It is a little known fact to all those who aren't part of the tight knit umpire community that the worst games to umpire are coed games. This is not because coed games are boring to watch, but because there is more whining and complaining in these games than most mens games. The theory goes than the men try to impress the women by constantly crying like a little baby. The logic may seemed flawed to most, but I think these men are thinking 'women like to take care of babies, so I'm going to act like a huge baby, then the woman will think I'm cool'. What they don't realize is that they are niether cute nor cuddly at the ripe old age of 45.
So I am umpiring this coed game yesterday. Here are some of my calls they disagreed with:
8- On a force play to second, the second baseman completely misses the ball. Entire team tells me it was on the transfer, and should be an out. 3rd baseman tries to explain to me what transfer is. I tell them that they need to have caught the ball first. 3rd baseman says he's not arguing, he's 'just trying to make me better'.
7- A hit down the line, right fielder dives for it, but the ball bounces, team gets mad at me because I didn't yell 'fair ball'. I tell them I'm not supposed to yell, they tell me I need to point, I tell them I did point, then they say 'how is the right fielder supposed to see that?'
6- Pitcher throws 3 straight balls about 6 feet deep. Then askes me if I'm calling the plate or the batter. I say 'you know what I'm calling, why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?'
5- Between innings, team chewed me out for getting a drink and 'delaying the game'. I get behind the plate, and notice they don't have a left fielder yet, the other team notices as well, and promptly hits a lazy fly ball to left field that nobody is there to catch. Team then gets mad at me for starting an inning without all thier players on the field.
4- Pitch hits the center of the plate, catcher claims it hit the 'black'
3- Pitcher asks me clean the plate, then the next pitch is inside, catcher claims that I covered the black on purpose whilst cleaning the plate.
2- Player looks at a perfect strike, and I ring her up, team claims that we are not playing fastpitch.
1- Batter takes off early to run down to first because of a percieved ball 3. The 'ball' was actually a strike, and I called it that way. He then claimed the call was 'horse (expletive deleted)'. Then he hits a double, but is still mad. After the game, he says again that the call was 'horse (expletive deleted)' at which point I observe that he has a limited vocabulary. As he continues to yell at me saying that my call was 'horse (expletive deleted)' I try to reason with him to no avail.
The above list does not include every single pitch that was not in thier favor.
Yes, I hate coed games
Player hater
6 comments:
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Matt - you are supposed to say playa... player is so last century. Of course, I should have signed my post with 'playa hata'. That's how the kids talk nowdays.
"Holla at a playa when you see him in the street." -Stuart Scott catchphrase.
The best part was when I read how you were going to list the complaints that there were only going to be 1 or 2 bad calls you made. Then I saw there were 8. Yes, that was my favorite part.
I saw Stuart Scott hosting AFV yesterday. Rachel didn't know who he was. I quickly explained, and told her she should listen. He did not disappoint. Dawg.
Plus Bubs, I've seen you use that old cover-up-the-black trick in wiffle ball.
Bubs, you should do a post titled, "Never updates the blog Bubs."
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