter, to break the bad news to him. I finally found him, and let him know he was gone for using the F-word. Now the team is real mad at me. They asked for a warning. I told them that this guy getting kicked out is a warning to the rest of them. For the rest of the night, that team hung around saying every swear word except the F-bomb, whenever possible to see if they could irritate me. Seems like a waste of a couple of hours, but I guess harrassing the umpire was more fun than going to the local bar.

In conclusion, I tossed a guy and called my first triple play, all on the same at bat. Hopefully Thursday at West Valley goes a little better, especially since they give you cold hard cash at the end of the night, and then I have to hope I don't get jumped on my way out of the ballpark.

We went to Bear Lake for a day. It is the time of the year when we need to try to get vacations in before I have to go back to work, which is only 4 days from now. A good time was had by all, especially the campers next to us, who got to listen to Lincoln cry for half an hour at 2:30 in the morning. Link managed to wake up another kid about 5 sites away, that was crying well after he went to bed. Needless to say, we got out of there fast, before anyone could get mad at us. We also got out of there fast, because Ellie managed to throw up on two outfits at once, and destroyed 4 in the space of 3 minutes thus leaving her outfitless. The joys of camping with kids...

Shampoo Bubs

2007-08-02T08:59:00.000-06:00

First off, we're signing up for fantasy football. It involves an email draft at the beginning of the year, which is a time commitment, and about an hour a week to run your team. If anyone feels up to it, go to yahoo fantasy football with the following info:

League ID 284371
password platypi

Go ahead and sign up if you are interested. As an aside, Christen, have Mike check his email and sign up if he wants to play.

In a softball game yesterday, I was umping, bases were loaded, I'm sure a few players were loaded too. It was a women's league, and the batter hit the ball down the 3rd base line. The runner on 3rd tried to avoid it by juming over it, thus leaving her base. The ball bounced up and hit her while she was off the base, but in fair territory, before it had passed any defensive player. You make the call, by the reaction of the 3rd base coach, I don't know the rules. Her argument was that we can't expect players to maintain contact with the base when they know they are going to get hit. I told her to just go into foul territory. Seemed pretty obvious to me.

We did the old crib taking down ceremony yesterday. Lincoln is now in a big boy bed. We had him wave bye bye to his crib as I took it and hid it outside. After he was asleep, I took it downstairs into storage. We are going to try to wait 12 weeks, and set it up for Ella. Hopefully Lincoln will be none the wiser.

Last Monday, I took a shower, which isn't an every day occurance in the summer. Either the kids are awake and terrorizing, or I'm afraid of waking the kids up, or I don't feel like taking a shower. After I took the shower, for the rest of the day, I noticed that my head seemed extra bumpy whenever I scratched it. I went to sleep, and in the middle of the night it dawned on me. I forgot to wash the shampoo out of my hair. This will happen to me like twice a year. When I told Ange, she said that she thought I had washed my hair with body wash. Apparently, my hair smelled quite fragrent. I guess it's my lot in life to forget to rinse my hair from time to time. I wonder if shampoo bottles mention that in the instructions. Needless to say, I took a shower as soon as I could to get rid of my bumpy head. Taking showers on consecutive days was quite the blow as you can imagine.

We are going to Bear Lake this Wednesday. We have room for 4 more people. If anyone is interested in a quick Bear Lake excursion, email me, and I will share details.

Platypi is going to be starting up the last week of August. We are still short a player, if anyone knows of someone who dominates, let me know. By dominate, I mean doesn't strike out, and can catch.

Squidward

The Rocket

2007-07-27T11:16:00.000-06:00

So if I gave you three guesses to figure out what the Rocket is that I'm referencing, some would guess the ride at Lagoon. Others would guess a pitcher that can't make up his mind about retirement. Other's might make jokes about NASA employees. Everyone would be wrong. The Rocket is what I call Rocket Park in Bountiful. I usually umpire once a year there, and last night was the night.

There was a huge thunderstorm that came through Salt Lake, and I had quite a nice view from The Rocket... it faces southwest, and is kind of high up. I kept thinking how it had to be close to our house in West Valley, and I was right. Ange said it was quite the show... you could've read a newspaper by the lighting light.

Anyway, I had to umpire games in between enjoying the lightshow, and I got to toss someone, so that made my night. An overthrow at first base, and the runner decided to go. I had worked my way to about the pitchers mound. When I saw the runner going, I got as close as I could. I ended up about 5 feet away from the most obvious tag out at second. The runner knew he was out, and didn't even try to slide.

The 3rd base coach disagreed, and while walking in, yelled 'You can't see tags, you can't see the plate, you can't see ****'. I said 'Do you know what? You're done.' and made my signature tossing action. He then had the best comeback of all time: 'Well, you should be done.' After much laughing by his team was done, he left the ballpark.

We had a nice trip up to Idaho. It's kind of a Bummer, because that was our big trip for the summer, and now it's over. I now have less than a month before school begins. We enjoyed our all the time we got to spend with our family, and certainly enjoyed the cabin and the river trip. I'd have to say that Steve and Sharon put on a pretty good show.

This time down, I was in the boat that, at John's insistence, took a Ghandi style approach to water fighting. We tried the best we could to not react, and everyone just figured we were too boring to soak, so we got left alone. Then Matt had a brilliant plan, which was to steal the other boat's water cannons, but his brilliance was only short lived, because he only stole two of the three, thus leaving them with a weapon. Too bad.

We are hoping to be able to make it up to the cabin one more time around Labor Day. We sure are lucky to have such good family.

In conclusion, Lincoln just woke up.

Ms. Flint

RCA SUX

2007-07-11T09:27:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Happy birthday to me. For my birthday, I got to sit at the DMV (It's a leper colony down there) for an hour because I just realized that my drivers licence was about to expire.

While renewing my licence, I got the opportunity to register to vote. We've moved since the last general election, so I took advantage. When they asked me party affiliation, I was seriously considering marking democrat so I could vote for the worst democrat candidate in the primarys. Then I realized that the worst candidate is going to win anyway, so I just marked republican.

On Monday, I went to see Harry Potter. Angela's mom had free tickets to a sneek peek showing, and invited me, then followed it up with the new Harry Potter book for my birthday. I'm not one of those crazy fans that runs around in robes with thier wands drawn, but I have to admit that I like the Harry Potter books, and I've seen in the schools how the books have at least gotten more kids interested in reading. Anywhooo.

I got to see Harry Potter 5, which is pretty good as far as movies go. If you like Harry Potter, you'll like the movie. If you are one of those people that think it's cool to not like things that other people like, then it will be easy to pretend that you did't like the movie. If you truly don't like Harry Potter, then why are you going to the movie in the first place? I'm going to go ahead and give the movie 3 1/2 wands out of 5. It got knocked down half a wand because of the predictable slow motion, soundless Harry Potter scream when a main character dies. I was pretty sure that was going to happen.

The best part of the movie was that I got to see the trailer for the new "Get Smart" movie. Check out this link, click on 'Watch the trailer', and tell me it isn't the funniest thing you've seen in a while. Plus, Steve Carell is about as close as we're going to get to Don Adams.

If I had a personalized license plate, it would read RCA SUX. Now sit down and listen to the story of why:

About 3 months ago, Lincoln was obsessed with the garbage. Around the same time, our remote for our semi new TV which has a DVD player built in, disappeared. We're pretty sure Link decided to throw it away.

I tried to find universal remotes that work, but I couldn't get them configured right. Finally, I concluded that if it is too hard for me to do, then it must not work with our TV.

My next idea was to go to Wal*Mart and pillage a remote from an unsold unit. I decided that was an amoral approach. So wanting to do the right thing, I called up RCA, the maker of our TV, and ordered a new remote.

8 to 10 business days later, a package arrives. I am disappointed, because the remote looks nothing like our old one, and even more disappointed that it doesn't work. Wanting my wife to be able to change the channels whilst holding the baby, I called up RCA, and informed them that they gave me the wrong remote. They asked me if I had batteries in the remote. I ignore the question because I'm not an idiot. They agree to send me the correct remote.

10 business days later, no remote arrives, so I call them. They said they were just kidding and for real were going to send the remote. They want to send me the exact same one they sent before, even though it isn't the right remote. I tell them that it isn't going to work, and 8 to 10 business days later, I'm vindicated as the second remote they send me doesn't work.

So I call them, and they tell me I have to get it at an authorized dealer, because they don't have the remote I need. I then ask for my money back. I get sent on the biggest wild goose chase in history. After calling six different numbers, I am informed that it is impossible for RCA to refund me the money, because thier policy states that they can only give refunds within 30 days of purchase of the product. I inform them that my policy is that when I buy something from someone, I expect it to work, or I get a refund. Plus, I did call them within 30 days, but they stalled me off by sending out the same remote that didn't work in the first place.

The conversations pretty much ended with a good old fashioned scream down by one of thier tech support guys who got mad with my response to if I had batteries in the remote. I told him I'm not stupid, my IQ is 142 and I could apply for MENSA if I wanted to. That is stretching the truth a little, my IQ last time I got tested was 136, and of course, having a high IQ doesn't necesarrily mean that you're not stupid.

Anyway, I spent 4 hours of my life arguing with these guys, but now I got the government to go after them, we'll see. The moral of the story is don't buy RCA products, because they have horrible customer service.

Aesop

It's the end of the world as I know it.

2007-07-06T20:14:00.000-06:00

Did I mention last time that when I put in sod, that I also put in a fire pit? Well, I did, which means I have to think of ways to use it, so it doesn't become a waste.

Ange and I were sitting in our room while Lincoln played somewhere else. Suddenly, we hear him start fiddling with the doorknob, and hear a satisfied grunt as the door opens, and he comes running in. Somehow, I don't think our lives will ever be the same.

We're getting excited for everyone to come down, and also excited to run the river, seeing as how we've had something like 40 days in a row with 100 or above temperatures. The following is a list of my predictions of what will happen. As usual, when my predection becomes true, I will shout 'prediction' for all to hear.

12 - John will somehow end up in a life threatning situation.
11 - Matt will get way lucky at some game... most likely Pillage and Plunder.
10 - Mike will finally choose a favorite baseball team and stick with it.
9 - Brett will make a hole in one on the 3rd hole at Uncle George's. (This is only a ploy to get him to come down, as he knows how accurate my predictions are.)
8 - Steph will get mad at someone for burping.
7 - The Bubs will try to play wiffle ball the entire time, only to be shut down constantly by Matt and John, who just want to watch Animaniacs.
6 - Jorja will remain in Georgia.
5 - Stockton will chastise someone for saying the 'stu' word.
4 - Maysen will avoid eating the 'inside skin' of her apple.
3 - Ellie will just sit there the entire time with a blank look on her face.
2 - Link will throw a toy through a window.
1 - Mike S.will negotiate with the drive thru lady at the local Wendy's for one of the sweet prizes.

Um, that's all folks
Porky Pig

Escargo Anyone?

2007-07-03T03:45:00.000-06:00

First off, I'd like to mention that the streak is alive and well. I thought I was going to have to reset my throwup streak, but the thought of doing that helped me tough it out. Now Ange is sick which means I haven't slept in 2 days, and explains this post at 3:30 in the morning.

Next, I have now tossed two people this year. I was thinking that I wasn't going to get to toss anyone this year, but in the last five days, the full moon has wrought strange behavior on softball players.

The first victim of the tossing was a guy who was sent home for arguing balls and strikes. In his defense, he was mad that he didn't swing at the most perfect pitch in history. His team had kind of worked me up with sneaky complaining all night about obvious calls, so when he complained, I took it out on him.

The second guy was sent home for dropping an F bomb. In his defense, he did hit a way crappy pop up. Plus, his whole team thought that if you drop a fly ball, it counts as an out as long as the fielder was diving. These rules can be hard to keep track of.

We can only hope I get more opportunities to toss people, because I have a pretty good tossing motion. It comes from years of practice in the shower. I start my hand at my hip, and swing it up toward my head while pointing just over the nearest fence. It's perfect.

I will keep track of all ejections at the bottom of this page. We can only hope the list grows.

We put sod in our backyard recently. John was the only person cool enough to help out, so thanks John. I'll bat you leadoff next game for your troubles. Now that there is grass in our yard, I've noticed this huge snail migration. They come from under my deck, and try to make it across the grass where there is a wooden fence. This seems to be the goal of the snails. I don't know if snails are bad for grass, but they are a little creepy, so the other night, I went out with a small garbage can, and plucked 58 of those snails off this small patch of grass that we have.

I was thinking it would be a good idea to sell them to some French people as expensive food, but there are no French people that live by us, which also explains why I haven't started a bottled water business, or a surrender your country at the first sign of an invasion business.

So I figured I made my point with the snails, because 58 of them were crawling around the garbage can, so I went out 20 minutes later only to find 6 more crawling around. Needless to say, I was not pleased, so I picked them up and threw them on to the road. I threw them as high as I could to see if I could break their shell. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not.

Then today, I found ten more out on the grass, so clearly, the message isn't being sent. They recieved the same treatment as the others, and I kind of feel bad that I made snails needlessly suffer, but in my defense, they are pretty annoying.

For those who don't know, we'll be blessing Ella, the date, time, and place will be on the Family Wiki here.

The End
F Bomb Nazi

A New Girl in Town

2007-06-19T11:41:00.000-06:00

Looks like Lincoln has been taken down a notch. We welcomed Ella Elaine to our family on June 11, 2007. She was 6 lbs. 15 oz., 20 inches tall, and is pretty cute as you'd expect by looking at her parents.

So far, Lincoln has remained optomistic that this is just a phase.

Ange is doing well, but as usual, food is appreciated. More by me than by her.

In other news, we went to Lagoon, and Lincoln rode the kiddy rides for the first time. His favorite ride seemed to be Kontiki, that one that looks like the Tidal Wave.

He was so interested in that one balloon game where you throw darts at balloons, that I plunked down 2 dollars to play it. They gave me 5 darts. The first 4 found thier mark, and then I asked Lincoln if he wanted to throw one. Without hesitating, he takes the dart and throws it, as the workers are scrambling to get out of the way. He popped a balloon, and his reward was an oversized foam die.

We also discovered that he is about an inch and a half short of riding on Rattlesnake Rapids, so Steph needs to make sure to bring her tall shoes when she comes down.

Finally, I have Platypi stats updated, but nowhere to post them just yet. I'm pretty sure Chad is going to comment on how I can do it on the family wiki, so I will give details. It is a somewhat hefty excel file, that I want people to be able to download. Now I will wait for the response. I would like to mention that right now, I lead the league in walks with 8. And I'm second in the league in triples with 3. I bet most of you didn't see that coming.

Coco Crisp

Oh and Happy Birthday Mike -- we'll beat Salt Lake Blues for you.

Hands off my money...please

2007-05-28T11:08:00.000-06:00

I added a couple of new links to my blog. The first is a blog by Alyssa Milano of 'Who's the Boss?' fame. She is a Dodgers fan as am I, and her blog is mostly about the Dodgers. I'd have to say the best line in her blog is when she is talking about how Barry Bonds hit a homer against the Dodgers and she 'threw up in her mouth a little'. Good stuff.

The second blog I linked to is a Home Preparedness blog. A while ago on one of those 5th Sundays, they (whoever they is) had a guy come in and talk about saving money and being prepared for whatever may happen in the future. He has a blog, the link will take you there.

Now to my motivation for this post...

I'm looking at my gas bill, disgusted that I can't provide my own gas, when I notice that I only used $14.59 worth of gas last month. Sounds good, but hold your horses. Questar thinks it's funny to add a 'service fee' of $5, why they can't just include that with gas charges so I don't get mad about it, I'll never know.

That is not all. The government comes in on their high horse and taxes me a whopping 10.1%, and they inculde the stupid service charge. Not a big deal when only $14 of gas was used, but in January, we used over a hundred dollars of gas, and the government got to stick it to us for 10 more dollars. No wonder the government doesn't do anything about high gas prices.

Keep in mind, I have to pay them with money that I already paid taxes on.

I understand that the government needs to function, and that some taxes need to be paid, but I don't understand why I have to get nickeled and dimed my entire life when as a teacher, I don't make that much (relative to other americans) to begin with.

I guess the government just knows how to spend my money better. Afterall, someone has to pay for them to fly all over the country in thier leer jets, or they wouldn't be able to lecture us about global warming, and how we should conserve our natural resources.

The following is what I wish would happen. An independent accounting firm should put a cap on how much a legislative body can spend. For every percent that the legislature goes over, all members of the legislature get 2% taken away from their paychecks.

That's just off the top of my head, but seriously, something needs to be done to ensure that they use our money wisely.

Al Gore

Trudy and Norrison

2007-05-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

It's been a hard weekend... I heard that Sardine canyon had closed due to a fatal accident. We were watching the news, and found out that it was our nieghbors from across the street. This is the article from the Deseret News.

SARDINE CANYON, Box Elder County — A West Valley City father was the only one to survive an accident Friday evening that claimed his wife and 12-day-old infant and also took the life of a cyclist. The chain-reaction accident occurred just after 6 p.m. up Sardine Canyon on the border of Box Elder and Cache counties where U.S. 89 and state Route 91 merge, troopers said. Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Blaine Robbins said a vehicle carrying the couple and infant was heading north when a bicyclist traveling along the side of the road turned out into the path of the car. Robbins said the driver was unable to stop in time and struck the cyclist, causing the father to lose control of his vehicle, which veered into oncoming traffic and collided head-on with a truck. Troopers say the cyclist, 37-year-old Robert Bennett of Brigham City, was pronounced dead at the scene. The car's driver, 37-year-old Michael Middleton of West Valley City, suffered serious injuries.
His wife, 38-year-old Trudy Middleton, was killed, and their 12-day old infant, Norrison Deschner, who was in a car seat, was flown by helicopter to Primary Children's Medical Center in extremely critical condition. The baby later was pronounced dead. The couple was in the process of changing their family name from Deschner to Middleton, according to the Highway Patrol. Robbins said both husband and wife were wearing their seat belts.

I know everyone says this about people who die, but Trudy was such a good person. She really was almost too good for this world. She was a fantastic piano player, and was due about the same time as Ange. Her baby came early, and he was so cute. She always used to say that Lincoln was the cutest little boy in the ward, and was always so kind to us. She also had a great sense of humor. To say we're going to miss her would not be enough.

Her husband Michael is a great guy as well. It will be hard for him, but I'm sure he'll find the strength to carry on. I am reminded of a lesson I taught a couple of months ago in Elders Quorum. Michael added some great comments to the lesson, and I hope his testimony can carry him through this difficult time. A quote from that lesson by Spencer W. Kimball, has stuck with me for a while:

"If we say early death is a calamity, disaster, or tragedy, would it not be saying that mortality is preferable to earlier entrance into the spirit would and to eventual salvation and exaltation? If mortality be the perfect state, then death would be a frustration, but the gospel teaches us there is no tragedy in death, but only in sin. "...blessed are the dead that die in the Lord..." (D&C 63:49)

Of course, tomorrow marks the 11th anniversary of my mom's death, I hope Trudy can find her, because I'm pretty sure they'd like each other. I know Trudy and Norrison are ok, I pray that Michael will be.

Chip In Bubs

2007-05-12T08:12:00.000-06:00

I won a St. George golf getaway. This was back in December, I was watching channel 2, just about to go to bed. They threw up a trivia question, and I emailed in the correct answer. The question was:

According to NFL rules, what is the maximum amount of times a team can play on Monday Night Football during a season?

The next Wednesday, they informed me that I won, and I decided to cash in last week. Ange is pregnant, and obviously in no condition to golf, so we took John along with us.

The golf course was pretty nice. We got a cart, and 18 holes. Normally it would have cost $53 per, so there is no chance I would have ever golfed this course had it not been for the freebee.

Nice courses are lined with homes, and that makes me a little nervous, luckily, niether John nor I ever hit a house, although I gave one house a pretty good run for the money.

I was doing ok through the first six. The second par 3 we saw was over this gigantic ravine. I pared that hole, and then things fell apart. On the next tee, while we were waiting, the guy behind us, who seemed a tad religious, because he called the day 'glourious', even though it was clearly not glourious thanks to the wind, struck up a conversation and shook our hands. This would later be known as the 'touch of satan' because I suddenly couldn't hit the ball off the ground.

I regained my stroke toward the end of the front nine, but the damage was done, I was 23 strokes over par, while John was sitting at 15 over. (Yes, we suck)

On the 13th hole, a par 4, I hit a nice drive, and then promply hit a crappy shot that left me about 110 yards away from an elevated hole. There were houses surrounding the hole, of course, and I hit a pretty good shot, but couldn't see the hole. I took a couple of steps, and then a couple of guys on the balcony of one of the houses started cheering. My ball went straight into the hole. That would be the longest 'chip in' ever for me, and the only birdie of the day. I finished the back nine with a 14 over, while John finished with a 24 over, quite the role reversal.

On the last hole, it was a par 5, a little downhill with the wind at our backs. I hit a nice 300 yard drive that curled perfectly with the fairway. John bombed one, but we couldn't find it, so he had to drop. His next shot was a grounder, and off the fairway, and while he was looking for that ball, he found his origional ball, only 115 yards away from the hole. Quick subtraction told us that he drove his ball some 370 yards. Quite the drive.

It was a nice trip, and quite relaxing, especially since grandma had Lincoln. We watched the Jazz win the last two games vs. Houston, so, as you can imagine, we were in a good mood.

Pictures to come of the golfing, as soon as we find our camera.

Moving on... I found out yesterday, that Hunter High School is going to hire me for next year. I will be teaching Spanish, and either Math or Chemistry. This isn't one of those 'one year only' positions, so hopefully, I'll be there for a while. They also mentioned that they might have me coach girls basketball, and boys baseball. Obviously, I'm not going to force the issue, because I have people at home that I need to take care of, so we'll see. Needless to say, I'm excited for this opportunity. The Junior High has been nice, but those kids are more than restless, of course junior high kids just do nonstop dumb annoying things. High school kids tend to get in bigger trouble.

Finally, we have a car for sale, if anyone knows of someone who is interested. It is a well kept Ford Escort, has about 73,000 miles on it, was born in 2000. We owe $4,700 on it, so that is what we are trying to sell it for. We're trying to get down to just one car, now that Ange is a true stay at home mom, and gas prices are through the roof. I'd rather sell the car to someone I know, since I've never sold a car before, and am not sure how to do it.

The end

Cold Cereal Critic Bubs

2007-04-22T14:10:00.000-06:00

I think I've been a little heavy handed with my posts lately, so I'm finally going to get down to doing a much needed list.

Best Cold Cereals

17- Honey Comb - Pretty ordinary if you ask me.
16- Cocoa Puffs - Not as good as it's cocoa cousin.
15- Reese's Puffs - A little peanut butter never hurt anyone, except for those with peanut allergies.
14- Apple Jacks - A poor man's Froot Loops.
13- Trix - I remember dad tourturing me in the store when I wanted to buy Trix saying "Trix are for Rabbits." Then I'd respond with the famous "No, Trix are for kids!" (I think that last sentence does merit an exclamation point.)
12- Raisin Bran - I like the one with sugar all over the raisins.
11- Cheerieos - The old standby.
10- Cocoa Pebbles - For the chocolate milk factor.
9- Cookie Crisp - Obscure
8- Rice Krispies - 2 reasons why this is so high on the list.
1- You can make rice krispy treats from them.
2- Dad told me that when the rice krispies are crackling, they are saying "Spencer W. Kimball is the prophet."
7- Kix - Rated high for the keeping Lincoln quiet in church factor.
6- Mini Wheats - I'm surprised myself.
5- Fruity Pebbles - Knocked down a few notches for always coming in a little box.
4- Lucky Charms - This cereal has made a surge of late. 10 years ago, it wouldn't have been in the top ten. I'd have to say Malt-o-meal's Marshmellow Mateys have something to do with that.
3- Frosted Flakes- I'm not sure if I like the milk afterward or the cereal more.
2- Cinnamon Toast Crunch - Much better than it's younger, uglier brother, French Toast Crunch.
1- Froot Loops - aka tear the roof of your mouth apart cereal, but seriously, quit whining.

I would like to mention that I purposefully snubbed Wheaties. They aren't that good, seriously. Any other snubs may be an oversight. I would also question General Mills's website. They buried Cinnamon Toast Crunch, it was almost impossible to find. Why?

Plus, I purposefully overlooked a top tener, the first one to notice and name will win a few drops of Tylenol for Infants.

Office quote of the day:

'I accidently cross dressed, then I had to ride up here with stupid Toby!"

Leave 'em all behind

2007-04-14T10:29:00.000-06:00

One of the best commercials of all time, I first saw it at Hunter when the Physics teacher showed it to me. It's 2:00 long.

There were no camera tricks or computer graphics added, except the room wasn't big enough to fit the whole thing, so they split it into two takes, right where the muffler is rolling on the ground... If you are seriously interested, you can start by visiting the link below:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/advertisements/hondacog.asp

Of course I'm trusting someone I don't know, but Snopes hasn't let me down before.

So Easter is in the books. That means it's stretch run time for teachers. Time to drill kids into submission, so they can pass a multiple choice test that will show how good of a teacher I am. And if they don't do good, then of course, it's my fault.

I actually think the No Child Left Behind law is alright, except for a few fatal flaws. The biggest problem I see with the law is that all responsibility is put on teachers for a child's learning. In my opinion, at least two other parties are responsible. The parents or guardians of the child, and the child him/herself.

I also have a problem with the culture of treating teachers as if they aren't professionals. Teachers train for thier job longer than just about any other job, and it's irritating when "know-it-alls" come riding in on thier white horse and try to fix what's wrong with teachers. By in large, the system is broken, and teachers try to do the best they can with a broken system.

So, if we have to have a law that holds people accountable, it should hold accountable all responsible parties, not just teachers. Here's what I'd do, of course I'm only a teacher, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about.

1. Parents don't get to claim a tax deduction for a failing student.
2. Failing students repeat the grade they failed.
3. Teachers continue to be held accountable.

The biggest problem with this scenario is the same problem we have today, and that is how are we going to decide who is 'failing'?

Also, there are several students (namely children of illegal aliens) whose parents don't pay taxes, and would therefore be unaffected by these new regulations. Logically, they shouldn't be allowed to attend school, but education people are generally compassionate, and don't want to keep people from learning. And yes, I meant to say aliens.

Rant over.

We bought Lincoln a little basketball hoop, and he plays with it nonstop. Amazing how he knows what he's supposed to do with the thing.

That will be all, it's time for me to clean the house, Lincoln can sure mess things up quickly.

Happy Easter

2007-04-09T08:49:00.000-06:00

Easter means a few things, and one of them is Cadbury Eggs. Has anyone noticed them getting smaller? Watch this:

Cadbury probably spins it like: Our eggs now have 10% less fat, sugar, carbs...

The man

Real Estate Bubs

2007-04-07T11:19:00.000-06:00

I ran across a video that matches a roller coaster to the last 120 years or so of home values adjusted for inflation. Notice the last 20 years or so just goes straight up.

The link below is where you go if the embedded video doesn't work:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2757699799528285056

I have started reading a book called "The two income trap". So far it has been quite interesting. The authors debunk the myth that people today go bankrupt because of overconsumption. That is what the creditors want us to believe. In almost every aspect of life, average people today spend less on just about everything. The one thing they spend more on... way more... is a home.

The reason for this is the unintended consequence of women entering the workforce in huge numbers. That has given families more money to bid up housing. Housing is the one thing that has gone up, because families want thier children to be safe and go to good schools. In most areas, when adjusted for inflation, housing is three times more than it was a generation ago. In 1975, the government forced mortgage companies to count a womens income. Sounds like a good thing, but that gave families more money to bid up desireable housing. Now, even though families earn more, adjusted for inflation, they actually have less after the house is taken care of.

This is the reason most women have to work, and when disaster strikes, since both incomes were being used to buy and maintain a house, there is no safety net. That is the reason we see more bankrupt families.

We are trying to get ourselves down to one income, and it has been awful. We don't have unnecesarry things, and we just can't seem to make ends meet. More than half of my paycheck goes to pay the mortgage, and this is with a house that we only had to pay half price for. You would think that someone who has a master's degree (almost) would easily make money for his household, but it isn't true, especially if that person goes into teaching. This is the main reason that I see myself going into administration, because it is my job to earn enough for my family, so my wife can stay home and raise some good kids, and so we can save enough to not rely on government programs (social security) when I'm too old to work.

My wife is a very skilled person, and can earn our family alot of money if she needs to, but we have decided that it is better for her to stay home, because she wants to be with the kids, and we know it is the right thing to do.

I don't want to come off as bitter, because I wouldn't trade my life, my wife, or my kid(s) for anything. I feel like I put off kids too long because of money, and I'm glad that we decided to just take the plunge, even though we knew it was going to be rough. I'm also glad I went into teaching, because that is what I like to do, and it is much easier to deal with 14 and 15 year olds when it is something that you like to do, and you are good at it. If only they'd get my jokes, they'd realize how funny I am.

It's just nice to know what the problem is, so we at least know what we're dealing with. We've made a goal to start a Roth IRA by December, and I think all young couples out there should make the same goal, because short of Lincoln playing a professional sport, I don't see anyone taking care of me when I'm older.

Thank you Democrats for shooting down social security reform, even though you claim to look out for the working class. It is quite obvious that you only care about foiling George W. Bush, and getting God out of our society. Keep up the "good" work. Not that I think the government should take care of me, but right now, I give social security 7.5% of my paycheck, and my employer matches that amount instead of giving it to me. Since I am paying all this money into the broken system, it would be nice to see a payoff. I'd rather just get the 15% and fend for myself.

By the way, the number one predictor of going bankrupt now is if you have children. I think that is a sad commentary on where our society has placed it's priorities.

Lincoln update

2007-04-05T15:40:00.000-06:00

Readers of this blog have probably noticed that I don't talk about Lincoln nearly as much as Christen talks about Skye. This is not because I don't have anything to say about him, or that he doesn't so funny things all the time, but that we're afraid that some sicko is going to get too much info about the boy. So...

if you are a sicko, I have a few things to tell you. You are niether funny nor cool. Seriously. Stop tormenting our children, and stop reading this blog because you are surely violating your paroll. Wait until I tell your PO, you're going to be going back to jail. Now go away.

Now that is taken care of, I thought I'd update everyone on Lincoln's vocabulary/activities.

Words he says:

Mama
Dada

Words he has said before, but not for a while:

Airplane
Kitty

Words he signs:

hat
drink
eat
more
milk
diaper
fan
moon
airplane
pray
cheese
water

Body parts he can point to

hair
ears
nose
eyes
mouth
belly button
foot/toes
knees
elbows

Animals he imitates:

cow (vooo)
cat (a high pitched whiney sound)
horse (hee hee)
dog (ooof)

Other words he knows:

Shoes
toys
TV
computer
car
carseat
Elmo
mouse (computer)
chocolate milk (oops)
jacket

Favorite activites:

1 - Playing with any kind of ball
2- climbing on things
3- tearing apart well ordered stuff
4- running
5- playing with toys
6- being dragged around in a box

That is all

The boy will play basketball

2007-04-02T17:40:00.000-06:00

So we had our faculty basketball game against the 9th grade team again this year. Needless to say, the Bubs did not disappoint. The Bubs rained down 3's on those poor 9th graders. We were up by 13 at half, and got up by 21 before coasting to a 13 point win. Of course, much trash talking was done by the boys basketball team that was not backed up. The Bubs, as usual, remained humble throughout. The Bubs also refrained from betting on the outcome of the game, or the Bubs's point total.

In other news, Lincoln learned how to dribble a ball yesterday. That checks off another item on my checklist to developing a good basketball player. Below is the list, along with the date the item was completed if applicable.

1. Have a tall baby. Oct 2005
2. Get baby used to balls. May 2006
3. Take baby to basketball games. Jan 2006
4. Teach baby how to throw. Aug 2006
5. Teach baby how to dribble. April 2007
6. Buy a basketball hoop for baby.
7. Teach boy how to aim.
8. Teach boy how to jump better than daddy.
9. Buy an adjustable basketball hoop
10. Teach boy how to pass
11. Teach boy how to shoot.
12. Teach boy how to post up.
13. Teach boy how to execute a pick and roll.
14. Teach boy how to rebound.
15. Teach boy how to swing elbows in traffic without getting a foul.
16. Practice game situations with the boy.
17. Teach boy how to move feet on defense.
18. Teach boy how to talk on defense.
19. Teach boy how to set a proper screen.
20. Teach boy how to dive on the floor all the time, thus giving observers the appearance of hustle.

Throughout the process, it is important to remember, that the boy was put on the earth to make tons of money for his parents, so they can live the rest of thier lives in utter slothery.

Sorry about the inconsistant periods throughout. Props to you guys for not pointing it out.

I'd also like to mention that Lincoln is starting to go to the bathroom on the toilet. He's only 17 months old, and while I'm not holding out much hope that diapers will soon be a thing of the past, it has to be a good sign.

Wally

Tourney time bubs

2007-03-07T17:14:00.000-07:00

Now is your time to prove that you are smarter than me. I created an online place to predict the NCAA tournament. Anyone is free to join as long as they are not a nerd. You need a free Yahoo ID to play. Here's the site: http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/men

The group number is 25428

The password is platypi

The group name is Treebeard

The winner gets an all expense paid* trip to see the bubs (*does not include expenses). Some have already signed up... Brett, how on earth did Rachel sign up like two days ago, and you still haven't. I think somebody's scared of getting shown up. That's what I think.

Here are my predictions for the Mountain West Conference Tournament.

I jinxed BYU by picking them to win it last year, so I'll go with the home team. I would like to see a team that doesn't wear red win one somewhere along the line. Mountain West teams need to get more creative with thier colors instead of copying each other.

Other notes of interest... I found a bag of circus peanuts downstairs in Natalie's room. Needless to say, they'll be gone soon.

Bubba

Dessert Bubs

2007-03-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

I hope I spelled the title right. No worries, some one will let me know if I spelt it wrong. I ran across this video today. Thought it was funny/clever

We had an ice cream party for all students on our team of 120 kids who passed all four team classes. (Team classes consist of Math, English, Science, and History)

Of our 120 students we have in common, only 25 were able to attend the ice cream party. While the other teachers were compaining about how only 25 were able to make it to the party, I was wondering if there's a better dessert in the world than ice cream. The conclusion I reached was no. Any dessert that I was thinking was better had ice cream already in it as it's main ingredient. Therefore, ice cream is the best dessert in the world.

So beside ice cream and ice cream related desserts, here's a list of the best desserts out there.

14-Frosty From Wendy's (I don't think it's made of ice cream)
13-Strawberry Shortcake
12-Chocolate Cinnamon Bears
11-Cinnamon Toast
10-Apple Pie
9-Pudding
8-Banana Cream Pie
7-Chocolate Chip Cookies
6-Chocolate dipped fruit (strawberries, bananas etc.)
5-Carmel Apples
4-Chocolate Cake
3-Cheesecake
2-Fudge
1-S'mores

I'd have to say that I was surprised how low on the list Apple Pie was, but it makes sense when you remember that ice cream can't be involved.

I think if there were a list of worst desserts, it would be led off by Rhubarb Pie. Not a big fan of the Rhubarb... of course I only tried it once when I was 7, but those memories can be a powerful thing.

I'm hungry

No name

Cat 1, Link 0

2007-02-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

I am starting a list of my favorite games, those links are below. I don't really play games alot on the computer, but I am a teacher that catches kids playing games on computers when they should be doing their work. Before I force them to log out, I take note if it's a good game or not. The most popular game of late is a game called 'Kitty Cannon' which has you launch a cat through a series of traps. The end of the story is you end up with this mangled cat which the Jr. High kids think is cool, but The Bubs frowns upon.

The good news is we haven't had to purchase a car for a whole month. I should replace my throwup counter with that.

Ange took the boy to a jewlery party. Not because she does those kinds of parties, but her sister was hard up for some people to show. Lincoln decided to 'play' with the cat. He chased the poor cat around for nearly an hour. Toward the end, he gave the cat 'loves' and the cat responded by giving him these huge gouge marks on the top of his head, and the back of his neck. Needless to say, Link needs to not play with animals that have claws. One of his scratch marks looks infected... hopefully we don't end up in the hospital.

Also, I won this golf trip to St. George. I am taking Ange and John. Finally I get to pay John back for that Jazz game he took me to 10 years ago. John had already called a collection company, but lo, the debt will be paid. We get to play at some championship golf course which means I'll get to swing it quite a bit.

Parent Teacher Conferences next week, two days of talking to parents, one day off.

The end

...but suddenly a new contender has emerged.

2007-02-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have been sick for the last few days. I toughed it out at school for two days so I wouldn't have to use the ever precious sick leave. It was difficult for the following reasons.

The faculty bathroom is a long walk away.
The bathroom close by is disgusting.
It is frustrating enough trying to teach systems of equations.
I had to miss Fish Sandwich Friday in the cafeteria due to me not wanting to eat anything.

The good news is I found out the front office has ginormous bottles of Advil, Tylenol and Tums. I guess they go through the Tums bottle once a week. I think it's Tums's fault for making the pills taste too much like candy.

Since I have been sick, I have just laid around for most of the weekend to date. I was going to see if Steve and Sharon needed help with their cabin, but I figured that they wouldn't consider me getting them sick helping.

I was feeling a little better today, so we decided to take a Sunday drive up one of the local canyons. We had a nice drive up Big Cottonwood, turned around and almost witnessed a rollover. I haven't ever really wanted to witness a rollover. As we rounded this one corner, there was a SUV on it's side with this guy barely crawing out the top door. Amazingly, the police were already there, so we didn't feel the need to stop.

We got toward the bottom of the canyon, and Ange wanted Lincoln to be able to stretch his legs a little. So we pulled off at this picnic area. It should be noted that Ange was the driver, and the Bubs was under the impression that Ange was going to pull into the parking space that was clear of snow and ice, and not proceed to the icy slope below. Ange had her eye on the bathroom because she apparently had to 'go'.

So we got stuck in the bottom of this picnic area. Our minivan was backed up against a dumpster and the back tires were on solid ground. This did us no good, because our minivan has front wheel drive, and those tires were on a thick sheet of ice. I'm sitting there thinking I'm a bigger idiot than the lady that shouted 'you're all winners'.

First we tried stuffing spare wood underneath tires. That was a no go. Then I put a huge piece of plastic that used to cover the dumpster under one of the tires. That didn't work either. Seemingly out of options, I tried to call someone. No service. After a long hike, still no service. I went back thinking I was going to have to hike down the canyon, call someone, and then be embarrased by the situation we were in.

Then I started thinking I wish I had some salt to melt the ice. That made me think about how they don't use salt in Idaho, but sand. Then I looked across the river and saw sand. I found a bucket, and this little play shovel Lincoln has. I was able to dig up a few bucketfulls of frozen sand and sprinkle them under the tires. Then I pushed the minivan and told Ange to hit it. To my amazement, the van got unstuck, and we were saved.

The moral of the story: I am a genius while simultaneously being an idiot.

Can'tstandya

Ohhh the poopsmith he would talk...

2007-02-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Close to March Madness time. I, of course, have wasted countless hours trying to figure out if BYU is in or not. There is a pretty cool story of a bunch of writers doing the mock draft on ESPN.com. It mentions BYU a few times. Here is thier mock bracket.

So we were eating at Sweet Tomatoes today, which has turned into Ange's favorite restaurant, and is the one thing she seems to crave all the time.

Lincoln eats for free, and takes the place for all it's worth. He ate so much his belly was sticking out. I decided I'd get him down fromt he high chair when I smelt it...

So while Ange was finishing up, I took him out to the minivan to see about changing his diaper. I gave him a little time to finish up since he was grunting. By then, Ange had gotten there. I laid him down on the bench and opened up the diaper. Because his little bum was hanging over the edge of the bench, when I took the diaper off, there was no support from below. The diaper became rapidly unbalanced, and a huge 'Lincoln Log' started sliding off the diaper toward the floor of the van.

At this point, I had a decision to make. Do I let it splat on the floor, or do I be a hero and catch it?

I decided to save the day. A sickening sound announced the arrival of the load. I was not sure what I should do, so I just held on for dear life until the diaper was able once again to recieve the item in question. My hand cleans much easier than van carpets, so I think I made the correct decision.

Amazingly, while all this is going on, there is a guy waiting to park in the stall next to us. After I'm done with all my antics, he still decides to park there. Apparently we had it enough under control that he figured the risk of collateral damage to be minimal.

That will be all for now.

Strong Sad

It's about time Bubs

2007-02-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to change over to the Beta version of Blogger, but I got tired of being pestered, so here I am. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now.

Link can now run. His favorite game is to be chased around. He has two 'safe' spots. The couch in the living room, and the mattress we have for him on his bedroom floor to try to teach him to sleep in a big boy bed. I frequently violate the safe spot rule... I hope Lincoln doesn't resent me for it.

In the spirite of the Blog of the Bubs, here is a list of thing Link will point at if asked:

10- the door
9 - The bathtub
8- Cheese
7- Sleepy Time Bear
6- The ball
5- The flag
4- The ducky
3- Lincoln
2- Mommy
1 - The light

His second favorite game is to put things in other things. His liking of this game has caused the need to sift through the garbage before throwing it out. I also have to check my shoes before putting them on.

In other news, we found out we are going to have a girl. At the risk of casting pearls before swine, we have decide we'll name her Ella. Needless to say, her middle name will not be Emma. Ella is the name of my great great grandma -- a story to be told to anyone who is interested. Ange is excited, because she always wanted to call her girl Ellie, but didn't want to name her Elenor.

In other news, I went to the BYU Air Force game, and it dominated. Now hopefully they don't lose today.

Bubba

One year old

2007-01-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

So my blog is 1 year old today, that's not impressive at all.

What is impressive is the luck I have with cars. 1 week after purchasing our minivan, the other car we had lost it's engine. That makes two engine failures in the space of 3 months. Going back to last year, the tally is 3 bad engines in 16 months. So we are once again stuck with only one car, but two different places to go every day.

My solution is to have my students come to my house, it seems much easier that way, but since the Granite School District doesn't like that idea, I'm forced to buy yet another car. We have our eyes on a Ford Escort with low miles that seems (relatively) cheap.

In honor of my first year blogging, I will now do a repeat post of the order I want teams in the playoffs to win the Superbowl.

12 - New England
11 - Dallas
10 - New York Giants
9 - Kansas City
8 - Baltimore
7 - New York Jets
6 - Chicago
5 - Seattle
4 - Philly
3 - San Diego
2 - New Orleans
1 - Indianapolis

Based on last years blog of the bubs report, that would mean New England and Dallas would play in the Superbowl which would be craptastic.

I think a New Orleans/Indy superbowl is in everyone's best interest.

I think it also goes without saying that it was nice that Denver didn't make it. It was pretty lame that one of thier cornerbacks got murdered because they didn't make it. Just further proof that football fans are starting to act like soccer fans. Just keep the urine bombs in the stands fellas.

Baggio

Sellin' out Bubs

2006-12-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

There are two reasons for the title of this post. First of all, we have now officially joined the ranks of the 'people who drive bigger cars than regular cars'.

We bought ourselves a 2002 Toyota Sienna.

This is not our exact car, ours is another color that I am keeping secret, because needless to say, there are those who would like to plan an assassination to silence the voice of the Blog of the Bubs.

Now that we have a way to get up to Idaho, we are hoping to be there until the 28th, if any of my family can hang with that new schedule. Matt, you'd better believe I'm talking to you. We now got room for you, so that excuse is no longer valid. Who's ever heard of a trip to Idaho from the 25th to the 27th. You might as well not go since snow covered roads could slow your trip down enough that you'd get to spend a whopping 20 hours total.

The other way the Blog o' the Bubs is selling out is I'm going to take a page from the MCMillburn blog, and give some pub to a company. No, not Mr. Clean, but rather Nate Wade Subaru, who treated us better than any other dealer we've ever gone through.

Now that the selling out is done, I should mention that Lincoln has started trying to run. I give him 5 months to be faster than me. Maybe he'll pinch run for me in Platypi games.

The Grinch

Torturer Bubs

2006-12-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, I like to torture people.

The best people to torture are those with no sense of humor, so the whole time they're way mad at you, and you're laughing, whilst trying to appear serious.

The best people to torture are 13-15 year olds, mostly because they don't have a sense of humor, and they give some pretty good reactions.

Examples of torture I have inflicted on 13-15 year olds:

When asked if I just got a hair cut, I explain how I got a 'hairs' cut, because only a moron would go to the barber and pay to have one hair cut.
Ask them a difficult question in order to go to the bathroom
After return from the bathroom, exclaim that I didn't know it was 'take forever day' (credit to Matt)
Choose a random girl, and tell her that I didn't know it was 'crazy hair day' today
Repeatedly say 'Don't hate the player, hate the game.'
'Practice' walking in the hallway when kids are noisy
After kid is irritated, say 'up high' and hold your hand in the air. When they don't give you five, lower hand and say 'down low' kid still glares, then suddenly yank hand away and say 'too slow'
Tell those with noserings or liprings that they have food on thier face that they should wipe off
When asked what we're doing today, say 'The same thing we do every other day... try to take over the world'

I bring this up because I found a new torture method.

When a kid asks a question, I just say 'I told you once', then try to get into an argument if I told them or not. This stems from a pretty funny Monty Python Skit I've heard several times, and have inserted below:

Seeing the frustration makes what I do well worth it, and isn't that what it's all about?

I am always open to more torture methods.

Cindy Lou who

The first round...

2006-12-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Lincoln has been walking all over the place. He's been taking steps for two months, but now walking is his preferred mode of transport. He can stand up without any help, and can bend down an pick things up. He is also obsessed with the letter 'v', he knows how to make the sound and everything, and if you ask him what a cow says, he'll go 'voooooo'.

Plus, it seems the two weeks straight of massive blowouts are over for now. I'm getting tired of giving him a bath everytime he has a messy diaper. Then there's the laundry...

This was a pretty good week of college football. For those of you who missed it, I'll recap.

Ohio State vs Troy at Ohio State. This was closer than expected at the start, but then OSU pulled away in front of thier home crowd. 45 - 17.

Wisconsin used a slight homefield advantage since the game was played at Ohio State to surprize LSU, who could never get going. Just like thier loss at Auburn, they never got into the endzone, while Wisconsin showed that the Big 10 was probably the best conference this year. 24 - 9

Ohio State will play Wisconsin at the Orange Bowl in Miami next week

USC vs. Notre Dame This game had the same result as a few weeks ago. USC avenged thier loss to UCLA by stomping on the Irish in So. Cal. again. 34 - 14

Boise St. vs. Oklahoma. In a game to be played for real Jan. 1, Boise State finally showed they belong by beating an Oklahoma team that should have finished with a better record. Boise State scored with 3:22 left to take a 31 - 27 win

Boise State and USC willplay next week in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl.

Florida beat Cent. Michigan at Florida 55 - 31. The game wasn't really that close, but true to form, Florida allowed a bit of a second half comeback.

Louisville used a high powered offense to beat a Wake Forest team that needs to find a main running back. It was still a game in the 4th but then Louisville pulled away... 35 - 20

Louisville will play Florida at the Fiesta bowl next week.

Michigan destroyed Houston at home 42 - 10. The game was a shutout until midway through the 4th quarter when Houston's defense set up the offense with an interception that went to the 5 yard line.

BYU beat Arkansas (of course) in Ann Arobor. John Beck threw for 3 TD's and ran the game winner in on a quarterback sneak with 4:51 left in the game. 38-35

BYU will play Michigan in the Rose Bowl next week.

IF The Bubs were in charge

2006-12-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today is Brett's birthday. (Quick check of the calender to make sure it's the 3rd) Happy birthday Brett. Brett is now 31... I was going to make a list of 31 reasons why I'm awesome, but clearly, there are way may than 31, and I wouldn't do myself justice.

So instead for Brett's birthday, I'm going to unveil my college football brackets.

All Div 1 conferences get an automatic invite. If you can't win your conference, then you're not guarenteed of playing for the championship. I didn't punish teams for losing in thier conference championship, I think that's unfair. The top 4 seeded teams host 2 games of the first round. After that, games are played at neutral sites. The championship this year is at the old Fiesta Bowl site in Arizona. Games start on Dec. 9th, and go once a week on Saturdays. The championship game is played on New Years Day. Here's the breakdown:

ACC 1 team, Big East 1 team, Big 10 3 teams, Big 12 1 team, Conference USA 1 team, Mid American 1 team, Mountain West 1 team, Pacific 10 1 team, SEC 3 teams, Sun Belt 1 team, WAC 1 team, Independents 1 team.

Any reasonable human would agree with me on this. The games start this Saturday, Dec. 9th. This is always one of my favorite weekends, because I can sit back and watch 8 competitive college football games... I wonder who the Cinderella team will be this year?

How many points can you score in 3.2 seconds?

2006-11-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

BYU can score six, and that was the difference.

That play is only second to this one:

The following is a list of how the refs almost blew it:

1. The fake punt that turned the game around. Officials let a clipping penalty go.
2. Utah runs into the kicker, wipes him out... no call.
3. Overturning a BYU touchdown, when 'conclisive' eidence was not there.

I need to make this list to remind Ute fans that BYU got some bad calls, much worse than the so called 'bad' pass interference calls Utah got called for.

And now I celebrate.

Argue with the drunks Bubs

2006-11-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, but I'm back, but then I'll probably not post for a while again.

My school sent me to Nashville for a middle school convention. I spent one day throwing up in my room... seems like I could have done that at home. I threw up four times, and I'm going to try to find a count up device to put on my blog, so I know exactly how long it's been since I threw up. It took me a couple weeks to get over whatever that was I had in Nashville. I stayed in a hotel near the Grand Ole Opry, and it was quite nice, so at least I had a nice hotel to throw up in.

Turns out that middle school teachers get drunk... probably some sort of defense mechanism. I had this way sweet argument with this drunk guy. I said that The Office had the best theme song on TV.

He disagreed, he said the best theme song on TV was when the models walk out on deal or no deal.

I couldn't find the music, so you're going to have to trust me that I'm right. It was the coolest argument ever, except that one time when a drunk guy threw a mango at me in Venezuela.

After the conference, I hopped on a Greyhound bus headed to Birmingham, Alabama, where Mike aka. Pirate Joe picked me up. I stayed at his and Steph's house, where our boy was throwing up non stop.

Then on the flight home, Ange threw up five times.

Things I learned on this trip
1. Riding that train in the Denver airport is fun.
2. Sitting in a bar drinking only water increases your chances of an argument with someone who is drunk.
3. Baked beans are even more gross when making the return trip from your stomach.
4. Nashville only has country music and NASCAR on television
5. I will only take Greyhound out of desperation
6. A ticket does not guarentee a ride on Greyhound... for that, you must wait in line for 2 hours.
7. Baby food counts as a 'liquid' when going through security at the airport.

In conclusion, a good title for a book about our trip would be "A Guide to Ralphing in Different Parts of the Country".

Don't forget to vote about the best TV theme song.

Tigers fan Bubs

2006-10-08T10:05:00.000-06:00

Looks like theTigers are the coolest team left, going to have to turn into Brett.

It also looks like Jim Leyland made a pretty good decision between his fourth and fifth pack of cigs. last Sunday. Lose to KC on purpose to draw an easier team. They made the Yankees look like the Platypi.

In other news, I only have to go to school for 3 days this week. Why? Because the UEA has it's convention this week. This is the only good thing the union does for me... allow time off in early fall. Luckily, they aren't taking any of my hard earned money. I'll let them use others' money to pretend like they're working hard for us teachers.

In conclusion, I almost contributed $20 per mile to a walkathon type thing... like the boss on The Office did. Luckily, I caught myself.

Andy VanSlyke

Baseball Bubs

2006-10-02T15:42:00.000-06:00

Chad, you'll be happy to know that I donated your cheestick to Lincoln.

We had a fondue party yesterday with Ange's family. The best part was when Ange tricked her sister's husband into eating a jalapeno, and he about died. Strange, since he has an hispanic last name. The worst part was when I ate a jalapeno of my own free will and about died.

I'm getting in baseball predictions before any games are played:

Twins vs. A's - Twins win 3-1
Tigers vs. Yankees - I hate to say, but Detroit loses 3-1. Yankees have played much better down the stretch. I hope I'm wrong.
Padres vs. St. Louis - Padres 3-1. I've never seen a team back into the playoffs (beep, beep, beep?) like St. Louis, and it seems like the Padres never lose.
Dodgers vs. Mets - Dodgers will be lucky to get one game, but I'll give it to them. Mets win 3-1. Best team in the NL, but hopefully the Dodgers can take them out.

Twins vs. Yankees - If any of the playoff teams can beat the Yanks, I hope it's the Twins, they finished just one game behind in a tougher division. Twins win 4-3
Padres vs. Mets - I just don't see the Mets losing, barring a huge injury. Mets win 4-2

Mets vs. Twins - Give it to the Twins... I think the AL is much better this year, and they have homefield... once again. Twins win 4-3

I think we can all agree on one thing... that New York vs. New York in the world series would be a terrible thing. Let's hope it doesn't happen, and let's hope the world series isn't a sweep for the 3rd year in a row.

Who won last year's series? I've already forgotton.

Go Dodgers

Nomar

Far Side Bubs

2006-09-29T13:35:00.000-06:00

There is a good reason why I haven't posted for a while, but I haven't figured out why yet. For the first comment on this post -- the most loyal to the blog of the bubs -- I have a cheese stick. That's right, a cheese stick made from pure 100% mozzerella.

Top Farsides

Remind me on all the ones I missed, please.

14. Wait, cancel that, I guess it says 'helf'.
13. The embarassment of riding off into a fake sunset
12. Hey, what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank.
11. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct.
10. Just eat it, number 1, chicken soup is good for the flu, and number 2, it's nobody we know.
9. If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings
8. The boss wants his money, see, or next time won't only be your furniture we rearrange.
7. Here Fifi, faster Fifi.
6. Murray didn't feel the first pangs of real panic, until he pulled the emergency cord.
5. The 4 personality types: (A half full glass of water sits on a table. 1st personality 'The glass is half full'. 2nd personality 'The glass is half empty'. 3rd personality 'The glass is half full, no half empty, wait, half full....'. 4th personality 'Hey, I ordered a cheeseburger!'
4. That does it, I'm going to steer. (Goofy looking guy has run his horse into the only cactus for miles.)
3. Hey Sid, remember that time last summer, we were all gathered 'round the kill like this, and Ernie told a joke, and an antler came out your nose?
2. I thought you might try escaping, so I took the liberty of removing your horses brain.
1. Roy inadvertantly dooms the earth to annihilation when, in an attempt to be friendly, he siezes the leader by the head and shakes vigorously.

Platypi season was pretty bad for fall this year, we notched our first losing record ever. Needless to say, it will help having Brett play on our team next summer.

I did hit my first ever homerun.

And it was a grandslam

But as usual, when I do good, my team does crappy, and when I do crappy, my team does good. I should just try to play crappy all the time.

Platypus #42

Vacationing Bubs

2006-08-14T10:46:00.000-06:00

We are now back from our 10 day trip to Idaho. It was a pretty good vacation for the following reasons:

We were doing something in water for 5 out of 10 days.
We got to do things we normally don't get to do.
We were well fed at minimal expense. (Yes, I'm a mooch.)
Lincoln not only learned how to crawl on hands and knees well, but also learned how to climb stairs, and climb a crib.
The Dodgers won 8 of 9 games.

Day 1:

We got to Steve and Sharon's cabin by 1:00. They took us down the Snake. Both Clark and Derrick fell out at Kahuna.

Day 2:

We went down the Snake twice more. Clark, Steve and Lauren all fell out of Kahuna, making Matt, and Sharon the only members of the Parry family that didn't fall out, and Clark the only 2 timer.

Day 3:

Sunday, we headed back to Idaho Falls to visit with Grandma and Grandpa, we stayed at John and Renee's house.

Day 4:

Spent the day in Idaho Falls, went and fed the geese on the side of the river.

Day 5:

Went wakeboarding with the Fullers, I of course couldn't get up despite trying about 20 times. Ange got up right away. We cleaned up, and headed out to Island Park to Angela's Aunt Teresa's Cabin.

Day 6:

Went to Big Springs and West Yellowstone.

Day 7:

Went out on Island Park Reservoir for most of the day. Me and Ange were still too sore to try anything from our previous boating trip. When we got back, genius bubs made some pretty sweet dutch oven cobbler. Not so genius bubs took forever to cook the dutch oven turkey.

Day 8:

Ange and I woke up early to go see Mesa Falls, we spent some time there, and then hung out at the cabin for a while. Then we decided to take a huge group of people, and float down the Henry Fork of the Snake. We got let off a few miles up the river, which was a bad idea because the river is slow, and the wind was blowing upstream. When it became obvious that we weren't going to get back to the cabin ever, me and Jordan Miller pulled the rest of the rafts down the river. Everyone was miserable by the end of the trip because the water was cold and it was windy. Lincoln enjoyed the first half hour, but then got fussy. Luckily, he slept the last hour of the float. Smores at the end of the day made up for the debacle.

Day 9:

We went to Yellowstone and saw Upper and Lower Falls, The Mud Volcano, Isa Lake, and Old Faithful. We headed out through West Yellowstone, and tried a Buffalo Burger. I'd have to say I was dissapointed. Mike Fronk made us Buffalo meat one time and it was delicious. This stuff was just like a hamburger, but drier.

Day 10:

We packed up and came back home.

Home Improvement Bubs

2006-08-12T21:25:00.000-06:00

I am on vacation right now, longest vacation ever, but it has been fun. Pictures of fun parts to come later, I will not post pictures of the boring parts.

I have been at a cabin by Island Park Idaho the last few days. The cabin has a bathroom that has a window in the shower with a nice view of the river. I got to thinking about how I am a big fan of windows with a nice view in the shower. It was debateable if this window was set to low or not, but I thought I'd like a window with a nice view in the shower of my dream bathroom. Here are some other things I'd like to see in my dream bathroom.

Multi tiered bathtub with a waterfall
Toilet with the flush of a jet engine
Self defogging mirror (Squigee optional)
Two seperate sinks and mirrors
Towel warming rack (Heated tile floor would be nice)
Shower with a steam room option
Walk in closet
Jetted tub
Laundry chute
Seat availability in the shower
Built in TV that can be seen from the bathtub and the toilet

I'm sure there are more options out there that I'm not aware of, I will consider them as I learn more about bathrooms.

Bear Lake Monster

Tells the future whilst eating Whoppers Bubs

2006-08-03T18:41:00.000-06:00

Formalities first, we went to Kiddie Kandids to get 9 moth old pictures of the boy.

The rest can be seen at:

http://mystudio.kiddiekandids.com/viewshare.asp?c=005231342GDFCSRQQ

I would like to mention that some of the Whoppers I'm eating are a bit chewy, that can't be a good sign, but I carry on.

Chase Utley just extended his hit streak to 35

Sticking with the baseball theme, I will now project this year's playoffs.

First the Senior Circut

Mets vs. San Diego: Mets win 3-2

St. Louis vs. Los Angeles: St. Louis wins 3-1

Mets vs. St. Louis: St. Louis wins 4-2

Now the AL

Detroit vs. Los Angeles: Detrios wins 3-2

Minnesota vs. Boston: Minnesota wins 3-1

Detroit vs. Minnesota: Detroit wins 4-2

World Series:

St. Louis vs. Detroit: St. Louis wins 4-3

That game 7 is going to be hard to win in Detroit.

Other Considerations:

I would have put Toronto in 5 days ago, but they didn't do their usual damage against the Yankees. I think Boston has more firepower than the Yanks, but it would be nice to see Toronto step it up.

I wouldn't have put the Dodgers in 5 days ago, but trades and a recent win streak have given me hope.

I think the Angels have the best team in the West, and will eventually overtake the A's

I think Chicago's recent struggles will continue, and they'll be overtaken by the Twinks. Sorry Matt, but your Manager has some serious issues.

I believe that is all I have to say about that. I think these Whoppers have gone to me head.

Jimmy the Bubs

Out of ideas Bubs

2006-07-18T23:55:00.000-06:00

So I don't want to get chewed out by Matt aka The Post Nazi, for not doing a post in a while, but I don't have anything really to say, so enjoy this picture I ripped off an email.

In other news, I have inserted a "toss o' meter" just below the geocaching counter. I would do a fancy one, but I don't know how, maybe Pirate Joe can let me in on all his big secrets. The "toss o' meter" simply counts the number of softball players I've had to eject from games this season. I'm thinking I should write down why they got tossed and put it on my website.

In other news, Link had a huge blowout today while we were out and about. Let's just say that apparently he didn't chew one of the peas Ange gave him, because it came out whole, and covered with...

...anyway, the Platypi page should be updated with todays game info in short order.

The Cheat

Birthday Bubs

2006-07-11T11:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my birthday. That's right, I'm now 34. I feel sorry for all those who still have to be 33. As birthdays go, mine wasn't so hot. I had to go to the dentist in the morning, where he worked on my teeth for two and a half hours. My jaw hurt the whole day, because I can't ever open my mouth wide enough, so they have to stick that wedge in there, which isn't very cool.

Then I had to umpire 5 softball games. It was alright, the teams were actually pretty nice, and it was coed. The scorekeeper kept announcing to everyone that it was my birthday, and one game, I wouldn't allow batters in the batters box until they wished me happy birthday. That's the kind of respect you command when you are 34.

The following is a list of worse ways I could have spend my birthday

Updating my blog
Helping Mike move into his new place in Virginia
Watching the Dodgers lose
Watching the world cup finals
Sitting two hours in a dentist's chair with my mouth agape while watching the world cup
Teaching 8th graders
Getting fingernails pulled out one by one
Watching the Tour de France
Living in France
Living in Oklahoma
Sinking my teeth in to a yummy chocolate cake only to find out it is German Chocolate Cake
Eating a coffee flavored Jelly Belly

As it turns out, I feel much cooler being 34, I noticed the difference overnight. That's all I have to say about that.

Forrest

Camping disaster Bubs

2006-06-27T13:19:00.000-06:00

Following up on Matt's comment from my last post, I will prove that soccer causes riots via a simpsons episode.

So the Bubs, having the summer off can do things like go camping on weekdays, while the rest of the world is slaving away at thier unfulfilling jobs.

We reserved a campground a few weeks ago, and thus begins the tale.

A few mistakes were made on this camping trip.

Mistake #1 I thought I had reserved a campground in American Fork Canyon, turns out I accidently reserved one by Strawberry Resivour. Here's a visual.

The red car is where I thought we were going... the green car is where we were actually going.

Not bad, I was only off by 40.2 miles. I included our house and dad's house as reference points.

Mistake #2

Taking the baby... this was compounded by Mistake #1. When we got there, I asked the guy if it got cold. He said it was 36 degrees the night before. Our tent is built to be cool in the summer, it isn't necesarily a winter tent. Apparently we lucked out, because it was only 38 degrees. Nevertheless, Lincoln was awake at 3 am with a soaking diaper, and it was so cold. We eventually got in the car, and drove around for 3 hours with the heater on.

On the positive side, we did get to see Duchesne.
This was our campsite.
40 degrees 07.379 North, 111 degrees 02.203 degrees West. 7,715 feet in elevation.

Mistake #3

My sleeping bag is broken, and so I just brought some blankets. Again, I didn't know how cold this place was. I think we're going to have to restrict our tent to 7,500 feet or below.

Mistake #4

Didn't bring any firewood, matches, and even worse marshmellows, so when we were way cold in the morning, the car was the only way to go.

So those were the major bummer points of our little trip.

In good news, we did get to go geocaching.

We found our 8th ever geocache in a place called "Big Hollow" south of Heber. It was a pretty easy find, only about 70 feet off the trail, so Lincoln could come with us.

It had a nice view of the Heber Valley.

This is a picture of the geocache we found.

Our 9th ever cache was easy also, as long as you could find the right road to take. It was just west of Jordanelle, and it had all sorts of kid toys. You can see the cache in its hiding place in the picture to the right. It's the ammo box on the ground. You can also see Lincoln working on my hair.

I'll leave everyone with one more picture below, of the contents of this geocache, and some advice.

When you go camping, make sure you know where you're going, what the temperature will be, and bring along supplies.

Yes, those sunglasses Link's got on are from the cache. In other news, Lincoln is crawling around like crazy, and I just made an heroic save as he tried to go down the stairs. They should invent something that prevents babies from falling down stairs, or make a video game about babies falling down stairs.
In conclusion, Bubba now, Bubba now.

Soccer Hater Bubs

2006-06-23T18:00:00.000-06:00

It's not that I hate soccer above anything else. In fact, I gave it a chance -- ask my brothers. I was into the 1994 world cup, because I thought it would be cool, especially since I had just returned from Venezuela. Instead, it was a huge disappointment.

Here are some of the reasons why I hate soccer, as you will see, they are quite reasonable.

I could make the sport more enjoyable, and I know nothing about soccer

- Do away with offsides determined by defenders, and draw a line on the field, like hockey.
- Don't penalize a team based on how "injured" the other player looks.
- Put the actual time on the scoreboard instead of making it a huge mystery.

Most penalties don't affect the game much, but if the penalty happens to occur near the goal, it's a huge penalty. That is like awarding a layup attempt for a breakaway foul in basketball that's worth 25 points.

US will never win, because US athletes don't fake injuries.

Refs can change the game with thier bad calls more than just about any other sport, since a red card not only means an ejection, but the team now has to play a player short.

Draws

"Fans" just sing or blow whistles the whole time.

The team that plays the best wins only 30% of the time. I usually like to see the team that plays the best win. Notable exceptions include BYU, Utah Jazz, and Platypi

That's all my soccer hating for now, I'll let other add reasons as I'm sure I have forgotten a few reasons to hate soccer. The sad thing is I'm sure I'll be sucked into the world cup in 2010.

In other news, I found my first geocache the other day. Pictures of that find to come shortly, it was near Valley Park. Visit the geocaching link for more info.

Also, for those who are interested, I've updated a few videos on millburnland as well as some Platypi stuff. Big game next tuesday. Matt, you should check out the game summaries to make sure you know how the games went.

That is all.

Papa John

Umpire bubs

2006-06-13T07:53:00.000-06:00

It is a little known fact to all those who aren't part of the tight knit umpire community that the worst games to umpire are coed games. This is not because coed games are boring to watch, but because there is more whining and complaining in these games than most mens games. The theory goes than the men try to impress the women by constantly crying like a little baby. The logic may seemed flawed to most, but I think these men are thinking 'women like to take care of babies, so I'm going to act like a huge baby, then the woman will think I'm cool'. What they don't realize is that they are niether cute nor cuddly at the ripe old age of 45.

So I am umpiring this coed game yesterday. Here are some of my calls they disagreed with:

8- On a force play to second, the second baseman completely misses the ball. Entire team tells me it was on the transfer, and should be an out. 3rd baseman tries to explain to me what transfer is. I tell them that they need to have caught the ball first. 3rd baseman says he's not arguing, he's 'just trying to make me better'.

7- A hit down the line, right fielder dives for it, but the ball bounces, team gets mad at me because I didn't yell 'fair ball'. I tell them I'm not supposed to yell, they tell me I need to point, I tell them I did point, then they say 'how is the right fielder supposed to see that?'

6- Pitcher throws 3 straight balls about 6 feet deep. Then askes me if I'm calling the plate or the batter. I say 'you know what I'm calling, why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?'

5- Between innings, team chewed me out for getting a drink and 'delaying the game'. I get behind the plate, and notice they don't have a left fielder yet, the other team notices as well, and promptly hits a lazy fly ball to left field that nobody is there to catch. Team then gets mad at me for starting an inning without all thier players on the field.

4- Pitch hits the center of the plate, catcher claims it hit the 'black'

3- Pitcher asks me clean the plate, then the next pitch is inside, catcher claims that I covered the black on purpose whilst cleaning the plate.

2- Player looks at a perfect strike, and I ring her up, team claims that we are not playing fastpitch.

1- Batter takes off early to run down to first because of a percieved ball 3. The 'ball' was actually a strike, and I called it that way. He then claimed the call was 'horse (expletive deleted)'. Then he hits a double, but is still mad. After the game, he says again that the call was 'horse (expletive deleted)' at which point I observe that he has a limited vocabulary. As he continues to yell at me saying that my call was 'horse (expletive deleted)' I try to reason with him to no avail.

The above list does not include every single pitch that was not in thier favor.

Yes, I hate coed games

Player hater

Camping Bubs

2006-06-07T22:04:00.000-06:00

Number 1

I have updated my website, updates include the Platypi page where I have summarized the last few games, and a video page. On the video page, make sure you check out "Canadian Tax". Michael will like it because so many people get 'rung up', Pirate Joe will like the catchy song, Matt will like the political statement -- it works on so many levels.

Number 2

We are going camping right after Lagoon at that one camp spot next to Lagoon, if any one wants to camp out, we have plenty of room, and would love to have you -- unless your name is Osama Bin Laden.

Number 3

We bought a new tent, and set it up, here are the results in jpeg form.

Number 4

We went to the drive in the other night, and saw 'Over the Hedge' and 'Mission Impossible 3'. I thought 'Over the Hedge' was good, I can't tell you about Mission Impossible 3, because predictable, I fell asleep. Here is Ange and Link at the movies.

Number 5

I have a mini early anniversary treasure hunt for ange.

Start at the tree by where we set up the tent,

go 34 steps north

14 steps west

17 steps south

10 steps east

look for a plastic bag

what will it be, feel free to comment on your predictions, as for me, I'm predicting that it will be a banana cream pie.

Homestar

Think in over Bubs

2006-06-03T21:53:00.000-06:00

In the history of the world, there have been many poor decisions. Peter made one such decision the other day.

Everyone in the nieghborhood had been warned that the street was going to be repaved, and they would need to stay off for a certain amount of time.

Peter, upon seeing the road blocked, decided to drive past the baricades, via the neighbors grass, through the newly paved street, and into the driveway, blazing a tar trail for all to see.

Of course the cops figured out who the culprit was, and he is now in the hook for $2000, the cost of repaving the road.

Now that's a poor decision, but I don't want Peter to feel bad, so I'm going to list some decisions that were worse than Peter's to drive through fresh tar.

19 - Michael Jackson dangling his baby over a balconey
18 - Refs continually putting time on the clock until the Soviets finally beat the US Olympic Basketball team in Munich.
17 - Dan Rather running with made up stories about George Bush.
16 - Us moving to Tooele. Liked the house, the drive was a killer.
15 - Hitler turning on Russia.
14 - Pete Rose gambling on baseball, and so the only person to record 4,000 hits isn't in the hall of fame.
13 - Rebels attacking a fully functional Death Star in "Return of the Jedi".
12 - The White Sox throwing the 1919 World Series.
11 - Howard Dean's scream. I didn't know a single non fart noise could cost a guy so many votes.
10 - Jimmy Carter trying to spring hostages from Iran with a helicopter rescue.
9 - Tonya Harding hiring someone to club Nancy Kerrigan.
9a - Tonya Harding pleading with judges to let her redo her routine because her shoelace was untied.
9b - Judges going for it.
8 - Matt leaving opened can of rootbeer out all night.
8a - Matt drinking said rootbeer without checking for ants.
7 - Leaving Wild thing in to pitch to Joe Carter.
6 - Richie Phillips talking umpires in to handing in resignations. Quote from some league official "This is either a threat to be ignored, or an offer to be considered seriously."
5 - Marrying Lorena Bobbit.
4 - Yahoo turning down the chance to buy Google early on.
3 - Clinton turning down the chance to bag Osama/Usama Bin Laden before 9-11.
2 - Tony Larussa deciding to have Dennis Eckersly pitch to Kirk Gibson.
2a - All the Dodger fans that left early, you can see thier tailights in the background as the ball flies out of the yard.
1 - Nixon taping conversations in the Oval Office.

Who am I kidding, Peter should be number 1... sorry, I guess I couldn't help out.

In other news, school is out, and it's the Summer of the Bubs.

I'll probably spend it umpiring softball games. I should keep track of the number of times teams argue about an infield fly because it carried one foot onto the grass.

I'll set the over/under at 13.

But then I'd be gambling on softball, and never make the hall of fame.

Bubs "the blaster" Millburn.

En Memorium Bubs

2006-05-29T20:33:00.000-06:00

We took Lincoln up to Mom's grave today for memorial day, it was pretty crowded.

He's pretty happy when he's walking...

I can't believe it's been ten years since my mom died. I started thinking of all the things that have happened since then...

In the last ten years...

The earth has travelled 5.8 million miles.

The Red Sox have won the World Series

More amazingly, the White Sox have won the world Series

A juiced up Mark McGuire broke Roger Maris homerun record

A war has broken out

I have bought two houses

I worked at the prison

But more importantly...

Mike Matt and John graduated from high school

Spencer Brett Mike and Christen graduated from college

Brett Mike Matt and John returned after serving honorable misisons

Angela Christen and Rachel married into the family

Maysen Stockton Jorja Lincoln Skye were born into the family with one more on the way

Ten years is a long time... in that amount of time, Mom could be as far as 5.8 billion miles away, assuming there's a speed limit to spiritual travel... I'm sure that's not the case... there has to be some sort of ansiable technology.

I miss you Mom, I can't wait to tell you about my antics down here. I'll omit the embarassing stuff of course, but I think I'll tell you about the time John sent a mass email when he didn't mean to.

Here's another picture of your grandson for the road.

Bubba Bear

Webmaster Bubs

2006-05-20T11:15:00.000-06:00

I have to do this web page for one of my masters classes, so check out Millburnland on the links to the left. I'm going to try to maintain a Platypi page. We'll see how this goes.

Lincoln finally has teeth. He's not too happy about it. He got his first two teeth last Tuesday.

This is Link playing with his second cousin Brayden.

Only 9 days left in the school year.

Best things about being a teacher

10- Students still want to learn, even after CRT's are done

9- Respect and admiration from all

8- Students will do anything you ask

7- All that extra cash comes in handy

6- Get to know inmates before they got locked up

5- No insane hoops to jump through

4- Junior High kids are so calm

but seriously...

3- June

2- July

1- August

Next year I'll be a real level 2 teacher. I think that means I'm harder to fire, and President Bush comes and visits me and shakes my hand.

That is all

Kobe

The Goon Bubs

2006-05-11T06:20:00.000-06:00

I'm sure it's been a welcome relief to not have to read a new post of mine, so I won't say sorry.

I will say sorry that we had our 11 game softball win streak snapped by Salt Lake Blues. The difference in the game was that the ball bounced their way, and didn't bounce ours. We were constantly lining out to thier team, while their hits were finding holes, and so forth. Our defense also deserted us. We allowed more runs in this one game, than we had allowed in the previous 3. We got them next time.

Look for a future web page deltailing platypi exploits and such.We're now at 3-1.

Lincoln rode Lagoon rides for the first time. He went on the Merry go round, and the train. He liked the animals on the train ride, but hated the whistle. Gave the old pouty lip every time he heard it... much like the organ in church. That leads me to the list...

Best Lagoon Rides

12- Musik Express

11- Rattlesnake Rapids

10- Hydroluge

9- Boomerang

8- The "record" in the old Fun House

7- Tidal Wave

6- Wild Mouse

5- Old Roller Coaster

4- Rocket

3- Spider

2- Colossus

1- Samurai

There's no contest as to the worst ride at Lagoon... The Sky Ride has that honor.

In other news, Natalie went to prom the other day...

Look how our little girl has grown up!

This is what Lincoln thought of her flowers...

I think anyone would agree that flowers look tasty. Finally another gratuitous image of the boy trying to reach something...

Platypi Update

2006-05-03T06:44:00.000-06:00

First, Lincoln went to Kiddie Kandids, and took some more pictures, here are a few:

He got his six month shots yesterday... very sad, although he didn't scream as long as before. He measured at the 95th percentile for length, and about the 50th percentile for weight. His head is somewhere around the 40th percentile, needless to say, he doesn't take after his dad in that regard.

I know you have all been waiting for a Platypi update.

We are now 2-0 after last night. We won our first game 21-4, and our second 21-15. We were up by as many as 14 last night, but kind of coasted home. As usual, I learned a few things from our game.

1- Fat guys only have power in little league baseball

2- Lincoln likes to be outside watching softball

3- Our weakness is if the other team hits line drives that drop 20 feet in front of our fielders. Other teams should try to "exploit" that hole

4- If your arm hurts, you shouldn't play centerfield -- We had two players tag up from 2nd and score.

5- If the first 5 batters in your lineup are fast, the other team even assumes the bubs is fast.

6- I should remember to cover 3rd base when I am the 3rd baseman.

7- Christen still hasn't had her baby.

On Saturday, we play Video 2, and on Tuesday, we play the Salt Lake Blues. These are the 2 best teams in the league besides us. If we can get through that stretch, we'll be in business.

We are going to be missing a few players for Saturday's game, so Brett should come down to play.

Pete Rose

Board Bubs

2006-04-25T11:31:00.000-06:00

I am just finishing up my final projects for my masters classes. Usually when teachers say projects, they mean a huge paper. That was the case for my first class for which I wrote an 11 page paper, replete with spelling errors and grammatical mistakes I’m sure.

My second class, the teachers told us we could do a creative project, but no one has ever done one before in her class. Our choice was a creative project or a 20 page paper. The choice was clear. Plus the teacher all but double dog dared us to do a creative work.

So I made a board game about motivation. The object is to be the first one to move their teacher piece and their student piece from August to June. It involves a time machine for which you have to answer a motivation question correctly in order to skip half the year.

So that got me thinking about another list.

My Favorite Board Games

20 – Life – this is more like a bored game
19 – Scrabble – most overrated game in the history of the world… that might be an exaggeration.
18 – Trivial Pursuit – What group of people occupied Spain from 711 to 1492? The Moops.
17 – Checkers – King me
16 – Candyland – Extra points for the unique player movement situation
15 – Chinese Checkers
14 – Careers
13 – Chess
12 – Uncle Wiggly – Props for the sweet name
11 – Monopoly – I’m not sure if I’ve ever finished
10 – Clue – or Simpson’s Clue… Homer at the Bowl-a-rama with the poisoned doughnut
9 – Compatibility – John and Devin win by choosing the clown every time
8 – Mancala - I dominate my students at this game all the time. Silly kids.
7 – Sorry!
6 – The Farming Game – with Topinish Tom et. al.
5 – Backgammon – only this high because Matt worships this game
4 – Risk – Back in the good ol’ days, I’d dominate Brett, Chad and Justin when we played at the cabin
3 – Pirateer – The game of outrageous fortune
2 – Aggravation – Matt usually wins because he can roll a 6 on command
1 – Settlers of Catan – Good game, plus the bargaining aspect is a plus.

So… if anyone has a better name for my game than ‘motivopoly’ then let me hear it. And no suggestions with the word ‘nerd’ or any other derisive word in it… this is serious business.

The Donald

Bumper Car Bubs

2006-04-16T16:44:00.000-06:00

First things first, here is this year's summer softball schedule...

4-18 6 pm
4-25 8 pm
5- 2 7 pm
5- 9 9 pm
5-16 7 pm
5-23 6 pm
5-30 9 pm
6- 6 9 pm
6-13 6 pm
6-20 7 pm
6-27 7 pm
7-11 6 pm
7-18 8 pm
7-25 9 pm

For those intersted, here is a list of teams in our league:

Salt Lake Blues
Demay Plumbing
XMission L C
Video 2
Building Dynamics
Rocky Mountain Carpets
R Wood CPA

Our first game is against Video 2, then Demay.

Yesterday was my first Lagoon day of the season. Short lines = much fun. Bad news, Wild Mouse is waiting for parts that have been 'delayed'. Cliffhanger was up and running according to Clark. I didn't see it with my own eyes, so consider the source. Mike Tyson's Punch Out is also up and running for it's second year of operation.

We spent an hour or so at Boomerang trapping people as usual. I was exposed to a new form of fun. This one kid chased after Clark's friend the entire time shouting 'You stole my car'. I thought that was a pretty good one, clearly not as good as our strategy, but somewhat creative. Needless to say, he was our 'target' for the next several times.

Mork

Road Trip Bubs

2006-04-14T16:10:00.000-06:00

This is my 40th post, and I can't think of a better way to celebrate my 40th posting than by telling everyone about our quick trip to Idaho Falls.

Clark and Lincoln went with me since nobody else would. Clark took this picture of Lincoln on the way up with his cell phone.

Notice the drool on his chin. Yes, Lincoln is a drooly baby.

Of course we were late, so we went straight to Chad's reception. Luckily, I am the master at finding things, even in a Foreign city, where they don't always put Easts or Wests on thier addresses, so I found the place without incident.

I'd have to say the food was pretty good, as was the reception, but anyone knows that receptions are judged by food, so if the food is good, that automatically makes the reception good unless an ugly incident breaks out. I hope I go to a reception one day that is serving steak. That's a good idea for Brett. If he wants to have a good reception, he should serve steak, and avoid ugly incidents.

Courtney's baby Tarak (sp?) was there, Lincoln and Tarak were excited to see each other...

After the reception, we went to the Fullers, where Jackson witnessed the most intense Double Dribble game on a big screen known to mankind. Needless to say, I beat Clark.

Frank and Tammi were nice enough to let us stay the night, and mooch their food. We visited with Grandma and Grandpa for an hour the next day, went of to see the Parry's for a little bit, and headed home.

We stopped off in Far West at a McDonalds that was so decked out, I almost left a tip. I figured I should change Lincoln's diaper, but he wasn't wet or messy, so we carried on... big mistake. When we got home, Lincoln had not only covered himself, but also his carseat with poo. And that was how Ange got to see her baby for the first time in 24 hours... covered in poo. She was so excited, that she wanted to change him, which I didn't complain too much about.

That'll do 'er

TV's Frank

TV Film Critic Bubs

2006-04-11T21:59:00.000-06:00

Oh boy

I just got done watching the Ten Commandments. I didn't see much of the second half as I was packing for Idaho. I do have some comments on the first half

Things I found absurd about the first half of the new Ten Commandments TV movie:

No particular order

- Aaron is mega jelous

- Burning Bush looks more like the singing bush... I was half expecting to see Steve Martin. "Excuse me, are you the singing bush?"

- I am who I am? That sounds like Popeye. The real quote would be "I am that I am."

- The first 40 years of Moses's life only occupy 10 minutes of the movie.

- Moses has this huge chip on his shoulder the entire time.

- Miriam has an English accent.

- No 'aging' after visiting the buring bush.

- After 40 years in the desert, comes back to Egypt still looking like a spring chicken.

- Moses's rod only kills Pharoah's snakes instead of eating them.

- Some madman has a spaz, thus prompting Pharoah to kill all the little boys.

- I only counted 8 curses.

- Moses pushes open Egypt gates Aragorn style.

- Red Sea is split by an underwater A-bomb

Plus

After someone thells Pharoah to let the slaves go, Pharoah kills him, then asks if anyone else has the same counsel, thus purposefully surrounding himself with a bunch of yes men.

Yes, I know people like that.

Ange also thought it was ironic how they were talking letting the slaves go and so forth, and the news teasers were about the immigrant 'slaves' the entire time.

I'm in Idaho to see Chad et. al.

Bubble Boy

Copyright Bubs

2006-04-10T06:36:00.000-06:00

Ange wanted me to enter the picture below in this one baby picture contest. The rules were that there had to be a hat involved, and I guess it needed to be on a baby. In the picture below, that baby is Lincoln.Clearly he has a hat on, unfortunately, said hat does not have three corners, nor is it my hat. Cathy made this one for him, her first attempt was to small for his head. Like father like son.

Anyway, I was reading the fine print, and apparently I don't own the copyright to this picture anymore. I am putting it up anyway just to defy 'the man'. I feel like Kramer when he sold all his stories to Peterman, and then couldn't tell them to his friends anymore.

Peterman: "The very pants you were taking to the dry cleaners?"

They provided an option to send emails to all my friends about how they should vote for Link. I think this is both annoying and unfair. They are clearly trying to drive traffic to their website. I will not be party to such tactics. Plus, I know all my 'friends' would have just voted for some other baby.

In conclusion, we'll know it's rigged when the ugly baby wins.

Elaine: Some night huh?
Doctor guy: Yes, some night.
Elaine: Some ugly baby.

The Villain

Cecil B. Demille Bubs

2006-04-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

I’ve got to get this in before conference starts… and yes John, I am going to pretend like I want to watch conference.

Yesterday, I was watching some America’s Funniest Home Videos, known as AFV. Why it’s not known as AFHV, I’ll never know. I think it has a better ring to it, like ADHD, but anyway…

I’m watching a cat jump into a window, and a dog dragging himself down the stairs, and a guy getting hit in the crotch by his kid’s baseball bat, and Tom whoever making bad jokes when mercifully, they went to commercial.

ABC was pumping up their new version of The Ten Commandments. Now, I know how TV networks always mess up,(drop good shows, bad movie about Noah, etc.) so I have a few suggestions for these fools.

Lines/things that need to be kept in the new Ten Commandments from the old Ten Commandments

13- Blood makes poor mortar.
12- So let it be written, so let it be done.
11- Thus sayeth the Lord God of Israel: Let my people go.
10- There needs to still be that one evil Israelite guy.
9- The movie needs to be long so Grandpa Millburn can still compare long things to the Ten Commandments.
8- Moses jumping in the mud with the rest of the Israelites
7- Behold His mighty hand!
6- How Moses ages several years after his vision at the burning bush.
5- Just give me those pastel shelled chocolate candies. (Wait, that’s on my list of suggestions for the Easter Bunny)
4- O Moses, Moses. You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool
3- God opens the sea with a blast of His nostrils!"
2- When Moses destroys the golden calf by throwing the tablets at it… big explosion.
1- His God is God.

In conclusion, if any of these things are missing, the movie is dumb, and whoever made it doesn’t know what they’re doing.

We’ve all heard of the disaster that was the remake of the Poseidon Adventure. I think this movie is on TV next weekend.

That will do it from here for now

Peace Out

Charlton Heston (spell check)

Wise Bubs

2006-03-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

At 3 in the morning today, we hear Lincoln screaming. He has been sleeping through the night, se we ignored it for a while, but he was persistent. Ange asked me to make sure he was OK.

I got to his crib, and realized that he has added half a twist to his ‘push his head into a corner of the crib’ trick. So he’s lying on his stomach, which he hates, with his face plastered into the corner of the crib. It was pretty funny. I turned him over, and all was well.

Also, he had his first ‘log’ yesterday. It’s about time I can call him Lincoln Logs. Ange just calls him ‘Logs’ for short.

In other news, I had four students walk out to ‘protest’ the immigration bill the Senate was considering. Like they really wanted to protest, they just wanted to get out of class. I told them they should stage a protest for their real problem… the fact that they have to be in class. Now that’s a protest.

I figure you could use some uplifting sayings, with a few comments from the bubs, so here it is.

Proverbs:

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - True, a garden can be carried in the pocket.
A closed mouth catches no flies. - So why would we want to eat flies?
A dimple on the chin, the devil within. - Sounds like this one is talking about me and Lincoln
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. - Self explanatory
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Oh boy
A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. - I know plenty of scoundrels who own dogs or cats.
A hungry man is an angry man. - This applies to women too.
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. - So if you think your baby’s cute, you’re a monkey?
A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole. - Maybe bragging about how fat they are?
A teacher is better than two books. - That’s some high praise for a teacher
A thief believes everybody steals. - And so does the bubs, who worked at the prison.
A tree falls the way it leans. - Sounds like another Michael Moore conspiracy
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
A woman has the form of an angel, the heart of a serpent, and the mind of an ass. - I didn’t write it… I just put it up for your enjoyment… I’m not here to make judgments
After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers. - Those Greeks like to steal fingers.
An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea. - Stupid English, and they think we’re dumb for electing W.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. - I think this one’s in the Bible… not sure where… probably in Proverbs.

Confucius

PS. My no vomit streak is back up to 19 days

Merciful Bubs

2006-03-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

Looks as if winter will never end. That’s just as well, the kids are more rowdy if the weather is nice.

My list today only applies to the last 50 years or so…

Greatest Miscarriages of Justice

13- Steph hit me with a bat because I burped… and I was the one who got in trouble.
12- We lost a Region basketball game while I was coaching Mike’s team, because the refs allowed the scorekeeper (father of a child on the other team) to count a ten footer as a 3 pointer. I told the ref I was going to be way mad if we go to overtime. Sure enough… and the rest is history. Plus the ref told me I was the worst ‘sport’ he’s ever seen.
11- Some nerd accused me of sleeping on the job at the prison. I may not be bright, but I know better than to fall asleep at the prison.
10- Judy Miller putting the Kibosh on my cookie business.
9- Me getting diagnosed with ADHD by Jim Jensen, aka genius psychologist.
8- We were watching a movie in 7th grade, and Danny Delahunty was sitting in front of my seat, but on the floor. I leaned over to say something to him… the next thing I know, I have to stay after school for a week, cleaning desks because I ‘spit’ on him.
7- That one baseball field that got turned into a senior citizen’s center.
6- Bubs getting ganged up on while playing Mafia.
5- Hilary Duff’s little sister losing an election to Pedro.
4- Arrested Development being cancelled. I can think of a lot of shows that were cancelled that shouldn’t have been, this is just the latest in a long line… 3rd Rock from the Sun also comes to mind.
3- Kangaroo Jack doing poorly at the box office.
2- Matt winning a backgammon game versus his companion, when his comp only had one piece left, and Matt didn’t have one piece in.
1- Wile E. Coyote never getting the roadrunner despite genius plans and help from ACME.

There sure is a lot of injustice in the world. Notice that I restrained myself from sports for the most part. I don’t have enough time to go through all the injustices the Jazz have suffered at the hands of evil refs.

Or the injustice the Angels suffered at the hands of the evil White Sox. I guess if it’s been 80+ years since you’ve won, it’s alright to cheat to get the victory.

Just like the Bulls cheated against the Jazz, except it had been 11+ months since the Bulls had won a championship.

Big Mac

Glass Cleaning Bubs

2006-03-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

The Faculty played the boys basketball team today for a good one. I once again told my class that if I go scoreless, they all get A’s. Obviously, I wasn’t going to go scoreless, because there were only 6 of us.

Anywhoo… 7 seconds into the game, I made a three from the corner, right in front of my class. They took it in stride. The best good one is that they actually kept stats for this game. Here are mine:

2 pts - 2 - 2
3 pts - 1 - 3
FT - 2 - 2
Reb 7
Ast 2
Pts 9

In the second quarter, I had a breakaway lay-up, and this tall kid caught up to me, and swatted the ball into the back wall, then landed on me, and sent my head into the back wall. I got up and made both free throws… that’s what I needed to make free throws, a severe blow to the head. Plus the student body for the next five minutes chanted “You got swatted” every time I touched the ball. I didn’t feel like stopping the game to explain to them that if a foul is called, there is no ‘swat’. Plus, now I have this huge headache.

Then I got that kid back in the forth quarter by diving for a loose ball, and undercutting him. Then he got in my face all tough like. Then I told him to not hate the player, but to hate the game. I made that last part up… about hating.

We were up by 18 at the start of the 4th, and ended up winning by 8, because we were all gassed. In the end, fun was had by all, except for that one kid on the boys team, who looked like that Morrison character from Gonzaga, but in a bad/nerdy way -- and he’s white, and he has no 'stache and he’s slamming his fists into the floor every second.

So, that should do it.

Ralph Nader

John and the Bubs

2006-03-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today is John's birthday... in honor of the spellcheck nazi, I will post some things that have come to mind about John.

15- UVSC basketball class we had together where the two of us with Devon dominated everyone.
14- Seinfeld marathon before he left on the mish
13- Sledding, I'm sure he's got some stories to share
12- His mega huge mission comp. that fell in the bathtub and broke it.
11- Made, or was a part of homemade movies about many topics including: Lawnmowing, Soccer, and Dunk Contests. (Zee-wo)
10- Favorite movie: Mr. Holland's Opus
9- When his team was losing, had a convenient injury
8- Wiffleball homerun leader
7- The Bubs decided to take John and friends hiking -- it was a nice hike until we tried to get to the top of the waterfall, which meant hiking over a huge ridge, and hanging on to a cliff. Bubs learned his lesson about taking John and friends hiking.
6- Brett teaching John to catch a ball by "eating it, then swallowing it"
5- His only homerun in little league was a towering shot into a huricane force wind, that cleared the fence by 75 feet.
4- Played the Bubs in basketball downstairs, the Bubs always let him win. What a nice brother.
3- Got hit by a car on the 4th of July in Missouri.
2- Got lost on Lone Peak
1- Fell into the river at Tanner's Flat when he was 2 or so. Luckily Steph was there to save the day.

So, I believe that is at least 4 near death experiences that I can come up with off the top of my head. I'm sure there have been more.

Happy Birthday John

The big two three (or so)

The North Going Zax

Wedding Planner Bubs

2006-03-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who couldn't make it through my last entry, I have a new link where you can see pictures of Link. It's called Picture Pages.

In other news, I was talking to Matt via IM just barely. He has a picture of the Iraqi Information Minister up. Am I the only one who thinks Matt looks exactly like that guy?

On to the list today... and today's list is not a list... it is a schedule of Brett and Rachel's wedding.

I know things can be stressful for people about to be married, so I took the liberty of putting together a schedule for them. If anyone doesn't like the activity planned, they can just go shopping or something.

May 18

4:00:00 pm - Wiffle Ball at the Millburn's house.
6:00:00 - Rehersal Dinner at some fancy restaurant where the butter looks like rasberry ice cream. Pirate Joe knows what I'm talking about.
6:10:00 - Beging eating
6:40:00 - Begin slideshow of select cute pics of Lincoln
7:40:00 - Begin slideshow of all of Brett's cute pictures
7:40:01 - End slideshow, Brett tells story of almost getting beat up at the dirt hills
8:30:00 - Raquetball at Mike's old place
10:00:00 - Watch Mystery Science Theater's "Space Mutiny"
12:00:00 - Retire to bed - Brett dreams of Sugar Plums

May 19

8:00:00 - Arise refreshed
8:10:00 - Breakfast at dad's (waffles)
8:20:00 - Wiffle Ball
10:00:00 - Play Pillage and Plunder
12:00:00 - Wedding Lunch at Wingers
1:00:00 - Wiffle Ball, though we'll all be bogged down, an option here is frisbee golf
2:00:00 - Wedding stuff
4:00:00 - Basketball at the Institute
5:00:00 - Wedding dinner at Tony Roma's
6:00:00 - Reception at an undisclosed location so terrorists can't attack us
9:00:00 - Croquet at Millburn's

So all the planning is over for you guys. I'll waive my usual $5,000 fee for this service because you're family. I hope to see everyone there, again, the fun begins May 18th... just show up at the Millburn's house for a good time.

Bullwinkle

Bitter Bubs

2006-03-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

With the WBC winding down, I would like to point out how teams I root for never do well. Here is a list of how I'd want the eight teams that advanced to the second round to finish...

8 - Cuba
7 - Japan
6 - Korea
5 - Venezuela
4 - Mexico
3 - Dominican Republic
2 - Puerto Rico
1 - USA

You will notice a few things, first of all, My 7th and 8th pick are the ones in the final... I guess I'm going for Japan, but either way, we're going to hear about how either Cuba or Japan play baseball the 'right' way.

You may have also noticed that I have Venezuela pretty low for someone who has spent time there. It's because of their stupid president.

Also, Puerto Rico is number 2 because it really is part of the US. A win for Puerto Rico is the same as a win for the US in my book.

Now for some long-awaited pictures of Lincoln.

We took him to the doctor the other day to get his shots -- Which is a very traumatic/sad experience. Lincoln is 96 percentile for height... he has grown about 6 inches in 4 months... he is almost as tall as his 11 month old cousin... so obviously, we are going to need to move from our present location, because niether Lincoln nor the ceiling fan will be safe

So without further adieu

OK...looks like there's going to be more adieu... after several attempts at loading a picture, it looks like I'll have to try later.

So on that note...

The End

Scooter

PS I finally went another route with the pictures... I used photo bucket like Christen. If you are still interested in pictures of the little guy, click on 'Picture Pages' under my Links.