Thursday, March 30, 2006

Wise Bubs

At 3 in the morning today, we hear Lincoln screaming. He has been sleeping through the night, se we ignored it for a while, but he was persistent. Ange asked me to make sure he was OK.

I got to his crib, and realized that he has added half a twist to his ‘push his head into a corner of the crib’ trick. So he’s lying on his stomach, which he hates, with his face plastered into the corner of the crib. It was pretty funny. I turned him over, and all was well.

Also, he had his first ‘log’ yesterday. It’s about time I can call him Lincoln Logs. Ange just calls him ‘Logs’ for short.

In other news, I had four students walk out to ‘protest’ the immigration bill the Senate was considering. Like they really wanted to protest, they just wanted to get out of class. I told them they should stage a protest for their real problem… the fact that they have to be in class. Now that’s a protest.

I figure you could use some uplifting sayings, with a few comments from the bubs, so here it is.

Proverbs:

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - True, a garden can be carried in the pocket.
A closed mouth catches no flies. - So why would we want to eat flies?
A dimple on the chin, the devil within. - Sounds like this one is talking about me and Lincoln
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. - Self explanatory
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Oh boy
A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. - I know plenty of scoundrels who own dogs or cats.
A hungry man is an angry man. - This applies to women too.
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. - So if you think your baby’s cute, you’re a monkey?
A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole. - Maybe bragging about how fat they are?
A teacher is better than two books. - That’s some high praise for a teacher
A thief believes everybody steals. - And so does the bubs, who worked at the prison.
A tree falls the way it leans. - Sounds like another Michael Moore conspiracy
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
A woman has the form of an angel, the heart of a serpent, and the mind of an ass. - I didn’t write it… I just put it up for your enjoyment… I’m not here to make judgments
After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers. - Those Greeks like to steal fingers.
An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea. - Stupid English, and they think we’re dumb for electing W.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. - I think this one’s in the Bible… not sure where… probably in Proverbs.

Confucius

PS. My no vomit streak is back up to 19 days

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

So a teacher is better than two pocket gardens? Hard to believe.

Matt said...

I'd just like to point out that most books I have read are better than most teachers I have had. You can enjoy a book without a teacher but what is the use of a teacher without a book

Anonymous said...

Clearly, Matt never had me for a teacher.

Anonymous said...

Matt had Mrs. Allen in the 4th grade who made him do homework every two seconds of his childhood. I wouldn't like teachers either if I were him.

Matt said...

I'm not trying to say that I don't like teachers. It's just that I like books more than teachers. Mrs. Allen wasn't too bad except for this one time when she gave us this unreasonable assignment that it took me all day after school to do. I worked on it right when I got home from school until I went to bed. The next day me and one other person were the only one's who did the assignment. Mrs. Allen realized that her assignment was unreasonable so she made it extra credit. This made me angry because if it was extra credit I wouldn't have done it as I usually have a policy against doing extra credit work unless it is very easy, convenient, something I want to do anyways, or necessary to boost my grade. Plus, I once had a dream of her screaming and fire came out of her mouth. Other then that she wasn't that bad. Actually, I don't remember much else about her except that she got mad easily.

Anonymous said...

I must say that I would rather have a teacher than just a book, because the book is a text book which is not super easy to understand by yourself. There, I said it.