The Glass Box

The other day, Lincoln went to bed super easy. So easy, that as I'm walking out of his room, I said to Ange, "We're going to pay for this later." As it turned out, it would be sooner rather than later. I heard Lincoln trying to open the door an hour and a half later, so I opened up and took a look inside. I saw the face of a mime...

Lincoln had somehow managed to unscrew a big ol' jar of cream, and smear it all over himself. If I'd of only had a glass box, he would have looked perfect in it.

Those who have kids know that only half of the cream actually made it on his body, the other half was smeared in the carpet, on the door, on his drawers and clothes and shoes etc...

Then, we spent until midnight or so cleaning up the mess

Also, I decided to post a gratuitous picture of Ellie...

She hasn't broken any bones, or made huge messes lately, in other words, nothing worthy of news.

Finally, I should report that I threw another guy out of a game. There was a play at third, and the throw was a little short, so the third baseman, moved toward the runner to field the ball, just as the runner slid. The result was a pretty sweet takeout slide by the runner. The ball went up the left field line, so the runner wanted to go to home, but was tangled up with the 3rd baseman. So he did what any other logical human being would do and started to kick the 3rd baseman. I called the ball dead and tossed the runner for fighting. Then he swore, which of course didn't change my mind. He didn't want to leave, so I had to tell him to go like five times, using my 'angry voice', which meant that teams from nieghboring fields came to take a look at the show.

I guess five times wasn't enough, because he decided to go back out and play left field. He said that he thought he wasn't really kicked out. I think the league decided that he was gone for the season after those antics.

That should be it.

Kronos

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

It has been an exciting last 24 hours and by exciting, I mean not the fun kind of exciting but rather the lose tons of sleep kind of exciting. Lincoln decided it would be a good idea to break his collar bone.

Storytime:

It is almost 6 pm yesterday, and I'm getting ready to go umpire some softball games. Lincoln, Angela, and I are horsing around a little before I go. Lincoln is standing on the couch, and reclines back to rest for a little, except there was no back to recline on. So he fell backwards onto the floor and bashed what I thought was the back of his head. We couldn't tell, because the couch got in the way of a perfect view of his landing.

I had to leave, but when I got home at 11, there were Lincoln and Ange, waiting for me. He had slept for a couple of hours, but woke up because his shoulder/neck area hurt him. It is never a good sign when I get home from umpiring, and Link is still up.

We tried putting Lincoln to bed, but he was screaming and saying 'ow' all the time. I told Ange that she could sleep, and I'd take care of him. I made him a bed on our couch, and we watched about 45 min. worth of videos by the time he finally went to sleep at 12:15. I thought this would be a good time to troll for food, but decided I didn't want to take the risk of waking him up, so I went to bed.

About 1:45, Lincoln wakes up, and I get him back to sleep at 2:15 using the above method, the only difference being that I thought I'd sleep on the couch instead of my bed, in case he woke up again.

He did, at around 3:30. Ange and I decided the couch just wasn't comfortable enough, mostly because I had a stiff neck after only sleeping on it for an hour. We tried to put him in his own bed, but he continued to scream at the top of his lungs. We didn't know if this was some twisted ploy to get out of sleeping, or if he was really in that much pain. At 4 am, Ange decided to take him to the hospital.

The doctors weren't sure what to make of the injury, because he was using his right arm, and turning his neck, but it would still hurt him. They decided to take an x-ray, although they thought it was highly unlikely that he had a break.




This is his x-ray, and for all those non-doctors out there, I have circled the break in red. Apparently, your collarbone doesn't randomly jut off at a 45 degree angle.

Anyway, everyone was surprised that it was broken, because there was no swelling, and Link had been using his arm. They wrapped his right arm up in a sling, which has made Lincoln happy, because it doesn't hurt so much, and has made me happy, because he's now forced to use his left hand for everything. If we can only get him to throw a 95 mph fastball with that left arm, we'll be set for life, and gas prices can rise as high as they want.

So Lincoln is exploring this new one handed way of life, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon, and stop falling down. If he doesn't, then we got some Lortab for him. He's supposed to have his arm in a sling for 2-3 weeks, hopefully, it will be off by the time we go to Idaho in early August.

In other news, I spent the last week in Atlanta. I got to visit with Steph and Mike Smith, and they showed me a pretty good time. I took Ella, so she could see her cousins, and she really enjoyed the trip, with the exception of throwing up fruit punch on me just as we're boarding our plane in Atlanta.

Far be it for me to complain about something, so I decided to make a pro and con list about the effects of humidity before I form an opinion.

Humidity pros

• The sun doesn't seem to beat down as hard because there's so much water in the air.
• You don't have to water the lawn.
• All sorts of things grow.
• The water in the air has a moderating effect on temperature.

Humidity cons

• All sorts of things grow.
• You are always sweating.
• 85 degrees is really hot.*
• You feel like you live in a warm, wet blanket.
• It makes you want to stay inside all day.
• There are a hundred times more creepy insects.
• Demon Crickets.
• The misters at Six Flags aren't as effective.

After analyzing the data, I'd say you must be clinically insane to want to live on the east coast. That is all

Bubs-Bad

*Maracaibo's average temperature was above 110, with humidity, so if anyone thinks I'm whining, then go to Maracaibo and live for two years. Otherwise, you can blow it out your ear.

Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less

Soon enough Matt is going to be home, and we are going to start a politics blog, so all three of you readers out there won't have to worry about my political rantings anymore, but until then...

About a month ago I signed the petition to the right, I was like the 300,000 or so signer. I would encourage all readers to sign it.

Democrats say that it is only a long term solution, so we shouldn't pursue it, then in the same breath talk about all thier long term solutions.

The fact of the matter is, it's a short term solution to help us have lower energy prices until the long term solutions come online, such as (gasp) nuclear power.

We need to start yesterday... I've already missed one trip to Idaho, and will miss one more in the middle of July because of gas prices. At least we get to come up once in early August.

That is all

Like an old man trying to return soup in a deli

It had to happen, well not really, but it did. Platypi finally lost. We are now 10-1, but in our defense, we only scored 9 runs. Very frustrating. The seventh inning illustrates how bad we were. I led off with a single. We couldn't even get to second base. Yikes. Is this softball or fastpitch?

Anyway, I ran across a few Muppet videos on You Tube. I'll probably post a carefully selected muppet video in my next few posts. The one for today I saw when I was 5 or 6 (maybe 7 or 8, I am bad at judging the age of early childhood memories). I know I wasn't older than 8, because we didn't have the addition in our house done, and I remember laying on a couch in our front room right where the piano would eventually go.

I was sick, and it hurt a lot to laugh. I saw this video, and it struck a nerve. I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to die:




I don't know why I still think that is so funny. Probably because I think way stupid things are funny. Ask Ange.

The End