No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

It has been an exciting last 24 hours and by exciting, I mean not the fun kind of exciting but rather the lose tons of sleep kind of exciting. Lincoln decided it would be a good idea to break his collar bone.

Storytime:

It is almost 6 pm yesterday, and I'm getting ready to go umpire some softball games. Lincoln, Angela, and I are horsing around a little before I go. Lincoln is standing on the couch, and reclines back to rest for a little, except there was no back to recline on. So he fell backwards onto the floor and bashed what I thought was the back of his head. We couldn't tell, because the couch got in the way of a perfect view of his landing.

I had to leave, but when I got home at 11, there were Lincoln and Ange, waiting for me. He had slept for a couple of hours, but woke up because his shoulder/neck area hurt him. It is never a good sign when I get home from umpiring, and Link is still up.

We tried putting Lincoln to bed, but he was screaming and saying 'ow' all the time. I told Ange that she could sleep, and I'd take care of him. I made him a bed on our couch, and we watched about 45 min. worth of videos by the time he finally went to sleep at 12:15. I thought this would be a good time to troll for food, but decided I didn't want to take the risk of waking him up, so I went to bed.

About 1:45, Lincoln wakes up, and I get him back to sleep at 2:15 using the above method, the only difference being that I thought I'd sleep on the couch instead of my bed, in case he woke up again.

He did, at around 3:30. Ange and I decided the couch just wasn't comfortable enough, mostly because I had a stiff neck after only sleeping on it for an hour. We tried to put him in his own bed, but he continued to scream at the top of his lungs. We didn't know if this was some twisted ploy to get out of sleeping, or if he was really in that much pain. At 4 am, Ange decided to take him to the hospital.

The doctors weren't sure what to make of the injury, because he was using his right arm, and turning his neck, but it would still hurt him. They decided to take an x-ray, although they thought it was highly unlikely that he had a break.




This is his x-ray, and for all those non-doctors out there, I have circled the break in red. Apparently, your collarbone doesn't randomly jut off at a 45 degree angle.

Anyway, everyone was surprised that it was broken, because there was no swelling, and Link had been using his arm. They wrapped his right arm up in a sling, which has made Lincoln happy, because it doesn't hurt so much, and has made me happy, because he's now forced to use his left hand for everything. If we can only get him to throw a 95 mph fastball with that left arm, we'll be set for life, and gas prices can rise as high as they want.

So Lincoln is exploring this new one handed way of life, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon, and stop falling down. If he doesn't, then we got some Lortab for him. He's supposed to have his arm in a sling for 2-3 weeks, hopefully, it will be off by the time we go to Idaho in early August.

In other news, I spent the last week in Atlanta. I got to visit with Steph and Mike Smith, and they showed me a pretty good time. I took Ella, so she could see her cousins, and she really enjoyed the trip, with the exception of throwing up fruit punch on me just as we're boarding our plane in Atlanta.

Far be it for me to complain about something, so I decided to make a pro and con list about the effects of humidity before I form an opinion.

Humidity pros

• The sun doesn't seem to beat down as hard because there's so much water in the air.
• You don't have to water the lawn.
• All sorts of things grow.
• The water in the air has a moderating effect on temperature.

Humidity cons

• All sorts of things grow.
• You are always sweating.
• 85 degrees is really hot.*
• You feel like you live in a warm, wet blanket.
• It makes you want to stay inside all day.
• There are a hundred times more creepy insects.
• Demon Crickets.
• The misters at Six Flags aren't as effective.

After analyzing the data, I'd say you must be clinically insane to want to live on the east coast. That is all

Bubs-Bad

*Maracaibo's average temperature was above 110, with humidity, so if anyone thinks I'm whining, then go to Maracaibo and live for two years. Otherwise, you can blow it out your ear.

Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less

Soon enough Matt is going to be home, and we are going to start a politics blog, so all three of you readers out there won't have to worry about my political rantings anymore, but until then...

About a month ago I signed the petition to the right, I was like the 300,000 or so signer. I would encourage all readers to sign it.

Democrats say that it is only a long term solution, so we shouldn't pursue it, then in the same breath talk about all thier long term solutions.

The fact of the matter is, it's a short term solution to help us have lower energy prices until the long term solutions come online, such as (gasp) nuclear power.

We need to start yesterday... I've already missed one trip to Idaho, and will miss one more in the middle of July because of gas prices. At least we get to come up once in early August.

That is all

Like an old man trying to return soup in a deli

It had to happen, well not really, but it did. Platypi finally lost. We are now 10-1, but in our defense, we only scored 9 runs. Very frustrating. The seventh inning illustrates how bad we were. I led off with a single. We couldn't even get to second base. Yikes. Is this softball or fastpitch?

Anyway, I ran across a few Muppet videos on You Tube. I'll probably post a carefully selected muppet video in my next few posts. The one for today I saw when I was 5 or 6 (maybe 7 or 8, I am bad at judging the age of early childhood memories). I know I wasn't older than 8, because we didn't have the addition in our house done, and I remember laying on a couch in our front room right where the piano would eventually go.

I was sick, and it hurt a lot to laugh. I saw this video, and it struck a nerve. I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to die:




I don't know why I still think that is so funny. Probably because I think way stupid things are funny. Ask Ange.

The End

101 Posts

Yes, I finally got to triple digit posts. I would have mentioned it in my last post, but I didn't realize I was going past the century mark. When I reach post number 525,600, I know a song I can use, not that I would ever consider watching the musical "Rent".

I need to do a list, but I can't think of any topics to do a list on, so hopefully next time.

I can talk about softball. Platypi is 10-0 right now, but our toughest remaining game is this Tuesday. We are playing the 9-1 Salt Lake Blues. We easily beat them last time, so they're going to be wanting some revenge.

In umpiring news, I had quite the night last Wednesday. I had my first multiple ejection night.

Everything was going well until late in the 3rd game. One of the batters swung way soft, and tried to hit the ball into the ground-- hoping for the ol' swinging bunt. That is against the rules in softball, so I called him out. He told me I didn't have to be so 'professional', which was confusing to me since I am getting paid, technically, I am a professional. I told him that we might as well follow the rules, at which point, he said 'You're the sh***" and then repeated it, so I tossed him for arguing with me.

I will admit that I was probably too hasty to throw him out, certainly Treebeard would agree, but I have low tolerance for swearing, especially if it's directed at me.

After the game, Dad shows up, and I tell him how he missed an ejection, he stayed and watched a couple of batters the next game, but left about three minutes too early.

The fifth or sixth batter in the lineup for the visiting team took exception to a strike I called on him. He said that the ball was high because it 'came in at my elbow'. I told him that was a pretty good definition of a strike he just gave me. He continued to argue about the pitch, and I said 'The ball is coming in a 2 miles per hour, so you might as well swing at it.' The next pitch came in over his head, but he decided to swing, intent on proving his point. This would be called putting yourself ahead of the team. Predictably, he popped it up, threw his bat way hard, and said the F word. I tossed him at that point. His main argument was that he has never said the F word his entire life. I told him that he chose a bad time to drop his first ever F-bomb.

I am less than halfway through the year, and I have already tossed the same amount as last year. I need to grow some thicker skin.

Blue Bubs

As I am writing this post, I feel a little sick, so you should all appreciate the effort. Part of the reason I feel sick is because it suddenly got hot, and I umpired 4 games in the middle of the day on Saturday. I don't know why everyone can't wait for it to be hot. As far as I'm concerned, perfect weather is in the 60's with enough rain to let you know it's there, but not enough to cancel baseball/softball games. It's what I like to call Platypi weather.

Speaking of Platypi, we played a doubleheader last Tuesday, which was also my anniversary. We beat the first team 24-3 and the second team 27-8, for a combined 51-11. Yes, we are not happy that we allowed double digit runs over two games, but in good news, we are now 8-0 with six left.

Umpiring this year has been pretty nice, mostly because I think the weather had broken people's spirits. I haden't tossed anyone the whole year, then I suddenly had to toss 2 people on consecutive games, right as the weather started to turn nice. Interesting.

The first guy that I tossed was probably the calmest ejection I've ever had. He popped up, and then threw the bat in disgust so hard that it hit his dugout fence four feet above the ground. After the play I said "Eleven", then he says "Sorry", but not to be detered by his sudden change of heart, I threw him out. As he's crossing in front of me to his dugout he says "My bad." Then the scorekeeper (Bill) had to tell him to leave the park, and he said "I understand." It kind of threw me for a loop, I felt like I was visiting some Bizarro softball field for a while. That was the last game of the night.

The first game of Saturday seemed to be going ok, except for I missed this way obvious call at third. The team argued tons, and as I was replaying it in my mind, I realized that there was no way the runner could have tagged up, but it was too late to change the call. Unlike NBA officials, I did not compound my mistake with an ejection. When the game ended, two teammates started fighting each other. I broke it up, but someone in the crowd yelled "Let them fight." Then one of the people fighting yelled at the fan, saying like 5 f words, so I had to eject him, which means he won't be able to play his next game.

I think after that, everyone was too hot and tired to argue, so there were no further incidents. This all means I'm going to have to update my toss o' meter at the bottom of the page.

Angel Hernandez

Thank You

I thought I had set my other post to post today, but it didn't work, here's the gyst...

64 years ago today, was D-day, the day allied forces sacrificed thousands of lives to storm the beaches at Normandy that eventually led to the end of Nazi occupation. On that day, President Franklin D. Roosevelt offered this prayer:




On this day, remember that faith in God and our country once united the nation, and can do it again.

Thanks to all those of "The Greatest Generation" who sacrificed at home or abroad, so we can enjoy the freedoms we enjoy today. Your bravery, faith, determination and selflessness will surely be missed.

Bubs

The Accident

I was reading a Deseret News article about cell phones in schools. Yes, cell phones are annoying, but I'm going to make sure my kids have one, if we can afford it. In the end, if you have a good kid, they won't be getting in routine trouble, regardless of the technology. As a teacher, I do wish that parents would be better at controlling thier teenager's use of cell phones. I have confiscated a few cell phones in my day.

They can also be helpful, I just don't want to end up like this guy, all over Youtube:



We have a softball game tonight at 9, hopefully, we keep it rollin'. Umpiring has been calm this year, meaning that I haven't kicked anyone out. Last Thursday was close. Runners on the corners, and a double play ball is hit to the 2nd baseman. He flips it to the shortstop covering second, who then tries to relay it on to first, only to be barged into by a non-sliding runner. So, the obvious call is a double play, with the runner starting the play at 3rd being called out since he is the most advanced runner.

The barger had a different idea, and was trying to explain to me at the top of his lungs that he's not out, because he didn't mean to run into the shortstop. My argument was that his team mate probably didn't mean to hit a crappy double play ball to 2nd, but he still had to suffer the consequences.

So, I decided to make a list of other things you have to suffer the consequences for, even if you didn't mean to:

16 - Choosing the wrong line at Wal-mart*.
15 - Attacking a fully functional Death Star.
14 - Rear-ending someone.
13 - Bombing a test.
13a - Bombing the Chinese Embassy.
12 - Stubbing your toe.
11 - Burning popcorn in the microwave.
10 - Voting for a Liberal.
9 - Eating Salmonilla.
8 - Misquoting a Seinfeld line around John.
7 - Going to BYUI instead of BYU regular so you have an excuse to not play on Platypi.
6 - Getting sucked into a Star Trek episode.
5 - Not immediately changing a poopy diaper.
4 - Being a white male.
3 - Watching a Drew Barrymore movie.
2 - Believing that "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit".
1 - Burping in front of Steph.

Yes, I paid the price for #1, to the tune of an aluminum bat to the shins, but that which does not kill you makes you stronger, so I continue to accidently burp in front of Steph.

Out

Elmo