Saturday, June 03, 2006

Think in over Bubs

In the history of the world, there have been many poor decisions. Peter made one such decision the other day.

Everyone in the nieghborhood had been warned that the street was going to be repaved, and they would need to stay off for a certain amount of time.

Peter, upon seeing the road blocked, decided to drive past the baricades, via the neighbors grass, through the newly paved street, and into the driveway, blazing a tar trail for all to see.

Of course the cops figured out who the culprit was, and he is now in the hook for $2000, the cost of repaving the road.

Now that's a poor decision, but I don't want Peter to feel bad, so I'm going to list some decisions that were worse than Peter's to drive through fresh tar.

19 - Michael Jackson dangling his baby over a balconey
18 - Refs continually putting time on the clock until the Soviets finally beat the US Olympic Basketball team in Munich.
17 - Dan Rather running with made up stories about George Bush.
16 - Us moving to Tooele. Liked the house, the drive was a killer.
15 - Hitler turning on Russia.
14 - Pete Rose gambling on baseball, and so the only person to record 4,000 hits isn't in the hall of fame.
13 - Rebels attacking a fully functional Death Star in "Return of the Jedi".
12 - The White Sox throwing the 1919 World Series.
11 - Howard Dean's scream. I didn't know a single non fart noise could cost a guy so many votes.
10 - Jimmy Carter trying to spring hostages from Iran with a helicopter rescue.
9 - Tonya Harding hiring someone to club Nancy Kerrigan.
9a - Tonya Harding pleading with judges to let her redo her routine because her shoelace was untied.
9b - Judges going for it.
8 - Matt leaving opened can of rootbeer out all night.
8a - Matt drinking said rootbeer without checking for ants.
7 - Leaving Wild thing in to pitch to Joe Carter.
6 - Richie Phillips talking umpires in to handing in resignations. Quote from some league official "This is either a threat to be ignored, or an offer to be considered seriously."
5 - Marrying Lorena Bobbit.
4 - Yahoo turning down the chance to buy Google early on.
3 - Clinton turning down the chance to bag Osama/Usama Bin Laden before 9-11.
2 - Tony Larussa deciding to have Dennis Eckersly pitch to Kirk Gibson.
2a - All the Dodger fans that left early, you can see thier tailights in the background as the ball flies out of the yard.
1 - Nixon taping conversations in the Oval Office.

Who am I kidding, Peter should be number 1... sorry, I guess I couldn't help out.

In other news, school is out, and it's the Summer of the Bubs.

I'll probably spend it umpiring softball games. I should keep track of the number of times teams argue about an infield fly because it carried one foot onto the grass.

I'll set the over/under at 13.

But then I'd be gambling on softball, and never make the hall of fame.

Bubs "the blaster" Millburn.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Tonya Harding should be number two. what a sore loser.

Anonymous said...

Who else should have been pitching to Gibson if not Eckersley? This one seems out of place from the whole list, no offence. Not to mention that it's like #2.

Anonymous said...

They could have just issued him a free pass. Plus, due to the importance of the homerun, it had to be ahead of Joe Carter -- that much is clear.

Matt said...

I don't think it's completely accurate to say that me drinking rootbeer with ants in it was a bigger mistake than Hitler turning on Russia.

Anonymous said...

Walking him would have been super weird, he was barely not handicapped. Plus, he kept barely fouling pitches off to stay in there. Obviously in hindsight it would have been better to have walked him, but you could hardly blame them for that one is all I'm saying. That's like saying that the right fielder should have been sitting on the top of the fence to catch the home run instead of standing in his usual position.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah matt drinking the rootbeer! even better: matt spraying the ants that were on his tent and screaming and jumping like a woman! ahaha funniest thing ever! Sorry matt..

Anonymous said...

I was going to include in my origional post that some of the mistakes are obvious when looked back upon. I think the bigger mistake for me is all those fans leaving the game. I don't think thousands of fans were streaming out of the Sky Dome when Carter went deep.