A mystery solved...

Earlier this year, like in August, I had left for school, and Ange was getting ready to go. She took a shower, and set Lincoln up with something to do. Lincoln has the attention span of the average Obamanicac (cheap shots are always welcome), so of course he looked for something else to do.

He has got some cooking skillz, and yes I did spell it with a 'z'. So he opened up some Children's Tylenol, found some Kool-Aid in the pantry, and mixed it all together into one gooey mess on the floor. By the time Ange got out of the shower, our boy had licked a good portion of Kool-Aid mixed Tylenol off the floor.

She had to call poison control, which explains the lack of her taking a picture. He is still alive, so unless ODing on Tylenol kicks in 3 months later, I think we're fine.

But there was something strange about the whole incident. We were pretty sure we had put the lid back on the Tylenol. I mean, it's not like we have open bottles of Tylenol floating around the house all the time.

Then yesterday, Ange witnessed Lincoln opening a baby proof bottle of Tylenol. The boy is 3 years old, and he has already outsmarted the baby proof cap. What's next? Is he going to figure out how to undo the child safety lock on our car doors? Maybe he'll be able to get past the little plug stoppers that keep him from electrocuting himself. Perhaps he'll learn how to undo his seat belt. Needless to say, this is a bad turn of events. With how tall he is, and how smart he is, we've lost all our bar space. I suppose we're going to have to put medicine in the medicine cabinet from now on.

In other crappy news, BYU lost to Utah 48-24. I can't believe how good Brian Johnson played and how bad Max Hall played. I think the turning point of the game would be BYU's inability to recover Utah's and their own fumble. If they get both those, I'm convinced the running game would have been a bigger factor, and may have changed the complexion of the game. After all, BYU got 200+ yards on the ground.

Oh well, there's always basketball season and next year.

The end

An artist and his medium

Warning: This is a picture post. If you don't like to look at pictures of my cute kids, then do not proceed. You know who you are.

So, Lincoln found some of those paints that come in huge bottles, and used our kitchen as his canvas. It took hours to clean up, but at least Ange had the presence of mind to snap a few photos. (Note to the kids, 'snap' used to be what it sounded like to take pictures. Now with digital cameras, it's more of a beep.) He is a pretty good boy, you can see where he tried to clean up the purple paint on the ground.



This is Lincoln at Cornbelly's, one of the few places where he can jump without his parents thinking he's a weirdo.

Just wanted to prove to everybody that Ella's a little princess.
Leaves are fun to play in for little boys. Leaves are not fun to rake up. Fortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard. Unfortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard.

Little girls like leaves too, but usually their brothers get all the attention.

Sometimes, leaves need to be cleaned out of little girls' hair.

I'm pretty sure Lincoln isn't a monkey looking for food in that last picture, but I do wonder about that boy sometimes.

Kermit

I should probably stop neglecting this blog

As mentioned in the Parry Post, I will be conducting a poll. Hopefully it will be up and running just to the right. You should exercise your right to vote, unless, of course, you don't know what you're talking about and then you'd just ruin it for everybody. Yes we can.

Also, we were lucky enough to get to spend 3 grand to keep our house from flooding. The good news is that our basement doesn't flood with every rain storm. Now we can focus on finishing the basement. Yes we can.

In conclusion, I think fry sauce is the grossest thing to have to clean up. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that most mayo based products are nasty after they sit there for 5 days. Milk isn't as bad, the smell can be bad, but at least it comes out as a solid block. I should post a list of worst foods to have to clean up. Yes we can.

Ella might have pink eye, so those reading this post should go and wash your hands, and not pick at your eye. Yes we can.

The Bubs

The big one

So I just finished a post, was getting ready to post it, and lost the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad if my keyboard didn't miss every fifth letter. The temptation was to not post, but as you can see, I'm toughing it out. (Bolded letters in this post were pushed on the keyboard, but didn't register on the computer. We need a new keyboard.)

I need to figure out some way to upload a file so others can download. I was thinking of going through the Parry Wiki, but I need a refresher. If only I had a cousin that was good with computers that could provide said refresher...

School is back in session, which as given me the chance to complain about things that I don't like about my current job. The list is pretty short when compared with the same list when I was at the junior high.

1. My room is constantly 90+ degrees.

2. During my second period class on A days, I have to teach 3 different subjects.

On the good news front, I am raising money by selling water. 50 cents for a watter bottle seems reasonable to me. Also, I won the balloon race thing for the faculty in an assembly today. By won, I mean that I was the last one to cross the line thus ensuring victory.

We decided that we will only go on vacations if they can be two weeks long. Such a vacation was recently had. We_spent the first week or so at Angela's aunt's cabin near Island Park. Very nice spot indeed. Needless to say, much fun was had on the water, and much dominating of Settlers of Catan was done by me.

The second week, we spent at Steve and Sharon Parry's cabin near Alpine Wyoming. We got to go rafting, which is always a blast. Unlike Matt, I will now post a picture.

I believe that is a picture of me guiding, and missing Kahuna. Thank you Steve and Sharon for the hospitality.

We did make it up to Jackson to eat and buy some candy. I'm not really sure why Jackson is so cool, but it is, and that's comming from the Bubs.

Our kids just loved the cabins and all the different people they got to play with. Ella loved the stairs until she fell down them. Seriously, kids shouldn't be able to walk until they can safely negotiate stairs.

In conclusin, I wish that I could go down the river every day.

Your friend, Bubs

PS Thanks also to Matt Parry, for telling us how to get a Lenovo tablet computer for way cheap. Ange has needed a laptop for some time, and she loves it.

Sun Diego

I just got back from San Diego. That is where my work sent me for yet another conference. As destination cities go, San Diego isn't too bad. I was shocked to find that people in my group wanted to go to Old Town, or the beach, or Little Italy, or the Naval Yard, or Sea World, or the San Diego Zoo, or Balboa Park or Phantom of the Opera, when the Padres were in town. I went to 3 games vs. the Diamondbacks and almost got to see a perfect game on Tuesday. That would have been sweet.

Plus not to mention that it was dollar hot dog and dollar drinks at the park for the month of July. On Monday and Tuesday, I had two hot dogs and a lemonade for dinner. On Wednesday, I pulled off a hat trick with 3 hot dogs. My total hot dog consumption in San Diego = 7. And they were pretty good hot dogs. (I had to work up my hot dog tolerance -- the first night, those hot dogs stayed with me until noon the next day.)

Also, for a good one, while I was in the ticket line, I was talking to a San Diegan, and he said how he moved into town, and sold his car, and how much money he's saving. Then I said "What do you do if you want to go on vacation?" He said: "I live in San Diego, why would I want to go on vacation?" I thought that was a good point.

Too bad that the Padres had a day off on Thursday. That meant I had to find something else to do. That something else was to go to Pacific Beach and ride bikes. Others in our group tried to talk me into surfing. I've been fooled by that routine before. I didn't want to try to swim out in the ocean 3 miles, just to not be able to stand up on a surf board. Plus, there was all this panic about a riptide. I was not aware that you could spot a riptide by just looking at the water. Plus how Seinfeld says that the riptide is like the angry bouncer that takes you into the back room and roughs you up a bit. I saw a few people getting roughed up whilst lifeguards in red swimsuits were trying to rescue them. Obviously, those lifeguards were running in slow motion. (Jokes aren't funny if you have to explain them, but the above was a Baywatch reference and a clever one at that.)

We also ate at a place that was way too expensive, but on the bright side, I didn't get totally hammered and make a fool of myself.

That was also the day that Manny Ramirez got traded to the Dodgers. I was thinking it would be sweet if my plane left on Saturday instead of Friday, then I could catch his Dodger debut, but they lost anyway. If anyone doesn't know who Manny Ramirez is, he is the best hitter in baseball, but sometimes does things that aggrivate his team or thier fans or are just plain strange. This is known as 'Manny being Manny'

The following would be a list of good ones that Manny Ramirez has done:

8- Trying to 'pants' David Ortiz at home plate after hitting a game winning homerun.

7- Before Thursday's trade, held up a sign in the dugout during a game that he should be dealt to Green Bay for Brett Favre.

6- Last month, in an attempt to field a ball, tripped over his feet, rolled onto the ball, then tried to go opposite hand behind his back to grab the ball.

5- Went into the Green Monster to take a bathroom break during a coach's visit to the mound and barely returned in time for the next pitch in 2005.
4- Climbed into the Green Monster to make a call on his cellphone during a pitching change July 9.
3- Lost a way expensive diamond earring when he slid into third base in 2002.

2- Made a running catch on a deep fly to left field in Baltimore this season, then high-fived a Red Sox fan then threw to first base to complete a double play.

1- Dived to cut off a relay throw in the middle of the outfield, allowing the Orioles' David Newhan to complete an inside-the-park home run.

Here's hoping the Dodgers start to dominate. And by dominate, I mean score 2 runs.

Bubba

The Glass Box

The other day, Lincoln went to bed super easy. So easy, that as I'm walking out of his room, I said to Ange, "We're going to pay for this later." As it turned out, it would be sooner rather than later. I heard Lincoln trying to open the door an hour and a half later, so I opened up and took a look inside. I saw the face of a mime...

Lincoln had somehow managed to unscrew a big ol' jar of cream, and smear it all over himself. If I'd of only had a glass box, he would have looked perfect in it.

Those who have kids know that only half of the cream actually made it on his body, the other half was smeared in the carpet, on the door, on his drawers and clothes and shoes etc...

Then, we spent until midnight or so cleaning up the mess

Also, I decided to post a gratuitous picture of Ellie...

She hasn't broken any bones, or made huge messes lately, in other words, nothing worthy of news.

Finally, I should report that I threw another guy out of a game. There was a play at third, and the throw was a little short, so the third baseman, moved toward the runner to field the ball, just as the runner slid. The result was a pretty sweet takeout slide by the runner. The ball went up the left field line, so the runner wanted to go to home, but was tangled up with the 3rd baseman. So he did what any other logical human being would do and started to kick the 3rd baseman. I called the ball dead and tossed the runner for fighting. Then he swore, which of course didn't change my mind. He didn't want to leave, so I had to tell him to go like five times, using my 'angry voice', which meant that teams from nieghboring fields came to take a look at the show.

I guess five times wasn't enough, because he decided to go back out and play left field. He said that he thought he wasn't really kicked out. I think the league decided that he was gone for the season after those antics.

That should be it.

Kronos

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

It has been an exciting last 24 hours and by exciting, I mean not the fun kind of exciting but rather the lose tons of sleep kind of exciting. Lincoln decided it would be a good idea to break his collar bone.

Storytime:

It is almost 6 pm yesterday, and I'm getting ready to go umpire some softball games. Lincoln, Angela, and I are horsing around a little before I go. Lincoln is standing on the couch, and reclines back to rest for a little, except there was no back to recline on. So he fell backwards onto the floor and bashed what I thought was the back of his head. We couldn't tell, because the couch got in the way of a perfect view of his landing.

I had to leave, but when I got home at 11, there were Lincoln and Ange, waiting for me. He had slept for a couple of hours, but woke up because his shoulder/neck area hurt him. It is never a good sign when I get home from umpiring, and Link is still up.

We tried putting Lincoln to bed, but he was screaming and saying 'ow' all the time. I told Ange that she could sleep, and I'd take care of him. I made him a bed on our couch, and we watched about 45 min. worth of videos by the time he finally went to sleep at 12:15. I thought this would be a good time to troll for food, but decided I didn't want to take the risk of waking him up, so I went to bed.

About 1:45, Lincoln wakes up, and I get him back to sleep at 2:15 using the above method, the only difference being that I thought I'd sleep on the couch instead of my bed, in case he woke up again.

He did, at around 3:30. Ange and I decided the couch just wasn't comfortable enough, mostly because I had a stiff neck after only sleeping on it for an hour. We tried to put him in his own bed, but he continued to scream at the top of his lungs. We didn't know if this was some twisted ploy to get out of sleeping, or if he was really in that much pain. At 4 am, Ange decided to take him to the hospital.

The doctors weren't sure what to make of the injury, because he was using his right arm, and turning his neck, but it would still hurt him. They decided to take an x-ray, although they thought it was highly unlikely that he had a break.




This is his x-ray, and for all those non-doctors out there, I have circled the break in red. Apparently, your collarbone doesn't randomly jut off at a 45 degree angle.

Anyway, everyone was surprised that it was broken, because there was no swelling, and Link had been using his arm. They wrapped his right arm up in a sling, which has made Lincoln happy, because it doesn't hurt so much, and has made me happy, because he's now forced to use his left hand for everything. If we can only get him to throw a 95 mph fastball with that left arm, we'll be set for life, and gas prices can rise as high as they want.

So Lincoln is exploring this new one handed way of life, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon, and stop falling down. If he doesn't, then we got some Lortab for him. He's supposed to have his arm in a sling for 2-3 weeks, hopefully, it will be off by the time we go to Idaho in early August.

In other news, I spent the last week in Atlanta. I got to visit with Steph and Mike Smith, and they showed me a pretty good time. I took Ella, so she could see her cousins, and she really enjoyed the trip, with the exception of throwing up fruit punch on me just as we're boarding our plane in Atlanta.

Far be it for me to complain about something, so I decided to make a pro and con list about the effects of humidity before I form an opinion.

Humidity pros

• The sun doesn't seem to beat down as hard because there's so much water in the air.
• You don't have to water the lawn.
• All sorts of things grow.
• The water in the air has a moderating effect on temperature.

Humidity cons

• All sorts of things grow.
• You are always sweating.
• 85 degrees is really hot.*
• You feel like you live in a warm, wet blanket.
• It makes you want to stay inside all day.
• There are a hundred times more creepy insects.
• Demon Crickets.
• The misters at Six Flags aren't as effective.

After analyzing the data, I'd say you must be clinically insane to want to live on the east coast. That is all

Bubs-Bad

*Maracaibo's average temperature was above 110, with humidity, so if anyone thinks I'm whining, then go to Maracaibo and live for two years. Otherwise, you can blow it out your ear.