It seems it has been a while since I’ve posted an entry. I ‘m still trying to recover from that BYU game. How is it that refs always know who I’m rooting for, and manage to lose games for my favorite teams? I’m willing to bet that most of us could score on Plaisted if no rules apply. This wouldn’t have happened if BYU had just blown them out like they should have.
On to the World Baseball Classic. Good one how Canada beat the US 8-6. Unfortunately, that led a certain Canadian I know to believe that Canada is better than the US. Then Canada doesn’t even advance past the first round.
So… I decided to make a list on why Canada Sucks
12- The Canadian Football League – I dare anyone to name one improvement these guys made on real football.
11- Celine Dion – pretty much self explanatory.
10- They have crappy bacon – It’s true.
9- Non-existent military – I think me and Pirate Joe could take over the place armed with a Sharpie and a Peanut Butter Sandwich. Who's going to stop us? The Mounties?
9a- Where were these guys in World War 1 and World War 2? They probably didn’t see Hitler as a threat, because who would want to take over that place?
8- The Toronto Maple Leafs… Isn’t plural for ‘leaf’ leaves? Not that I'm big on spelling, but you'd think they'd bother to spell their team name right.
7- 13th grade – Yes, they go to 13 grades… that’s the rumor.
6- Cost of living is through the roof
5- The street signs don’t tell you what you can’t do (as in ‘no left turn’) they only tell you what is permissible. Mike Smith has my back.
4- 70% income tax – and for what? So they can have a crappy heath care system?
3- Worst weather in the world
2- Gay Marriage
1- Their monopoly money is worthless. (Remember when Homer went to Canada, and was bribing people nonstop for ‘1 American dollar’?)
That should just about wrap things up. The US vs. Japan game is starting right now. I’m going to get on the internet, so Brett can’t watch.
Paul Riser
12 comments:
Dear Bubs and Ange,
I have a blog site now. I hope you'll check it out. It is at maysenmarie.blogspot.com. How is Lincoln doing? Is he old enough to walk yet? And run away from Aunt Ange's diapers that she puts on him? See you when I come to Utah. Good-bye
Arg! Ye scurvy Canucks, prepare to be boarded! But avast, I got hungry and ate me sandwich, and the sharpie too, so we'll be taking ya with a piece of chewing gum and a jelly donut. Har..
Pirate Joe, I'm down for an invasion. When we conquer the place, I'll let you have Quebec and the Frenchies... I'll take Vancouver. John can have Toronto, Brett can have Edminton, and Matt can take the 'Northwest Territories'. Mike, I would give you Montreal, but I already promised it to Pirate Joe.
Bubs...you can give Montreal to Pirate Joe. I don't want it now that the Expos are gone.
Well, we can't very well march on Washington DC -- George W. might have something to say about that... unless the entire army is out mopping cement. Maybe I could give you Winnepeg...
That's cool that I get Northwest Territories and I don't even have to do anything while piratejoe actually participates in the invasion and has to take Quebec. I'm not complaining or anything, I just hope that piratejoe is happy with the arrangement.
I'll take your dare, Bubs. The one improvement Canadian Football has made is Ben Cahoon. Best receiver ever.
Bubs, I would like to congratulate you on the Toronto Maple Leafs observation. I can't believe I have not noticed that before. Plus, remember when Conan O'brien and Triumph the Insult Comment Dog caused an international incident in Canada.
After Canada beat USA, some writer on mlb.com wrote: Canada has always been a much more advanced society, now they can say they are advanced in baseball. Something to that effect -- my question... Does anyone actually think Canada is an advanced society, or do they just say that to keep the Cunnucks from comming down here and annoying us by saying 'eh' all the time? I would measure the advancedness of a society on technological achievements, not by acceptance of gays or al-queida.
Isn't it Triumph the Insult Comic Dog? At least that's what I've always thought.
It is Comic Dog, I can't believe I didn't notice that.
I have obviously spent far too much time away from Conan. That's embarrassing.
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