So if I gave you three guesses to figure out what the Rocket is that I'm referencing, some would guess the ride at Lagoon. Others would guess a pitcher that can't make up his mind about retirement. Other's might make jokes about NASA employees. Everyone would be wrong. The Rocket is what I call Rocket Park in Bountiful. I usually umpire once a year there, and last night was the night.
There was a huge thunderstorm that came through Salt Lake, and I had quite a nice view from The Rocket... it faces southwest, and is kind of high up. I kept thinking how it had to be close to our house in West Valley, and I was right. Ange said it was quite the show... you could've read a newspaper by the lighting light.
Anyway, I had to umpire games in between enjoying the lightshow, and I got to toss someone, so that made my night. An overthrow at first base, and the runner decided to go. I had worked my way to about the pitchers mound. When I saw the runner going, I got as close as I could. I ended up about 5 feet away from the most obvious tag out at second. The runner knew he was out, and didn't even try to slide.
The 3rd base coach disagreed, and while walking in, yelled 'You can't see tags, you can't see the plate, you can't see ****'. I said 'Do you know what? You're done.' and made my signature tossing action. He then had the best comeback of all time: 'Well, you should be done.' After much laughing by his team was done, he left the ballpark.
We had a nice trip up to Idaho. It's kind of a Bummer, because that was our big trip for the summer, and now it's over. I now have less than a month before school begins. We enjoyed our all the time we got to spend with our family, and certainly enjoyed the cabin and the river trip. I'd have to say that Steve and Sharon put on a pretty good show.
This time down, I was in the boat that, at John's insistence, took a Ghandi style approach to water fighting. We tried the best we could to not react, and everyone just figured we were too boring to soak, so we got left alone. Then Matt had a brilliant plan, which was to steal the other boat's water cannons, but his brilliance was only short lived, because he only stole two of the three, thus leaving them with a weapon. Too bad.
We are hoping to be able to make it up to the cabin one more time around Labor Day. We sure are lucky to have such good family.
In conclusion, Lincoln just woke up.
Ms. Flint
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
RCA SUX
Yesterday was my birthday. Happy birthday to me. For my birthday, I got to sit at the DMV (It's a leper colony down there) for an hour because I just realized that my drivers licence was about to expire.
While renewing my licence, I got the opportunity to register to vote. We've moved since the last general election, so I took advantage. When they asked me party affiliation, I was seriously considering marking democrat so I could vote for the worst democrat candidate in the primarys. Then I realized that the worst candidate is going to win anyway, so I just marked republican.
On Monday, I went to see Harry Potter. Angela's mom had free tickets to a sneek peek showing, and invited me, then followed it up with the new Harry Potter book for my birthday. I'm not one of those crazy fans that runs around in robes with thier wands drawn, but I have to admit that I like the Harry Potter books, and I've seen in the schools how the books have at least gotten more kids interested in reading. Anywhooo.
I got to see Harry Potter 5, which is pretty good as far as movies go. If you like Harry Potter, you'll like the movie. If you are one of those people that think it's cool to not like things that other people like, then it will be easy to pretend that you did't like the movie. If you truly don't like Harry Potter, then why are you going to the movie in the first place? I'm going to go ahead and give the movie 3 1/2 wands out of 5. It got knocked down half a wand because of the predictable slow motion, soundless Harry Potter scream when a main character dies. I was pretty sure that was going to happen.
The best part of the movie was that I got to see the trailer for the new "Get Smart" movie. Check out this link, click on 'Watch the trailer', and tell me it isn't the funniest thing you've seen in a while. Plus, Steve Carell is about as close as we're going to get to Don Adams.
If I had a personalized license plate, it would read RCA SUX. Now sit down and listen to the story of why:
About 3 months ago, Lincoln was obsessed with the garbage. Around the same time, our remote for our semi new TV which has a DVD player built in, disappeared. We're pretty sure Link decided to throw it away.
I tried to find universal remotes that work, but I couldn't get them configured right. Finally, I concluded that if it is too hard for me to do, then it must not work with our TV.
My next idea was to go to Wal*Mart and pillage a remote from an unsold unit. I decided that was an amoral approach. So wanting to do the right thing, I called up RCA, the maker of our TV, and ordered a new remote.
8 to 10 business days later, a package arrives. I am disappointed, because the remote looks nothing like our old one, and even more disappointed that it doesn't work. Wanting my wife to be able to change the channels whilst holding the baby, I called up RCA, and informed them that they gave me the wrong remote. They asked me if I had batteries in the remote. I ignore the question because I'm not an idiot. They agree to send me the correct remote.
10 business days later, no remote arrives, so I call them. They said they were just kidding and for real were going to send the remote. They want to send me the exact same one they sent before, even though it isn't the right remote. I tell them that it isn't going to work, and 8 to 10 business days later, I'm vindicated as the second remote they send me doesn't work.
So I call them, and they tell me I have to get it at an authorized dealer, because they don't have the remote I need. I then ask for my money back. I get sent on the biggest wild goose chase in history. After calling six different numbers, I am informed that it is impossible for RCA to refund me the money, because thier policy states that they can only give refunds within 30 days of purchase of the product. I inform them that my policy is that when I buy something from someone, I expect it to work, or I get a refund. Plus, I did call them within 30 days, but they stalled me off by sending out the same remote that didn't work in the first place.
The conversations pretty much ended with a good old fashioned scream down by one of thier tech support guys who got mad with my response to if I had batteries in the remote. I told him I'm not stupid, my IQ is 142 and I could apply for MENSA if I wanted to. That is stretching the truth a little, my IQ last time I got tested was 136, and of course, having a high IQ doesn't necesarrily mean that you're not stupid.
Anyway, I spent 4 hours of my life arguing with these guys, but now I got the government to go after them, we'll see. The moral of the story is don't buy RCA products, because they have horrible customer service.
Aesop
While renewing my licence, I got the opportunity to register to vote. We've moved since the last general election, so I took advantage. When they asked me party affiliation, I was seriously considering marking democrat so I could vote for the worst democrat candidate in the primarys. Then I realized that the worst candidate is going to win anyway, so I just marked republican.
On Monday, I went to see Harry Potter. Angela's mom had free tickets to a sneek peek showing, and invited me, then followed it up with the new Harry Potter book for my birthday. I'm not one of those crazy fans that runs around in robes with thier wands drawn, but I have to admit that I like the Harry Potter books, and I've seen in the schools how the books have at least gotten more kids interested in reading. Anywhooo.
I got to see Harry Potter 5, which is pretty good as far as movies go. If you like Harry Potter, you'll like the movie. If you are one of those people that think it's cool to not like things that other people like, then it will be easy to pretend that you did't like the movie. If you truly don't like Harry Potter, then why are you going to the movie in the first place? I'm going to go ahead and give the movie 3 1/2 wands out of 5. It got knocked down half a wand because of the predictable slow motion, soundless Harry Potter scream when a main character dies. I was pretty sure that was going to happen.
The best part of the movie was that I got to see the trailer for the new "Get Smart" movie. Check out this link, click on 'Watch the trailer', and tell me it isn't the funniest thing you've seen in a while. Plus, Steve Carell is about as close as we're going to get to Don Adams.
If I had a personalized license plate, it would read RCA SUX. Now sit down and listen to the story of why:
About 3 months ago, Lincoln was obsessed with the garbage. Around the same time, our remote for our semi new TV which has a DVD player built in, disappeared. We're pretty sure Link decided to throw it away.
I tried to find universal remotes that work, but I couldn't get them configured right. Finally, I concluded that if it is too hard for me to do, then it must not work with our TV.
My next idea was to go to Wal*Mart and pillage a remote from an unsold unit. I decided that was an amoral approach. So wanting to do the right thing, I called up RCA, the maker of our TV, and ordered a new remote.
8 to 10 business days later, a package arrives. I am disappointed, because the remote looks nothing like our old one, and even more disappointed that it doesn't work. Wanting my wife to be able to change the channels whilst holding the baby, I called up RCA, and informed them that they gave me the wrong remote. They asked me if I had batteries in the remote. I ignore the question because I'm not an idiot. They agree to send me the correct remote.
10 business days later, no remote arrives, so I call them. They said they were just kidding and for real were going to send the remote. They want to send me the exact same one they sent before, even though it isn't the right remote. I tell them that it isn't going to work, and 8 to 10 business days later, I'm vindicated as the second remote they send me doesn't work.
So I call them, and they tell me I have to get it at an authorized dealer, because they don't have the remote I need. I then ask for my money back. I get sent on the biggest wild goose chase in history. After calling six different numbers, I am informed that it is impossible for RCA to refund me the money, because thier policy states that they can only give refunds within 30 days of purchase of the product. I inform them that my policy is that when I buy something from someone, I expect it to work, or I get a refund. Plus, I did call them within 30 days, but they stalled me off by sending out the same remote that didn't work in the first place.
The conversations pretty much ended with a good old fashioned scream down by one of thier tech support guys who got mad with my response to if I had batteries in the remote. I told him I'm not stupid, my IQ is 142 and I could apply for MENSA if I wanted to. That is stretching the truth a little, my IQ last time I got tested was 136, and of course, having a high IQ doesn't necesarrily mean that you're not stupid.
Anyway, I spent 4 hours of my life arguing with these guys, but now I got the government to go after them, we'll see. The moral of the story is don't buy RCA products, because they have horrible customer service.
Aesop
Friday, July 06, 2007
It's the end of the world as I know it.
Did I mention last time that when I put in sod, that I also put in a fire pit? Well, I did, which means I have to think of ways to use it, so it doesn't become a waste.
Ange and I were sitting in our room while Lincoln played somewhere else. Suddenly, we hear him start fiddling with the doorknob, and hear a satisfied grunt as the door opens, and he comes running in. Somehow, I don't think our lives will ever be the same.
We're getting excited for everyone to come down, and also excited to run the river, seeing as how we've had something like 40 days in a row with 100 or above temperatures. The following is a list of my predictions of what will happen. As usual, when my predection becomes true, I will shout 'prediction' for all to hear.
12 - John will somehow end up in a life threatning situation.
11 - Matt will get way lucky at some game... most likely Pillage and Plunder.
10 - Mike will finally choose a favorite baseball team and stick with it.
9 - Brett will make a hole in one on the 3rd hole at Uncle George's. (This is only a ploy to get him to come down, as he knows how accurate my predictions are.)
8 - Steph will get mad at someone for burping.
7 - The Bubs will try to play wiffle ball the entire time, only to be shut down constantly by Matt and John, who just want to watch Animaniacs.
6 - Jorja will remain in Georgia.
5 - Stockton will chastise someone for saying the 'stu' word.
4 - Maysen will avoid eating the 'inside skin' of her apple.
3 - Ellie will just sit there the entire time with a blank look on her face.
2 - Link will throw a toy through a window.
1 - Mike S.will negotiate with the drive thru lady at the local Wendy's for one of the sweet prizes.
Um, that's all folks
Porky Pig
Ange and I were sitting in our room while Lincoln played somewhere else. Suddenly, we hear him start fiddling with the doorknob, and hear a satisfied grunt as the door opens, and he comes running in. Somehow, I don't think our lives will ever be the same.
We're getting excited for everyone to come down, and also excited to run the river, seeing as how we've had something like 40 days in a row with 100 or above temperatures. The following is a list of my predictions of what will happen. As usual, when my predection becomes true, I will shout 'prediction' for all to hear.
12 - John will somehow end up in a life threatning situation.
11 - Matt will get way lucky at some game... most likely Pillage and Plunder.
10 - Mike will finally choose a favorite baseball team and stick with it.
9 - Brett will make a hole in one on the 3rd hole at Uncle George's. (This is only a ploy to get him to come down, as he knows how accurate my predictions are.)
8 - Steph will get mad at someone for burping.
7 - The Bubs will try to play wiffle ball the entire time, only to be shut down constantly by Matt and John, who just want to watch Animaniacs.
6 - Jorja will remain in Georgia.
5 - Stockton will chastise someone for saying the 'stu' word.
4 - Maysen will avoid eating the 'inside skin' of her apple.
3 - Ellie will just sit there the entire time with a blank look on her face.
2 - Link will throw a toy through a window.
1 - Mike S.will negotiate with the drive thru lady at the local Wendy's for one of the sweet prizes.
Um, that's all folks
Porky Pig
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Escargo Anyone?
First off, I'd like to mention that the streak is alive and well. I thought I was going to have to reset my throwup streak, but the thought of doing that helped me tough it out. Now Ange is sick which means I haven't slept in 2 days, and explains this post at 3:30 in the morning.
Next, I have now tossed two people this year. I was thinking that I wasn't going to get to toss anyone this year, but in the last five days, the full moon has wrought strange behavior on softball players.
The first victim of the tossing was a guy who was sent home for arguing balls and strikes. In his defense, he was mad that he didn't swing at the most perfect pitch in history. His team had kind of worked me up with sneaky complaining all night about obvious calls, so when he complained, I took it out on him.
The second guy was sent home for dropping an F bomb. In his defense, he did hit a way crappy pop up. Plus, his whole team thought that if you drop a fly ball, it counts as an out as long as the fielder was diving. These rules can be hard to keep track of.
We can only hope I get more opportunities to toss people, because I have a pretty good tossing motion. It comes from years of practice in the shower. I start my hand at my hip, and swing it up toward my head while pointing just over the nearest fence. It's perfect.
I will keep track of all ejections at the bottom of this page. We can only hope the list grows.
We put sod in our backyard recently. John was the only person cool enough to help out, so thanks John. I'll bat you leadoff next game for your troubles. Now that there is grass in our yard, I've noticed this huge snail migration. They come from under my deck, and try to make it across the grass where there is a wooden fence. This seems to be the goal of the snails. I don't know if snails are bad for grass, but they are a little creepy, so the other night, I went out with a small garbage can, and plucked 58 of those snails off this small patch of grass that we have.
I was thinking it would be a good idea to sell them to some French people as expensive food, but there are no French people that live by us, which also explains why I haven't started a bottled water business, or a surrender your country at the first sign of an invasion business.
So I figured I made my point with the snails, because 58 of them were crawling around the garbage can, so I went out 20 minutes later only to find 6 more crawling around. Needless to say, I was not pleased, so I picked them up and threw them on to the road. I threw them as high as I could to see if I could break their shell. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not.
Then today, I found ten more out on the grass, so clearly, the message isn't being sent. They recieved the same treatment as the others, and I kind of feel bad that I made snails needlessly suffer, but in my defense, they are pretty annoying.
For those who don't know, we'll be blessing Ella, the date, time, and place will be on the Family Wiki here.
The End
F Bomb Nazi
Next, I have now tossed two people this year. I was thinking that I wasn't going to get to toss anyone this year, but in the last five days, the full moon has wrought strange behavior on softball players.
The first victim of the tossing was a guy who was sent home for arguing balls and strikes. In his defense, he was mad that he didn't swing at the most perfect pitch in history. His team had kind of worked me up with sneaky complaining all night about obvious calls, so when he complained, I took it out on him.
The second guy was sent home for dropping an F bomb. In his defense, he did hit a way crappy pop up. Plus, his whole team thought that if you drop a fly ball, it counts as an out as long as the fielder was diving. These rules can be hard to keep track of.
We can only hope I get more opportunities to toss people, because I have a pretty good tossing motion. It comes from years of practice in the shower. I start my hand at my hip, and swing it up toward my head while pointing just over the nearest fence. It's perfect.
I will keep track of all ejections at the bottom of this page. We can only hope the list grows.
We put sod in our backyard recently. John was the only person cool enough to help out, so thanks John. I'll bat you leadoff next game for your troubles. Now that there is grass in our yard, I've noticed this huge snail migration. They come from under my deck, and try to make it across the grass where there is a wooden fence. This seems to be the goal of the snails. I don't know if snails are bad for grass, but they are a little creepy, so the other night, I went out with a small garbage can, and plucked 58 of those snails off this small patch of grass that we have.
I was thinking it would be a good idea to sell them to some French people as expensive food, but there are no French people that live by us, which also explains why I haven't started a bottled water business, or a surrender your country at the first sign of an invasion business.
So I figured I made my point with the snails, because 58 of them were crawling around the garbage can, so I went out 20 minutes later only to find 6 more crawling around. Needless to say, I was not pleased, so I picked them up and threw them on to the road. I threw them as high as I could to see if I could break their shell. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not.
Then today, I found ten more out on the grass, so clearly, the message isn't being sent. They recieved the same treatment as the others, and I kind of feel bad that I made snails needlessly suffer, but in my defense, they are pretty annoying.
For those who don't know, we'll be blessing Ella, the date, time, and place will be on the Family Wiki here.
The End
F Bomb Nazi
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