Hallelujah

Ella has reached the most important milestone of a young life. She has reached 18 months of age, which means she finally goes to the nursery on Sunday.

If you don't go to church, or haven't ever had a child between 12-18 months in age, I don't think you could possibly know the relief I feel at this moment.

I had to celebrate by taking this picture. I think taking it through a dark window caused it to lose some of it's quality.

The bishop's wife wondered why I was taking pictures of the nursery. She asked if I was trying to get "evidence". I told her yes, because I didn't want to tell her it was going on my blog.

Boredom... the bloggers workshop

My fantasy football league has entered the playoffs. This year, I actually made them. I am playing Matt otherwise known as "The Bloodsucking Ticks". I am winning by 16.5 going into tonight, but Matt has his kicker playing the Monday Night game.

You would think under such intense conditions, I'd be watching the Monday Night game, but no... it's on cable now. Instead of watching the NFL, I'm watching the AFL. That's right, Australian Rules Football on channel 9-2.

It's been a pretty good game between the Swans and the Kangaroos. The refs have made some pretty bad calls. For example. The ref called a behind for the 'roos, when it was clearly a goal. The other ref made up for that bad call though by awarding a goal to the 'roos, when the guy didn't kick it in time.

Yesterday, we went to grandma's house, and helped set up her tree while Ange studied Chemistry. This is a grainy picture taken on my cell phone of Lincoln and Ella playing in the Christmas Tree box, with their aunt Karen.


This is one of Ange's favorite pictures. It was taken a couple of months ago at her aunt's cabin in Idaho. I think she likes it because Lincoln looks so old and mature.

Angela's grandma (dad's side) died last week. She (Phyllis) was a nice lady, almost queen like, but she was in so much pain. The first time I met Phyllis was in church at the old fifth ward. My dad had moved out by then, but Clark, Ange's brother was being confirmed. I sat next to her grandma, and was doing the usual shaking my leg routine. Before I knew it, her grandma's hand clamps down on my leg. I guess she didn't like the constant shaking. It was more jarring than anything.

I'm glad they moved up to Utah for the last few years of her life, and I'm glad that she got to see her great grandchildren. Until last week, Ella and Lincoln had a higher percentage of great grandparents alive than grandparents. And here's another stat for you. Of the 120 decedents of Ange's great grandma and great grandpa, Phyllis was the first one to die. Ange sure has the long life genes... to bad she married someone seven years older than her that insists on drinking tons of eggnog.

I'd better hurry and see if the Swans pulled this one off.

A disturbing development

Earlier this year, on April Fools, we had our minivan broken into so someone could steal our DVD player. Details are here. We have acquired another DVD player, also with two screens, after enduring a summer without said player. It was a nightmare, and I will tip my cap to those parents who raised children without a DVD player in the car. My cap gets untipped to you guys now that I remember that you didn't put your children in car seats, but rather, let them roam all over the place whilst driving.


Anyway, Lincoln will tell Ange from the car seat to push play on the DVD. This is usually how the conversation goes: "Mommy, push play!" Mommy then pushes play. Then Lincoln says: "Daddy, die!" I am usually stunned by this development, because I've been innocently driving, minding my own business.


I figured I should try to post pictures at least once a month. I didn't realize that kids grew up, but after some of the comments when I last posted pictures, you'd think nobody recognized my children anymore.

Just a word to the wise: if you blow up the above picture, you might spot a booger forming under Link's right nostril. If that's going to gross you out, you might not want to blow up the picture.

Lincoln loves abc's and numbers more than I thought imaginable. He goes around singing the alphabet song now, with a few omissions. He's known letter sounds and how to sign them since he was barely 1. He can recognize and spell a few words too. Among the notables are: Lincoln, Ella, Mom, Dad, zoo, cat, and his all time favorite, happy.

He also likes to change our alarm clock's time. So far I haven't shown up to work an hour early or late but stay tuned...

My little girl is awesome at ping pong.


My favorite part about the bottom picture is how I whited out our license plate. If anyone needs training on how to use 'Paint', then let me know. My other favorite part is how my girl has outgrown the huge jacket we bought for her only a couple of months ago. Geez.

Luckily, said jacket was purchased at DI for a cool $3.

In conclusion, it's hard to take the kids together to Costco, because they both want to push the cart. This necessitates us getting two carts. But if there is only one of us, Lincoln usually ends up being disappointed.

For a very strange one, we don't have this problem at Wal-mart* because our kids don't want to push shopping carts at Wal-mart*, only at Costco.

A mystery solved...

Earlier this year, like in August, I had left for school, and Ange was getting ready to go. She took a shower, and set Lincoln up with something to do. Lincoln has the attention span of the average Obamanicac (cheap shots are always welcome), so of course he looked for something else to do.

He has got some cooking skillz, and yes I did spell it with a 'z'. So he opened up some Children's Tylenol, found some Kool-Aid in the pantry, and mixed it all together into one gooey mess on the floor. By the time Ange got out of the shower, our boy had licked a good portion of Kool-Aid mixed Tylenol off the floor.

She had to call poison control, which explains the lack of her taking a picture. He is still alive, so unless ODing on Tylenol kicks in 3 months later, I think we're fine.

But there was something strange about the whole incident. We were pretty sure we had put the lid back on the Tylenol. I mean, it's not like we have open bottles of Tylenol floating around the house all the time.

Then yesterday, Ange witnessed Lincoln opening a baby proof bottle of Tylenol. The boy is 3 years old, and he has already outsmarted the baby proof cap. What's next? Is he going to figure out how to undo the child safety lock on our car doors? Maybe he'll be able to get past the little plug stoppers that keep him from electrocuting himself. Perhaps he'll learn how to undo his seat belt. Needless to say, this is a bad turn of events. With how tall he is, and how smart he is, we've lost all our bar space. I suppose we're going to have to put medicine in the medicine cabinet from now on.

In other crappy news, BYU lost to Utah 48-24. I can't believe how good Brian Johnson played and how bad Max Hall played. I think the turning point of the game would be BYU's inability to recover Utah's and their own fumble. If they get both those, I'm convinced the running game would have been a bigger factor, and may have changed the complexion of the game. After all, BYU got 200+ yards on the ground.

Oh well, there's always basketball season and next year.

The end

An artist and his medium

Warning: This is a picture post. If you don't like to look at pictures of my cute kids, then do not proceed. You know who you are.

So, Lincoln found some of those paints that come in huge bottles, and used our kitchen as his canvas. It took hours to clean up, but at least Ange had the presence of mind to snap a few photos. (Note to the kids, 'snap' used to be what it sounded like to take pictures. Now with digital cameras, it's more of a beep.) He is a pretty good boy, you can see where he tried to clean up the purple paint on the ground.



This is Lincoln at Cornbelly's, one of the few places where he can jump without his parents thinking he's a weirdo.

Just wanted to prove to everybody that Ella's a little princess.
Leaves are fun to play in for little boys. Leaves are not fun to rake up. Fortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard. Unfortunately, we have a huge tree in our front yard.

Little girls like leaves too, but usually their brothers get all the attention.

Sometimes, leaves need to be cleaned out of little girls' hair.

I'm pretty sure Lincoln isn't a monkey looking for food in that last picture, but I do wonder about that boy sometimes.

Kermit

I should probably stop neglecting this blog

As mentioned in the Parry Post, I will be conducting a poll. Hopefully it will be up and running just to the right. You should exercise your right to vote, unless, of course, you don't know what you're talking about and then you'd just ruin it for everybody. Yes we can.

Also, we were lucky enough to get to spend 3 grand to keep our house from flooding. The good news is that our basement doesn't flood with every rain storm. Now we can focus on finishing the basement. Yes we can.

In conclusion, I think fry sauce is the grossest thing to have to clean up. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that most mayo based products are nasty after they sit there for 5 days. Milk isn't as bad, the smell can be bad, but at least it comes out as a solid block. I should post a list of worst foods to have to clean up. Yes we can.

Ella might have pink eye, so those reading this post should go and wash your hands, and not pick at your eye. Yes we can.

The Bubs

The big one

So I just finished a post, was getting ready to post it, and lost the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad if my keyboard didn't miss every fifth letter. The temptation was to not post, but as you can see, I'm toughing it out. (Bolded letters in this post were pushed on the keyboard, but didn't register on the computer. We need a new keyboard.)

I need to figure out some way to upload a file so others can download. I was thinking of going through the Parry Wiki, but I need a refresher. If only I had a cousin that was good with computers that could provide said refresher...

School is back in session, which as given me the chance to complain about things that I don't like about my current job. The list is pretty short when compared with the same list when I was at the junior high.

1. My room is constantly 90+ degrees.

2. During my second period class on A days, I have to teach 3 different subjects.

On the good news front, I am raising money by selling water. 50 cents for a watter bottle seems reasonable to me. Also, I won the balloon race thing for the faculty in an assembly today. By won, I mean that I was the last one to cross the line thus ensuring victory.

We decided that we will only go on vacations if they can be two weeks long. Such a vacation was recently had. We_spent the first week or so at Angela's aunt's cabin near Island Park. Very nice spot indeed. Needless to say, much fun was had on the water, and much dominating of Settlers of Catan was done by me.

The second week, we spent at Steve and Sharon Parry's cabin near Alpine Wyoming. We got to go rafting, which is always a blast. Unlike Matt, I will now post a picture.

I believe that is a picture of me guiding, and missing Kahuna. Thank you Steve and Sharon for the hospitality.

We did make it up to Jackson to eat and buy some candy. I'm not really sure why Jackson is so cool, but it is, and that's comming from the Bubs.

Our kids just loved the cabins and all the different people they got to play with. Ella loved the stairs until she fell down them. Seriously, kids shouldn't be able to walk until they can safely negotiate stairs.

In conclusin, I wish that I could go down the river every day.

Your friend, Bubs

PS Thanks also to Matt Parry, for telling us how to get a Lenovo tablet computer for way cheap. Ange has needed a laptop for some time, and she loves it.

Sun Diego

I just got back from San Diego. That is where my work sent me for yet another conference. As destination cities go, San Diego isn't too bad. I was shocked to find that people in my group wanted to go to Old Town, or the beach, or Little Italy, or the Naval Yard, or Sea World, or the San Diego Zoo, or Balboa Park or Phantom of the Opera, when the Padres were in town. I went to 3 games vs. the Diamondbacks and almost got to see a perfect game on Tuesday. That would have been sweet.

Plus not to mention that it was dollar hot dog and dollar drinks at the park for the month of July. On Monday and Tuesday, I had two hot dogs and a lemonade for dinner. On Wednesday, I pulled off a hat trick with 3 hot dogs. My total hot dog consumption in San Diego = 7. And they were pretty good hot dogs. (I had to work up my hot dog tolerance -- the first night, those hot dogs stayed with me until noon the next day.)

Also, for a good one, while I was in the ticket line, I was talking to a San Diegan, and he said how he moved into town, and sold his car, and how much money he's saving. Then I said "What do you do if you want to go on vacation?" He said: "I live in San Diego, why would I want to go on vacation?" I thought that was a good point.

Too bad that the Padres had a day off on Thursday. That meant I had to find something else to do. That something else was to go to Pacific Beach and ride bikes. Others in our group tried to talk me into surfing. I've been fooled by that routine before. I didn't want to try to swim out in the ocean 3 miles, just to not be able to stand up on a surf board. Plus, there was all this panic about a riptide. I was not aware that you could spot a riptide by just looking at the water. Plus how Seinfeld says that the riptide is like the angry bouncer that takes you into the back room and roughs you up a bit. I saw a few people getting roughed up whilst lifeguards in red swimsuits were trying to rescue them. Obviously, those lifeguards were running in slow motion. (Jokes aren't funny if you have to explain them, but the above was a Baywatch reference and a clever one at that.)

We also ate at a place that was way too expensive, but on the bright side, I didn't get totally hammered and make a fool of myself.

That was also the day that Manny Ramirez got traded to the Dodgers. I was thinking it would be sweet if my plane left on Saturday instead of Friday, then I could catch his Dodger debut, but they lost anyway. If anyone doesn't know who Manny Ramirez is, he is the best hitter in baseball, but sometimes does things that aggrivate his team or thier fans or are just plain strange. This is known as 'Manny being Manny'

The following would be a list of good ones that Manny Ramirez has done:

8- Trying to 'pants' David Ortiz at home plate after hitting a game winning homerun.

7- Before Thursday's trade, held up a sign in the dugout during a game that he should be dealt to Green Bay for Brett Favre.

6- Last month, in an attempt to field a ball, tripped over his feet, rolled onto the ball, then tried to go opposite hand behind his back to grab the ball.

5- Went into the Green Monster to take a bathroom break during a coach's visit to the mound and barely returned in time for the next pitch in 2005.
4- Climbed into the Green Monster to make a call on his cellphone during a pitching change July 9.
3- Lost a way expensive diamond earring when he slid into third base in 2002.

2- Made a running catch on a deep fly to left field in Baltimore this season, then high-fived a Red Sox fan then threw to first base to complete a double play.

1- Dived to cut off a relay throw in the middle of the outfield, allowing the Orioles' David Newhan to complete an inside-the-park home run.

Here's hoping the Dodgers start to dominate. And by dominate, I mean score 2 runs.

Bubba

The Glass Box

The other day, Lincoln went to bed super easy. So easy, that as I'm walking out of his room, I said to Ange, "We're going to pay for this later." As it turned out, it would be sooner rather than later. I heard Lincoln trying to open the door an hour and a half later, so I opened up and took a look inside. I saw the face of a mime...

Lincoln had somehow managed to unscrew a big ol' jar of cream, and smear it all over himself. If I'd of only had a glass box, he would have looked perfect in it.

Those who have kids know that only half of the cream actually made it on his body, the other half was smeared in the carpet, on the door, on his drawers and clothes and shoes etc...

Then, we spent until midnight or so cleaning up the mess

Also, I decided to post a gratuitous picture of Ellie...

She hasn't broken any bones, or made huge messes lately, in other words, nothing worthy of news.

Finally, I should report that I threw another guy out of a game. There was a play at third, and the throw was a little short, so the third baseman, moved toward the runner to field the ball, just as the runner slid. The result was a pretty sweet takeout slide by the runner. The ball went up the left field line, so the runner wanted to go to home, but was tangled up with the 3rd baseman. So he did what any other logical human being would do and started to kick the 3rd baseman. I called the ball dead and tossed the runner for fighting. Then he swore, which of course didn't change my mind. He didn't want to leave, so I had to tell him to go like five times, using my 'angry voice', which meant that teams from nieghboring fields came to take a look at the show.

I guess five times wasn't enough, because he decided to go back out and play left field. He said that he thought he wasn't really kicked out. I think the league decided that he was gone for the season after those antics.

That should be it.

Kronos

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

It has been an exciting last 24 hours and by exciting, I mean not the fun kind of exciting but rather the lose tons of sleep kind of exciting. Lincoln decided it would be a good idea to break his collar bone.

Storytime:

It is almost 6 pm yesterday, and I'm getting ready to go umpire some softball games. Lincoln, Angela, and I are horsing around a little before I go. Lincoln is standing on the couch, and reclines back to rest for a little, except there was no back to recline on. So he fell backwards onto the floor and bashed what I thought was the back of his head. We couldn't tell, because the couch got in the way of a perfect view of his landing.

I had to leave, but when I got home at 11, there were Lincoln and Ange, waiting for me. He had slept for a couple of hours, but woke up because his shoulder/neck area hurt him. It is never a good sign when I get home from umpiring, and Link is still up.

We tried putting Lincoln to bed, but he was screaming and saying 'ow' all the time. I told Ange that she could sleep, and I'd take care of him. I made him a bed on our couch, and we watched about 45 min. worth of videos by the time he finally went to sleep at 12:15. I thought this would be a good time to troll for food, but decided I didn't want to take the risk of waking him up, so I went to bed.

About 1:45, Lincoln wakes up, and I get him back to sleep at 2:15 using the above method, the only difference being that I thought I'd sleep on the couch instead of my bed, in case he woke up again.

He did, at around 3:30. Ange and I decided the couch just wasn't comfortable enough, mostly because I had a stiff neck after only sleeping on it for an hour. We tried to put him in his own bed, but he continued to scream at the top of his lungs. We didn't know if this was some twisted ploy to get out of sleeping, or if he was really in that much pain. At 4 am, Ange decided to take him to the hospital.

The doctors weren't sure what to make of the injury, because he was using his right arm, and turning his neck, but it would still hurt him. They decided to take an x-ray, although they thought it was highly unlikely that he had a break.




This is his x-ray, and for all those non-doctors out there, I have circled the break in red. Apparently, your collarbone doesn't randomly jut off at a 45 degree angle.

Anyway, everyone was surprised that it was broken, because there was no swelling, and Link had been using his arm. They wrapped his right arm up in a sling, which has made Lincoln happy, because it doesn't hurt so much, and has made me happy, because he's now forced to use his left hand for everything. If we can only get him to throw a 95 mph fastball with that left arm, we'll be set for life, and gas prices can rise as high as they want.

So Lincoln is exploring this new one handed way of life, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon, and stop falling down. If he doesn't, then we got some Lortab for him. He's supposed to have his arm in a sling for 2-3 weeks, hopefully, it will be off by the time we go to Idaho in early August.

In other news, I spent the last week in Atlanta. I got to visit with Steph and Mike Smith, and they showed me a pretty good time. I took Ella, so she could see her cousins, and she really enjoyed the trip, with the exception of throwing up fruit punch on me just as we're boarding our plane in Atlanta.

Far be it for me to complain about something, so I decided to make a pro and con list about the effects of humidity before I form an opinion.

Humidity pros

• The sun doesn't seem to beat down as hard because there's so much water in the air.
• You don't have to water the lawn.
• All sorts of things grow.
• The water in the air has a moderating effect on temperature.

Humidity cons

• All sorts of things grow.
• You are always sweating.
• 85 degrees is really hot.*
• You feel like you live in a warm, wet blanket.
• It makes you want to stay inside all day.
• There are a hundred times more creepy insects.
• Demon Crickets.
• The misters at Six Flags aren't as effective.

After analyzing the data, I'd say you must be clinically insane to want to live on the east coast. That is all

Bubs-Bad

*Maracaibo's average temperature was above 110, with humidity, so if anyone thinks I'm whining, then go to Maracaibo and live for two years. Otherwise, you can blow it out your ear.

Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less

Soon enough Matt is going to be home, and we are going to start a politics blog, so all three of you readers out there won't have to worry about my political rantings anymore, but until then...

About a month ago I signed the petition to the right, I was like the 300,000 or so signer. I would encourage all readers to sign it.

Democrats say that it is only a long term solution, so we shouldn't pursue it, then in the same breath talk about all thier long term solutions.

The fact of the matter is, it's a short term solution to help us have lower energy prices until the long term solutions come online, such as (gasp) nuclear power.

We need to start yesterday... I've already missed one trip to Idaho, and will miss one more in the middle of July because of gas prices. At least we get to come up once in early August.

That is all

Like an old man trying to return soup in a deli

It had to happen, well not really, but it did. Platypi finally lost. We are now 10-1, but in our defense, we only scored 9 runs. Very frustrating. The seventh inning illustrates how bad we were. I led off with a single. We couldn't even get to second base. Yikes. Is this softball or fastpitch?

Anyway, I ran across a few Muppet videos on You Tube. I'll probably post a carefully selected muppet video in my next few posts. The one for today I saw when I was 5 or 6 (maybe 7 or 8, I am bad at judging the age of early childhood memories). I know I wasn't older than 8, because we didn't have the addition in our house done, and I remember laying on a couch in our front room right where the piano would eventually go.

I was sick, and it hurt a lot to laugh. I saw this video, and it struck a nerve. I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to die:




I don't know why I still think that is so funny. Probably because I think way stupid things are funny. Ask Ange.

The End

101 Posts

Yes, I finally got to triple digit posts. I would have mentioned it in my last post, but I didn't realize I was going past the century mark. When I reach post number 525,600, I know a song I can use, not that I would ever consider watching the musical "Rent".

I need to do a list, but I can't think of any topics to do a list on, so hopefully next time.

I can talk about softball. Platypi is 10-0 right now, but our toughest remaining game is this Tuesday. We are playing the 9-1 Salt Lake Blues. We easily beat them last time, so they're going to be wanting some revenge.

In umpiring news, I had quite the night last Wednesday. I had my first multiple ejection night.

Everything was going well until late in the 3rd game. One of the batters swung way soft, and tried to hit the ball into the ground-- hoping for the ol' swinging bunt. That is against the rules in softball, so I called him out. He told me I didn't have to be so 'professional', which was confusing to me since I am getting paid, technically, I am a professional. I told him that we might as well follow the rules, at which point, he said 'You're the sh***" and then repeated it, so I tossed him for arguing with me.

I will admit that I was probably too hasty to throw him out, certainly Treebeard would agree, but I have low tolerance for swearing, especially if it's directed at me.

After the game, Dad shows up, and I tell him how he missed an ejection, he stayed and watched a couple of batters the next game, but left about three minutes too early.

The fifth or sixth batter in the lineup for the visiting team took exception to a strike I called on him. He said that the ball was high because it 'came in at my elbow'. I told him that was a pretty good definition of a strike he just gave me. He continued to argue about the pitch, and I said 'The ball is coming in a 2 miles per hour, so you might as well swing at it.' The next pitch came in over his head, but he decided to swing, intent on proving his point. This would be called putting yourself ahead of the team. Predictably, he popped it up, threw his bat way hard, and said the F word. I tossed him at that point. His main argument was that he has never said the F word his entire life. I told him that he chose a bad time to drop his first ever F-bomb.

I am less than halfway through the year, and I have already tossed the same amount as last year. I need to grow some thicker skin.

Blue Bubs

As I am writing this post, I feel a little sick, so you should all appreciate the effort. Part of the reason I feel sick is because it suddenly got hot, and I umpired 4 games in the middle of the day on Saturday. I don't know why everyone can't wait for it to be hot. As far as I'm concerned, perfect weather is in the 60's with enough rain to let you know it's there, but not enough to cancel baseball/softball games. It's what I like to call Platypi weather.

Speaking of Platypi, we played a doubleheader last Tuesday, which was also my anniversary. We beat the first team 24-3 and the second team 27-8, for a combined 51-11. Yes, we are not happy that we allowed double digit runs over two games, but in good news, we are now 8-0 with six left.

Umpiring this year has been pretty nice, mostly because I think the weather had broken people's spirits. I haden't tossed anyone the whole year, then I suddenly had to toss 2 people on consecutive games, right as the weather started to turn nice. Interesting.

The first guy that I tossed was probably the calmest ejection I've ever had. He popped up, and then threw the bat in disgust so hard that it hit his dugout fence four feet above the ground. After the play I said "Eleven", then he says "Sorry", but not to be detered by his sudden change of heart, I threw him out. As he's crossing in front of me to his dugout he says "My bad." Then the scorekeeper (Bill) had to tell him to leave the park, and he said "I understand." It kind of threw me for a loop, I felt like I was visiting some Bizarro softball field for a while. That was the last game of the night.

The first game of Saturday seemed to be going ok, except for I missed this way obvious call at third. The team argued tons, and as I was replaying it in my mind, I realized that there was no way the runner could have tagged up, but it was too late to change the call. Unlike NBA officials, I did not compound my mistake with an ejection. When the game ended, two teammates started fighting each other. I broke it up, but someone in the crowd yelled "Let them fight." Then one of the people fighting yelled at the fan, saying like 5 f words, so I had to eject him, which means he won't be able to play his next game.

I think after that, everyone was too hot and tired to argue, so there were no further incidents. This all means I'm going to have to update my toss o' meter at the bottom of the page.

Angel Hernandez

Thank You

I thought I had set my other post to post today, but it didn't work, here's the gyst...

64 years ago today, was D-day, the day allied forces sacrificed thousands of lives to storm the beaches at Normandy that eventually led to the end of Nazi occupation. On that day, President Franklin D. Roosevelt offered this prayer:




On this day, remember that faith in God and our country once united the nation, and can do it again.

Thanks to all those of "The Greatest Generation" who sacrificed at home or abroad, so we can enjoy the freedoms we enjoy today. Your bravery, faith, determination and selflessness will surely be missed.

Bubs

The Accident

I was reading a Deseret News article about cell phones in schools. Yes, cell phones are annoying, but I'm going to make sure my kids have one, if we can afford it. In the end, if you have a good kid, they won't be getting in routine trouble, regardless of the technology. As a teacher, I do wish that parents would be better at controlling thier teenager's use of cell phones. I have confiscated a few cell phones in my day.

They can also be helpful, I just don't want to end up like this guy, all over Youtube:



We have a softball game tonight at 9, hopefully, we keep it rollin'. Umpiring has been calm this year, meaning that I haven't kicked anyone out. Last Thursday was close. Runners on the corners, and a double play ball is hit to the 2nd baseman. He flips it to the shortstop covering second, who then tries to relay it on to first, only to be barged into by a non-sliding runner. So, the obvious call is a double play, with the runner starting the play at 3rd being called out since he is the most advanced runner.

The barger had a different idea, and was trying to explain to me at the top of his lungs that he's not out, because he didn't mean to run into the shortstop. My argument was that his team mate probably didn't mean to hit a crappy double play ball to 2nd, but he still had to suffer the consequences.

So, I decided to make a list of other things you have to suffer the consequences for, even if you didn't mean to:

16 - Choosing the wrong line at Wal-mart*.
15 - Attacking a fully functional Death Star.
14 - Rear-ending someone.
13 - Bombing a test.
13a - Bombing the Chinese Embassy.
12 - Stubbing your toe.
11 - Burning popcorn in the microwave.
10 - Voting for a Liberal.
9 - Eating Salmonilla.
8 - Misquoting a Seinfeld line around John.
7 - Going to BYUI instead of BYU regular so you have an excuse to not play on Platypi.
6 - Getting sucked into a Star Trek episode.
5 - Not immediately changing a poopy diaper.
4 - Being a white male.
3 - Watching a Drew Barrymore movie.
2 - Believing that "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit".
1 - Burping in front of Steph.

Yes, I paid the price for #1, to the tune of an aluminum bat to the shins, but that which does not kill you makes you stronger, so I continue to accidently burp in front of Steph.

Out

Elmo

The Bubs being the Bubs

One of the funniest baseball plays I've ever seen was Manny Ramirez (Left Fielder) cutting off his centerfielder, Johnny Damon's throw. Manny was literally 50 feet away, and had to dive to cut it off. This allowed for an in the park homer.

Manny almost topped himself the other day...



Note: this video may not work soon, because Major League Baseball has the copyright. Not sure how those laws work, only that I'm not supposed to copy text books for students unless I posses an equal number of copies of said textbook.

For those who can't see the video, ManRam makes a great catch running backward, runs to the wall, high fives a fan, then throws the ball into the infield to complete the double play. Good one.

In Platypi playing really well right now news, the Platypi is playing pretty well. We won our second game against a team that probably shouldn't be in the upper league, 23-4. It would have been worse had we not gotten sloppy by the 4th inning.

Last Tuesday, we beat our nemisis, Salt Lake Blues, 23-16. Yes, we tend to score 23 runs.

13 days of school left until summer break. Summer break is going to be nice, because we'll be able to sit around and do nothing at home because of gas prices. This, of course, is better than sitting around doing nothing at school, which is what would happen if you forced students into the classroom in July.

Ella is now walking. I consider a child able to walk if they can make it 15 feet. This is not good news. Better news would be that she stays in a swing chair until she's 22 or so. Looks like we'll have two kids to chase around now.

The End
Trogdor

Lincoln the Flopper

So we have these personal leave days that we get each year. There are 3 such days, and if we don't use them, then they go away. If we don't use any, then we get $180 at the end of the year. I was forced to use one the very first week of the year to attend Natalie's wedding. Yes, she was very inconsiderate to plan it during the school year. Now, I am using my final 2.

I wanted to go to Idaho, but that was before I remembered that gas isn't $1.32 a gallon anymore. Idaho will have to wait until early August. So, it looks like I'm going to fill the first half of the day blogging.

Platypi is now 1-0. We won our first game on the strength of two Brett in the park homeruns, and one from John. Our game last Tuesday was cancelled because they told us it was at 7, and the other team it was at 6. Next Tuesday, they told us it was at 7:30. They should find a way to write down all the game times for the entire season, and give it to us at once. When they do, I'll post the schedule here for any interested parties.

Lincoln has taken up the annoying habit of throwing himself on the ground then pretending he's hurt. He is a pretty good flopper, he reminds me of Robert Horry:



Anyway, no sympathy is given by me, which can be uncomfortable if done in public.

In conclusion, the Jazz had better win Friday.

Sick Day

So last weekend was one for the books. Lincoln pulled off a 104 degree fever. For those keeping score at home, that is exactly .1 degrees below the panic point according to the doctor we took him to.

There were some pros to him being so hot. Instead of using an electric blanket to warm up the bed, we just took Lincoln and passed him a couple of times over the sheets, and they were nice and warm.

Con-wise, he was pretty much a brute all day long. Plus, I thought sick kids slept longer. Not Lincoln, he slept less. Also, he was constipated like none other, and on top of that had cancors breaking out all over his tougue.

He was much happier on Sunday, but that night was a nightmare -- for me, and probably for him. I slept a grand total of 2 hours. I finally got to bed at midnight, and at 2, I wake up to find Lincoln sleeping next to me, in my sleep deprived state, I assumed he was falling off the bed, and I grabbed him, that woke him up, so then he just kicked me the rest of the night until I finally got up with him.

Monday at school was pretty hard, and I decided that I had to take a sick day just to recover from the weekend. If I have any more weekends like this, I'm going to need that social security check the government just told me about way before I'm 65.

False Start

Today was our first Platypi game, and predictably, it was rained out, or more accurately, snowed out. Seriously, I know taxes are due today, and Lincoln (Abraham, not my boy) got shot today, but that doesn't mean that the day should be all bad, after all, it is Jackie Robinson day.



My favorite part about the video clip above, besides the cheesy anouncer was how the ump signalled safe. Pretty funny.

The net result is that we're still 0-0.

Also, I got May 1st and 2nd off of school, and we're wondering how we should spend our 4 day weekend... here's the catch, we don't want to spend any money. So here is a list of ideas I've come up with, feel free to add any suggestions as you see fit.

13-Spend an entire night voting for David Archeleta and Brooke White on American Idol.
12-Think of a new nickname so Matt doesn't have to use 'Darth'
11-Think up names Brett and Rachel can name thier baby.
10-Watch the sun rise, then travel across the sky, then set, repeat 3 times.
9-Travel to Draper, mooch off Dad for 4 days.
8-Make up a new letter of the alphabet
7-Go to work and look through my classroom window the entire day.
6-Try to figure out the difference between a pig and a hog.
5-Teach Lincoln how to drive a car.
4-Think up cheesy sayings like 'Don't hate the player, hate the game' to use on my classes when I get back.
3-Teach Lincoln a word besides 'go' or 'ball'.
2-Try to figure out why the brand name Philips only has one 'l' in it.
1-Choose a new favorite number since 14 is apparently a white supremisist number.

We play DeMay next week, seems like we always start the year off playing them.

That time of year again...

In Platypi Softball news, we are currently 0-0, since we have played no games, but already, two of our better and more reliable players have backed out. This is akin to Tyler going to BYU (Idaho) instead of BYU (regular) so he has an excuse to not play on our team. Also, the only guy on our team who owns a bat broke said bat, so we are now batless. Those who haven't played softball in the last ten years probably don't know how important the bat has become.

Quick example: The Bubs with a $30 bat hits balls just past infielders and in front of outfielders on a solid hit. If The Bubs is swinging hard, then a solid hit will carry to an outfielder provided that (a) he was playing a little shallow, or (b) he took several steps in. Sometimes The Bubs is lucky enough to hit the right field line allowing for 23 year old Bubs to get a triple, but 35 year old Bubs pulls up at 2nd.

The Bubs with a $250 bat on a solid hit can hit the ball over the fence like he did September 21, 2006, in which he hit a grandslam that should have all but won the game for us, except we were pretty bad on defense that day... most likely due to the other teams ownership of $250 bats.

So now anyone can hit a homerun if they plunk down the 250 to buy a nice bat. This has had a few unintended consequences.

1. Watching 12 homers per inning is now not as fun as it used to be, so most leagues have homerun rules that award the defense an out if the alotted number of homers is exceded.

2. Teams that have more money end up being more competitive than they should be.

3. The pitcher now walks a thin line between life and death, as they are required to slowly lob a ball that could get hit back at them with less reaction time. Leagues have combatted this by allowing pitchers to stand back as many as six feet behind the pitching plate to allow for greater reaction time if desired. The Bubs always combatted this by pitching the ball, and then running backwards.

4. The bats have such thin walls (which is what allows so much more energy to be transferred to the ball, making it go so much further) that they only last a couple of years, meaning that every couple of years, it's necessary to plunk another 250 down.

Now, we are without our sweet bat, so who knows what's going to happen. Personally, I wish they'd force everyone to use the old school dead bats, then a homer would actually mean something. Yes, I wish that because I don't usually hit homers, and I usually am pitching.

If you are still with me, congrats, our first two games are on the 15th and 22nd at 7 and 8 pm respectively.

Yahoo! posted a list of the 10 most anticipated movies this summer. I wish someone could tell me what the facination is with Batman, I mean seriously, has there ever been a more remade series than Batman? And they are all boring. You can bet I won't be seeing this retread. If anyone can give me one good reason why there should be another boring Batman movie, then feel free to comment. Just know that you will be mocked by all those who have the ability to think. On a related note, could we stop talking about Heath Ledger? Let's get back to Brittany Spears and Olsen Twin news.

Of course, the movies that are comming out this summer have very little impact on my life. It is such a production now to go to a movie. As it turns out, I'd much rather spend the money on diapers and formula. On a final note, I will rank last year's movies that I saw from best to worst:

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Out

April Fools

So for the worst April Fools joke ever, somebody got into our minivan and stole our portable DVD player. Those who have children know how valuable this item is. Ours had two screens, one that could be strapped to a head rest, so Lincoln could watch a movie and stay quiet. Now in the car it's one constant "Uh Oh" from him.

It was also the worst April Fools joke ever, because it happened on March 31st. Apparently, the crooks forgot to honor leap year this year. The only other thing stolen was a CD of Spanish songs that I had. Our English CD's were left alone. This would lead me to believe that the crook speaks Spanish. I don't want to jump to conclusions here, but there is a possibility that if Bush had taken care of the border, then we'd still have our DVD player. Of course, the crook could just as easily have been a return missionary that happens to speak Spanish. Either way, as John has said, I'd rather someone come up and punch me in the face than steal from me.

In second to worst April Fools day joke news, someone set off not one, but two stink bombs in my hallway today. The first one was set off around 9, the next around 11. Yes, I still have a taste in my mouth.

For those interested in Platypi, our opponents were announced today. Among other notable foes, we will be playing DeMay Plumming and the Salt Lake Blues.

Also, today is H1-B day. It is the first day that highly skilled workers can apply for a visa to work in the United States. Read here for more info. A good first step to immigration policy would be to allow more highly skilled workers into the US, but don't just believe me, a majority of Americans (63 to 29) believes this also.

Sorry for waxing political, maybe I should start another blog... of course, I haven't been able to nurture the one blog I do have...

Rollie Fingers

For Matt only... let me know if this got emailed to you, I'm not sure if I did the email setting thing right, and if you don't want my blog emailed to you, let me know that too.

hace mucho tiempo...

So we are back from our extended vacation. I'm sure I've lost all my subscribers by now, but it was more a test of the faithfulness of my readers. We shall see.

Anyway, it seems that a little baby, a 2 year old, and a job have pushed blogging down to a lower priority... If I could only access my blog from school, then there would be not stop pontificating on my part, and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

In the news section of this blog, my work is going to make me an AVID instructor, which pretty much means that they are going to send me to San Diego over the summer. Earlier in the summer, I am getting sent by my work to Atlanta. As you can imagine, Ange is thrilled about that. Hopefully, much fun and zero learning will be had on these trips.

Ange is in school, and is very busy herself. I know that she's way busy, when I watch the kids for 20+ hours per week. Personally, I'll be glad when school is over, and if anyone says that you never stop learning, they are wrong. I stopped learning a long time ago, which explains why I just gave Lincoln apple sauce without a bib