I have good news and bad news... the bad news is that I'm still sick. The good news is I didn't throwup today. Then I decided since I was able to not throwup, that was a sign that I should go to work. I lost my voice halfway through the school day. Not good. Week number 1,754 is shaping up to be a pretty crappy one for the bubs.
In fact, this week's been so bad that there is no list today.
In other news, I need to try to figure out where to take about 100 Junior High kids on a field trip that would be fun and educational. Any ideas? Remember, they can't go to Germany to challenge Matt at raquetball.
That's all for now.
Fidel Quackenbush
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Sick Bubs
This post isn’t for the faint of heart, or the weak of stomach… You’ve had your warning… I don’t want to hear any complaining.
I had a fun morning, I tossed and turned in my bed for 3 hours before I decided to throwup. Great relief was had upon throwing up, but then I had to hurry off to school to get stuff ready for my sub.
I hate throwing up, because it has to be a conscious decision for me to throwup. I have to decide to ‘let go’, and let ‘er rip. I wrestled with that decision, until I decided I’d take care of a few errands, then go throw up.
Then it comes down to the actual moment when I am kneeling in front of the toilet. I feel like one of those religious martyrs, except instead of paying the price with blood, I pay it with leftover chunks of food my stomach was unable to digest.
So I’ve decided to make a list of reasons why I hate throwing up:
10 - It makes my eyes water
9 - I hate that sour acid taste
8 - I hate the smell of the toilet before I get it on. (Yes, I do flush beforehand)
7 - Usually comes after 3 hours of deliberation
6 - My knees usually start to hurt
5 - I think how I’ve wasted food
4 - I am immediately hungry, but don’t want to eat any food.
3 - I don’t like the look of liquid food mixed with hydrochloric acid
2 - It hurts my stomach
1 - Dry heaves by far the worst, it’s like doing a lot of work, and seeing no results, knowing in seconds you’re going to do it all over again.
I thought it was time you guys know my true feelings on the matter.
I would rather mop cement, then throwup.
Roscoe P. Coltrane
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Conspiracy Bubs
So I’m over at Ange’s mom’s house, and I get up to use the bathroom. As I’m walking to the bathroom, I’m thinking how it seems like I have those one chills you get when you’re sick.
Then I get back and find the nearest blanket to get under. Before I know it, I’ve got a fever. Ange got me home, and I spent a miserable night last night. My temperature got up to 102. I feel fine as long as a take Tylenol and Ibuprofen every 4 hours.
So I was amused last week how some people thought the Dick Cheany shooting was to cover up the fact that Cheany had earlier shot the guy in the heart. Oh boy.
So for today’s list….
Top crazy conspiracy theories
It should be pointed out that I don’t believe any of these theories… except maybe #10, because my US History teacher Mr. Ward told me so…
10 - FDR and the US knew about Pearl Harbor before it happened
9 - Apollo 11 Moon Landings were faked by NASA
8 - Barcodes are really intended to Control people
7 - The Truth is out there, on Area 51
6 - Microsoft sends messages on Wingdings Font – If you type in NYC in Wingdings font, it gives a skull and crossbones, the star of David, and a thumbs up sign. Interpreted by some people to mean that Microsoft approves of killing Jews.
5 - U.S. military caused the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami
4 - This one is more of a coincidence…
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
3 - Supreme Court Justices were murdered, so the administration could appoint judges that would let friends destroy Louisiana wetlands. (Wait, that’s the plot of The Pelican Brief)
2 - The Challenger explosion. The theory is that they let the teacher go into space, and during her training she learned that the government was doing stuff through NASA that they shouldn't have been doing, and to make sure that she'd stay quiet, they blow up her shuttle.
1 - September 11 was orchestrated by the U. S. government – There are people that actually believe this one, including some BYU physics professor. They point to all sorts of ‘proof’ from a weird way of folding a 20, to the way the buildings fell. Wierdos
Here is a good site for Seinfeld quotes for those interested: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
Also, I would like to mention that I have officially put Hershey’s chocolate syrup on my ‘dead to me’ list, and I’ve put Olympics coverage ‘on notice’. Seriously, I’m watching cross country skiing right now.
The Villain
Then I get back and find the nearest blanket to get under. Before I know it, I’ve got a fever. Ange got me home, and I spent a miserable night last night. My temperature got up to 102. I feel fine as long as a take Tylenol and Ibuprofen every 4 hours.
So I was amused last week how some people thought the Dick Cheany shooting was to cover up the fact that Cheany had earlier shot the guy in the heart. Oh boy.
So for today’s list….
Top crazy conspiracy theories
It should be pointed out that I don’t believe any of these theories… except maybe #10, because my US History teacher Mr. Ward told me so…
10 - FDR and the US knew about Pearl Harbor before it happened
9 - Apollo 11 Moon Landings were faked by NASA
8 - Barcodes are really intended to Control people
7 - The Truth is out there, on Area 51
6 - Microsoft sends messages on Wingdings Font – If you type in NYC in Wingdings font, it gives a skull and crossbones, the star of David, and a thumbs up sign. Interpreted by some people to mean that Microsoft approves of killing Jews.
5 - U.S. military caused the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami
4 - This one is more of a coincidence…
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
3 - Supreme Court Justices were murdered, so the administration could appoint judges that would let friends destroy Louisiana wetlands. (Wait, that’s the plot of The Pelican Brief)
2 - The Challenger explosion. The theory is that they let the teacher go into space, and during her training she learned that the government was doing stuff through NASA that they shouldn't have been doing, and to make sure that she'd stay quiet, they blow up her shuttle.
1 - September 11 was orchestrated by the U. S. government – There are people that actually believe this one, including some BYU physics professor. They point to all sorts of ‘proof’ from a weird way of folding a 20, to the way the buildings fell. Wierdos
Here is a good site for Seinfeld quotes for those interested: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
Also, I would like to mention that I have officially put Hershey’s chocolate syrup on my ‘dead to me’ list, and I’ve put Olympics coverage ‘on notice’. Seriously, I’m watching cross country skiing right now.
The Villain
Friday, February 17, 2006
Nose Dropper Bubs
Free day today… all those hours at Parent Teacher Conference are starting to pay off. Lincoln is feeling much better. He is starting to notice things and reach for them. Here are a few things he’s interested in…
The Vacuum Cleaner
The Mirror
His Boppy
Carebears
The nightlight
His fingers
Daddy's face (Especially eyes)
But the thing he is always looking for is this bottle of Neo Synephrine that has a nose dropper used to clear up a stuffy nose. He knocks it over, and then laughs.
For today’s entry, I thought I’d list some funny lines from Seinfeld. By all means, the list is not complete, and they are in no particular order…
Funny Seinfeld lines
George: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past 20 years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduce them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
George: My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents
George: It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist.
Karmer: Yeah, that would be nice. But I really just need this card.
Jerry: How could they not fire you?
George: I never thought I'd fail at failing.
Jerry: Aw, come on there, now.
George: I feel like I can't do anything wrong.
Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?
Frank: What the [heck] did you trade Jay Buhner for?! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the [heck] you're doin'!
Jerry: That is one magic Lugi
George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. It's not complicated.
DMV lady: According to the state of New York, sir, you are the [Ace]man.
Bookie: Susie didn’t commit suicide! She was murdered… by Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry: Newman, you wouldn’t eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce
Elaine: What, did they make it longer? (English Patient)
Jerry: You find the need to use alot of profanity in the dentist's office?
Kramer: When the pull out that needle, I let the explatives fly!
George: These pretzels are making me thirsty!
George: You can do a LOT worse than Mr. Peanut!
George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.
George: Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?"
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.
Jerry: Why don't you put it in the car so I don't accidentally toss it in that dumpster.
George: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
Elaine: Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!
Looks like that will do it for another blog entry. Lincoln is crying, so I’m going to try to find that nose dropper.
The Drake
The Vacuum Cleaner
The Mirror
His Boppy
Carebears
The nightlight
His fingers
Daddy's face (Especially eyes)
But the thing he is always looking for is this bottle of Neo Synephrine that has a nose dropper used to clear up a stuffy nose. He knocks it over, and then laughs.
For today’s entry, I thought I’d list some funny lines from Seinfeld. By all means, the list is not complete, and they are in no particular order…
Funny Seinfeld lines
George: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past 20 years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduce them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
George: My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents
George: It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist.
Karmer: Yeah, that would be nice. But I really just need this card.
Jerry: How could they not fire you?
George: I never thought I'd fail at failing.
Jerry: Aw, come on there, now.
George: I feel like I can't do anything wrong.
Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?
Frank: What the [heck] did you trade Jay Buhner for?! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the [heck] you're doin'!
Jerry: That is one magic Lugi
George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. It's not complicated.
DMV lady: According to the state of New York, sir, you are the [Ace]man.
Bookie: Susie didn’t commit suicide! She was murdered… by Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry: Newman, you wouldn’t eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce
Elaine: What, did they make it longer? (English Patient)
Jerry: You find the need to use alot of profanity in the dentist's office?
Kramer: When the pull out that needle, I let the explatives fly!
George: These pretzels are making me thirsty!
George: You can do a LOT worse than Mr. Peanut!
George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.
George: Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?"
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.
Jerry: Why don't you put it in the car so I don't accidentally toss it in that dumpster.
George: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
Elaine: Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!
Looks like that will do it for another blog entry. Lincoln is crying, so I’m going to try to find that nose dropper.
The Drake
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Bugged Bubs
Welcome to today’s entry in my blog. Lincoln still has a little RSV going on, but I think he’s getting better… It’s been a week, so I figure it’s time.
Today is Valentine’s day of course, and the geniuses that run our school district decided it would be a good day for parent teacher conferences. I would agree, if I didn’t want to see any parents at all. Apparently, they are all out trying to build their marriage, while teachers sit at tables, bored to tears. Nobody yelled at me today, so that’s a plus.
Today, I am going to list off some pet peeves, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but I thought I’d get one started, to be added to later.
And for any of you who forgot, Mike’s pet peeve is the Pehrson’s dog…
Pet Peeves of the Bubs
12 - Emails that try to guilt trip you into forwarding them on (Forward this to 10 people or you’ll die today)
11 – When it’s warm during the day, but cold in the morning, thus causing me to drive halfway to work before I notice that I have the air conditioner on.
10 - Cleaning up ketchup
9 - Students turning in tons of work at the end of the quarter
8 - People with no sense of humor
7 - Rated R movies are the only ones to get nominated for the Oscars
6 - Gangsters
5 - Students with cell phones
4 - KFC always sounds good, then makes me sick
3 - Portraits cost an arm and a leg, when it only cost pennies to develop pictures
2 - Parents who think their students are little angels
1 - Everybody thinks desperate housewives is cool, but I guarantee it’s just lame, even though I haven’t seen it once, but the media seems like they have the ability to make any TV show popular, no matter how dumb.
This is one of those lists I’m going to have to add on to… Another one of my pet peeves, is not being able to remember pet peeves whilst making a pet peeve list.
That will be all for now,
Mr. Magoo
Today is Valentine’s day of course, and the geniuses that run our school district decided it would be a good day for parent teacher conferences. I would agree, if I didn’t want to see any parents at all. Apparently, they are all out trying to build their marriage, while teachers sit at tables, bored to tears. Nobody yelled at me today, so that’s a plus.
Today, I am going to list off some pet peeves, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but I thought I’d get one started, to be added to later.
And for any of you who forgot, Mike’s pet peeve is the Pehrson’s dog…
Pet Peeves of the Bubs
12 - Emails that try to guilt trip you into forwarding them on (Forward this to 10 people or you’ll die today)
11 – When it’s warm during the day, but cold in the morning, thus causing me to drive halfway to work before I notice that I have the air conditioner on.
10 - Cleaning up ketchup
9 - Students turning in tons of work at the end of the quarter
8 - People with no sense of humor
7 - Rated R movies are the only ones to get nominated for the Oscars
6 - Gangsters
5 - Students with cell phones
4 - KFC always sounds good, then makes me sick
3 - Portraits cost an arm and a leg, when it only cost pennies to develop pictures
2 - Parents who think their students are little angels
1 - Everybody thinks desperate housewives is cool, but I guarantee it’s just lame, even though I haven’t seen it once, but the media seems like they have the ability to make any TV show popular, no matter how dumb.
This is one of those lists I’m going to have to add on to… Another one of my pet peeves, is not being able to remember pet peeves whilst making a pet peeve list.
That will be all for now,
Mr. Magoo
Friday, February 10, 2006
Angry Bubs
Just in case you had to see it to believe it...
There are athletes whose ACL's healed faster than this guy's hammy... I just can't remember who they are.
Here's some advice Carlos... If you don't want to be on the Jazz, the best way out is to be on the court contributing.
80 straight games without playing. I wonder what my boss would do if I missed 80 days in a row. My guess is that I'd be gone the first day I missed work.
Hope I never strain my hammy, I don't think I could handle the long road to recovery.
Mr. Furious
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Nieghborhood Bubs
Lincoln still has RSV, but it seems to be getting better.That goundhog post turned out to be pure genius. I also seem to have the ability to ignite a firestorm of contraversy on Christen's blog.
Rachel is going to get her blog linked to this one, so you can go there and see a picture of Brett, Rachel, and Charles.
For today's list, I have decided to list Nieghborhood charaters, and what they were known for/ something funny they did. This list is in no particular order, and no, I'm not going to list that I always said that something was so cheep.
Famous Nieghborhood Charaters
Milner - Calling people a 'ned'
Jason - Calling him Rexbo, and he's say that Rex means king
David - Laughed like Seseme Street's Ernie
Randy - Too cool for school
Matt - Showtime habits, like when he'd shake his head all the time like Chester the Cheetah
Mark M - Animaniacs
Mark P - Killing lawn, then blaming it on us
Bart - Destroyer of goods
Alan - Banked a free throw off our roof, and in... on accident
Brett - Speedy Gonzalez
Danny - Challenging the lower half of the nieghborhood to a friendly game of baseball
Brent P - Saying upper half of nieghborhood was going to kick our a** in said game, thus rendering it unfriendly.
Bubs - All time QB/Rusher
Bryce - Changing the subject
Mike - Disclosing Dustin's most embarasing moment in the ward newsletter
Steven - Ongoing battle with Mosquitoes
John M - Always almost dying
Brian - After every shot he takes in basketball shouting 'NO!'
There it is
Now if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep.
Fozzie Bear
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