Sellin' out Bubs

There are two reasons for the title of this post. First of all, we have now officially joined the ranks of the 'people who drive bigger cars than regular cars'.

We bought ourselves a 2002 Toyota Sienna.

This is not our exact car, ours is another color that I am keeping secret, because needless to say, there are those who would like to plan an assassination to silence the voice of the Blog of the Bubs.

Now that we have a way to get up to Idaho, we are hoping to be there until the 28th, if any of my family can hang with that new schedule. Matt, you'd better believe I'm talking to you. We now got room for you, so that excuse is no longer valid. Who's ever heard of a trip to Idaho from the 25th to the 27th. You might as well not go since snow covered roads could slow your trip down enough that you'd get to spend a whopping 20 hours total.

The other way the Blog o' the Bubs is selling out is I'm going to take a page from the MCMillburn blog, and give some pub to a company. No, not Mr. Clean, but rather Nate Wade Subaru, who treated us better than any other dealer we've ever gone through.

Now that the selling out is done, I should mention that Lincoln has started trying to run. I give him 5 months to be faster than me. Maybe he'll pinch run for me in Platypi games.

The Grinch

Torturer Bubs

As it turns out, I like to torture people.

The best people to torture are those with no sense of humor, so the whole time they're way mad at you, and you're laughing, whilst trying to appear serious.

The best people to torture are 13-15 year olds, mostly because they don't have a sense of humor, and they give some pretty good reactions.

Examples of torture I have inflicted on 13-15 year olds:

• When asked if I just got a hair cut, I explain how I got a 'hairs' cut, because only a moron would go to the barber and pay to have one hair cut.
• Ask them a difficult question in order to go to the bathroom
• After return from the bathroom, exclaim that I didn't know it was 'take forever day' (credit to Matt)
• Choose a random girl, and tell her that I didn't know it was 'crazy hair day' today
• Repeatedly say 'Don't hate the player, hate the game.'
• 'Practice' walking in the hallway when kids are noisy
• After kid is irritated, say 'up high' and hold your hand in the air. When they don't give you five, lower hand and say 'down low' kid still glares, then suddenly yank hand away and say 'too slow'
• Tell those with noserings or liprings that they have food on thier face that they should wipe off
• When asked what we're doing today, say 'The same thing we do every other day... try to take over the world'

I bring this up because I found a new torture method.

When a kid asks a question, I just say 'I told you once', then try to get into an argument if I told them or not. This stems from a pretty funny Monty Python Skit I've heard several times, and have inserted below:

Seeing the frustration makes what I do well worth it, and isn't that what it's all about?

I am always open to more torture methods.

Cindy Lou who

The first round...

Lincoln has been walking all over the place. He's been taking steps for two months, but now walking is his preferred mode of transport. He can stand up without any help, and can bend down an pick things up. He is also obsessed with the letter 'v', he knows how to make the sound and everything, and if you ask him what a cow says, he'll go 'voooooo'.

Plus, it seems the two weeks straight of massive blowouts are over for now. I'm getting tired of giving him a bath everytime he has a messy diaper. Then there's the laundry...

This was a pretty good week of college football. For those of you who missed it, I'll recap.

Ohio State vs Troy at Ohio State. This was closer than expected at the start, but then OSU pulled away in front of thier home crowd. 45 - 17.

Wisconsin used a slight homefield advantage since the game was played at Ohio State to surprize LSU, who could never get going. Just like thier loss at Auburn, they never got into the endzone, while Wisconsin showed that the Big 10 was probably the best conference this year. 24 - 9

Ohio State will play Wisconsin at the Orange Bowl in Miami next week

USC vs. Notre Dame This game had the same result as a few weeks ago. USC avenged thier loss to UCLA by stomping on the Irish in So. Cal. again. 34 - 14

Boise St. vs. Oklahoma. In a game to be played for real Jan. 1, Boise State finally showed they belong by beating an Oklahoma team that should have finished with a better record. Boise State scored with 3:22 left to take a 31 - 27 win

Boise State and USC willplay next week in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl.

Florida beat Cent. Michigan at Florida 55 - 31. The game wasn't really that close, but true to form, Florida allowed a bit of a second half comeback.

Louisville used a high powered offense to beat a Wake Forest team that needs to find a main running back. It was still a game in the 4th but then Louisville pulled away... 35 - 20

Louisville will play Florida at the Fiesta bowl next week.

Michigan destroyed Houston at home 42 - 10. The game was a shutout until midway through the 4th quarter when Houston's defense set up the offense with an interception that went to the 5 yard line.

BYU beat Arkansas (of course) in Ann Arobor. John Beck threw for 3 TD's and ran the game winner in on a quarterback sneak with 4:51 left in the game. 38-35

BYU will play Michigan in the Rose Bowl next week.

IF The Bubs were in charge

Today is Brett's birthday. (Quick check of the calender to make sure it's the 3rd) Happy birthday Brett. Brett is now 31... I was going to make a list of 31 reasons why I'm awesome, but clearly, there are way may than 31, and I wouldn't do myself justice.

So instead for Brett's birthday, I'm going to unveil my college football brackets.

All Div 1 conferences get an automatic invite. If you can't win your conference, then you're not guarenteed of playing for the championship. I didn't punish teams for losing in thier conference championship, I think that's unfair. The top 4 seeded teams host 2 games of the first round. After that, games are played at neutral sites. The championship this year is at the old Fiesta Bowl site in Arizona. Games start on Dec. 9th, and go once a week on Saturdays. The championship game is played on New Years Day. Here's the breakdown:

ACC 1 team, Big East 1 team, Big 10 3 teams, Big 12 1 team, Conference USA 1 team, Mid American 1 team, Mountain West 1 team, Pacific 10 1 team, SEC 3 teams, Sun Belt 1 team, WAC 1 team, Independents 1 team.

Any reasonable human would agree with me on this. The games start this Saturday, Dec. 9th. This is always one of my favorite weekends, because I can sit back and watch 8 competitive college football games... I wonder who the Cinderella team will be this year?

How many points can you score in 3.2 seconds?

BYU can score six, and that was the difference.



That play is only second to this one:




The following is a list of how the refs almost blew it:

1. The fake punt that turned the game around. Officials let a clipping penalty go.
2. Utah runs into the kicker, wipes him out... no call.
3. Overturning a BYU touchdown, when 'conclisive' eidence was not there.

I need to make this list to remind Ute fans that BYU got some bad calls, much worse than the so called 'bad' pass interference calls Utah got called for.

And now I celebrate.

Argue with the drunks Bubs

It's been a long time, but I'm back, but then I'll probably not post for a while again.

My school sent me to Nashville for a middle school convention. I spent one day throwing up in my room... seems like I could have done that at home. I threw up four times, and I'm going to try to find a count up device to put on my blog, so I know exactly how long it's been since I threw up. It took me a couple weeks to get over whatever that was I had in Nashville. I stayed in a hotel near the Grand Ole Opry, and it was quite nice, so at least I had a nice hotel to throw up in.

Turns out that middle school teachers get drunk... probably some sort of defense mechanism. I had this way sweet argument with this drunk guy. I said that The Office had the best theme song on TV.


He disagreed, he said the best theme song on TV was when the models walk out on deal or no deal.

I couldn't find the music, so you're going to have to trust me that I'm right. It was the coolest argument ever, except that one time when a drunk guy threw a mango at me in Venezuela.

After the conference, I hopped on a Greyhound bus headed to Birmingham, Alabama, where Mike aka. Pirate Joe picked me up. I stayed at his and Steph's house, where our boy was throwing up non stop.

Then on the flight home, Ange threw up five times.

Things I learned on this trip
1. Riding that train in the Denver airport is fun.
2. Sitting in a bar drinking only water increases your chances of an argument with someone who is drunk.
3. Baked beans are even more gross when making the return trip from your stomach.
4. Nashville only has country music and NASCAR on television
5. I will only take Greyhound out of desperation
6. A ticket does not guarentee a ride on Greyhound... for that, you must wait in line for 2 hours.
7. Baby food counts as a 'liquid' when going through security at the airport.

In conclusion, a good title for a book about our trip would be "A Guide to Ralphing in Different Parts of the Country".

Don't forget to vote about the best TV theme song.

Tigers fan Bubs

Looks like theTigers are the coolest team left, going to have to turn into Brett.

It also looks like Jim Leyland made a pretty good decision between his fourth and fifth pack of cigs. last Sunday. Lose to KC on purpose to draw an easier team. They made the Yankees look like the Platypi.

In other news, I only have to go to school for 3 days this week. Why? Because the UEA has it's convention this week. This is the only good thing the union does for me... allow time off in early fall. Luckily, they aren't taking any of my hard earned money. I'll let them use others' money to pretend like they're working hard for us teachers.

In conclusion, I almost contributed $20 per mile to a walkathon type thing... like the boss on The Office did. Luckily, I caught myself.

Andy VanSlyke