Torturer Bubs

As it turns out, I like to torture people.

The best people to torture are those with no sense of humor, so the whole time they're way mad at you, and you're laughing, whilst trying to appear serious.

The best people to torture are 13-15 year olds, mostly because they don't have a sense of humor, and they give some pretty good reactions.

Examples of torture I have inflicted on 13-15 year olds:

• When asked if I just got a hair cut, I explain how I got a 'hairs' cut, because only a moron would go to the barber and pay to have one hair cut.
• Ask them a difficult question in order to go to the bathroom
• After return from the bathroom, exclaim that I didn't know it was 'take forever day' (credit to Matt)
• Choose a random girl, and tell her that I didn't know it was 'crazy hair day' today
• Repeatedly say 'Don't hate the player, hate the game.'
• 'Practice' walking in the hallway when kids are noisy
• After kid is irritated, say 'up high' and hold your hand in the air. When they don't give you five, lower hand and say 'down low' kid still glares, then suddenly yank hand away and say 'too slow'
• Tell those with noserings or liprings that they have food on thier face that they should wipe off
• When asked what we're doing today, say 'The same thing we do every other day... try to take over the world'

I bring this up because I found a new torture method.

When a kid asks a question, I just say 'I told you once', then try to get into an argument if I told them or not. This stems from a pretty funny Monty Python Skit I've heard several times, and have inserted below:

Seeing the frustration makes what I do well worth it, and isn't that what it's all about?

I am always open to more torture methods.

Cindy Lou who