Supporting Bubs

I had just finished and published this post when the power went out. I lost everything, so I'll try again.

First for a recap of the last 12 days or so.

The Bubs gets the chills

The Bubs has the flu

The Bubs throws up

The Bubs goes to the doctor, the doctor says the Bubs has Laryngitis

The Bubs continues to be miserable, and goes to an instacare since it is Sunday

The doc lady at the instacare gives the Bubs a clean bill of health, and some anti-nausea medication which causes the Bubs to throw up in a Walgreen's parking lot

The Bubs goes to his doctor, doctor says the Bubs has pneumonia, and that the Bubs should be on a clear liquid diet

The Bubs ignors doctors advice and decides to have a Chalupa Supreme

The Bubs gets a first hand look at what liquid Chalupa mixed with acid looks like.

The Bubs begrudgingly eats only Jell-O for the next day.

The list I decided on for today is a list of best supporting characters in TV shows I could remember, I know I'll forget some, but I'm counting on you to fill in the overlookees.

14-Fozzie - The Muppet Show
13-Ralphie - The Simpsons
12-Norm - Cheers
11-Fonzie - Happy Days
10-The Soup Nazi - Seinfeld
9-KITT - Night Rider
8-Boner - Growing Pains
7-Erkel - Don't know the name of the show
6-Gibler - Full House
5-Frank Costanza - Seinfeld
4-Chloe - 24
3-Jimmy James - News Radio
2-GOB - Arrested Development
1-Roscoe - The Dukes of Hazzard

I'd say that's good enough to get things going. All you spellcheck nazi's out there, I'm sure there's mistakes. Don't try to impress your friends by pointing out all the typos. Seriously, that's annoying. It's not like anybody is wondering what I'm trying to say, and that is the point of language after all.

That'll do Pig

Frustrated Bubs

I am still sick… this is getting frustrating, because I’ve been sick now for more that a week. I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said the only thing I can do is wait it out. So I’m thinking: ‘what good are you?’

In other news, I’ve lost my voice, and he says that I shouldn’t use it for 5 days. Not sure how that’s going to go over at work.

I’ve decided to make a list of reasons why it’s nice to be sick.

Breakfast in bed
Nobody cares if you burp or fart
You can do other gross things like John’s famous ‘pan ‘o snot’
Watch non-stop TV
Don’t have to get up and do anything
You can sleep forever


That’s about all I can think of right now.

Can’t wait until this illness is a distant memory… I haven’t been able to play with my boy for a long time.

Sponge Bubs

Crabby bubs

I have good news and bad news... the bad news is that I'm still sick. The good news is I didn't throwup today. Then I decided since I was able to not throwup, that was a sign that I should go to work. I lost my voice halfway through the school day. Not good. Week number 1,754 is shaping up to be a pretty crappy one for the bubs.

In fact, this week's been so bad that there is no list today.

In other news, I need to try to figure out where to take about 100 Junior High kids on a field trip that would be fun and educational. Any ideas? Remember, they can't go to Germany to challenge Matt at raquetball.

That's all for now.

Fidel Quackenbush

Sick Bubs

This post isn’t for the faint of heart, or the weak of stomach… You’ve had your warning… I don’t want to hear any complaining.

I had a fun morning, I tossed and turned in my bed for 3 hours before I decided to throwup. Great relief was had upon throwing up, but then I had to hurry off to school to get stuff ready for my sub.

I hate throwing up, because it has to be a conscious decision for me to throwup. I have to decide to ‘let go’, and let ‘er rip. I wrestled with that decision, until I decided I’d take care of a few errands, then go throw up.

Then it comes down to the actual moment when I am kneeling in front of the toilet. I feel like one of those religious martyrs, except instead of paying the price with blood, I pay it with leftover chunks of food my stomach was unable to digest.

So I’ve decided to make a list of reasons why I hate throwing up:

10 - It makes my eyes water
9 - I hate that sour acid taste
8 - I hate the smell of the toilet before I get it on. (Yes, I do flush beforehand)
7 - Usually comes after 3 hours of deliberation
6 - My knees usually start to hurt
5 - I think how I’ve wasted food
4 - I am immediately hungry, but don’t want to eat any food.
3 - I don’t like the look of liquid food mixed with hydrochloric acid
2 - It hurts my stomach
1 - Dry heaves by far the worst, it’s like doing a lot of work, and seeing no results, knowing in seconds you’re going to do it all over again.

I thought it was time you guys know my true feelings on the matter.

I would rather mop cement, then throwup.

Roscoe P. Coltrane

Conspiracy Bubs

So I’m over at Ange’s mom’s house, and I get up to use the bathroom. As I’m walking to the bathroom, I’m thinking how it seems like I have those one chills you get when you’re sick.

Then I get back and find the nearest blanket to get under. Before I know it, I’ve got a fever. Ange got me home, and I spent a miserable night last night. My temperature got up to 102. I feel fine as long as a take Tylenol and Ibuprofen every 4 hours.

So I was amused last week how some people thought the Dick Cheany shooting was to cover up the fact that Cheany had earlier shot the guy in the heart. Oh boy.

So for today’s list….

Top crazy conspiracy theories

It should be pointed out that I don’t believe any of these theories… except maybe #10, because my US History teacher Mr. Ward told me so…

10 - FDR and the US knew about Pearl Harbor before it happened

9 - Apollo 11 Moon Landings were faked by NASA

8 - Barcodes are really intended to Control people

7 - The Truth is out there, on Area 51

6 - Microsoft sends messages on Wingdings Font – If you type in NYC in Wingdings font, it gives a skull and crossbones, the star of David, and a thumbs up sign. Interpreted by some people to mean that Microsoft approves of killing Jews.

5 - U.S. military caused the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami

4 - This one is more of a coincidence…

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners.

Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are comprised of fifteen letters

Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

3 - Supreme Court Justices were murdered, so the administration could appoint judges that would let friends destroy Louisiana wetlands. (Wait, that’s the plot of The Pelican Brief)

2 - The Challenger explosion. The theory is that they let the teacher go into space, and during her training she learned that the government was doing stuff through NASA that they shouldn't have been doing, and to make sure that she'd stay quiet, they blow up her shuttle.

1 - September 11 was orchestrated by the U. S. government – There are people that actually believe this one, including some BYU physics professor. They point to all sorts of ‘proof’ from a weird way of folding a 20, to the way the buildings fell. Wierdos

Here is a good site for Seinfeld quotes for those interested: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/

Also, I would like to mention that I have officially put Hershey’s chocolate syrup on my ‘dead to me’ list, and I’ve put Olympics coverage ‘on notice’. Seriously, I’m watching cross country skiing right now.

The Villain

Nose Dropper Bubs

Free day today… all those hours at Parent Teacher Conference are starting to pay off. Lincoln is feeling much better. He is starting to notice things and reach for them. Here are a few things he’s interested in…

The Vacuum Cleaner
The Mirror
His Boppy
Carebears
The nightlight
His fingers
Daddy's face (Especially eyes)

But the thing he is always looking for is this bottle of Neo Synephrine that has a nose dropper used to clear up a stuffy nose. He knocks it over, and then laughs.

For today’s entry, I thought I’d list some funny lines from Seinfeld. By all means, the list is not complete, and they are in no particular order…

Funny Seinfeld lines

George: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past 20 years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduce them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

George: My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents

George: It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist.

Karmer: Yeah, that would be nice. But I really just need this card.

Jerry: How could they not fire you?
George: I never thought I'd fail at failing.
Jerry: Aw, come on there, now.
George: I feel like I can't do anything wrong.

Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?
Frank: What the [heck] did you trade Jay Buhner for?! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the [heck] you're doin'!

Jerry: That is one magic Lugi

George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. It's not complicated.

DMV lady: According to the state of New York, sir, you are the [Ace]man.

Bookie: Susie didn’t commit suicide! She was murdered… by Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry: Newman, you wouldn’t eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce

Elaine: What, did they make it longer? (English Patient)

Jerry: You find the need to use alot of profanity in the dentist's office?
Kramer: When the pull out that needle, I let the explatives fly!

George: These pretzels are making me thirsty!

George: You can do a LOT worse than Mr. Peanut!

George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.

George: Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?"
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.

Jerry: Why don't you put it in the car so I don't accidentally toss it in that dumpster.

George: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

Elaine: Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!

Looks like that will do it for another blog entry. Lincoln is crying, so I’m going to try to find that nose dropper.

The Drake

Bugged Bubs

Welcome to today’s entry in my blog. Lincoln still has a little RSV going on, but I think he’s getting better… It’s been a week, so I figure it’s time.

Today is Valentine’s day of course, and the geniuses that run our school district decided it would be a good day for parent teacher conferences. I would agree, if I didn’t want to see any parents at all. Apparently, they are all out trying to build their marriage, while teachers sit at tables, bored to tears. Nobody yelled at me today, so that’s a plus.

Today, I am going to list off some pet peeves, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but I thought I’d get one started, to be added to later.

And for any of you who forgot, Mike’s pet peeve is the Pehrson’s dog…

Pet Peeves of the Bubs

12 - Emails that try to guilt trip you into forwarding them on (Forward this to 10 people or you’ll die today)
11 – When it’s warm during the day, but cold in the morning, thus causing me to drive halfway to work before I notice that I have the air conditioner on.
10 - Cleaning up ketchup
9 - Students turning in tons of work at the end of the quarter
8 - People with no sense of humor
7 - Rated R movies are the only ones to get nominated for the Oscars
6 - Gangsters
5 - Students with cell phones
4 - KFC always sounds good, then makes me sick
3 - Portraits cost an arm and a leg, when it only cost pennies to develop pictures
2 - Parents who think their students are little angels
1 - Everybody thinks desperate housewives is cool, but I guarantee it’s just lame, even though I haven’t seen it once, but the media seems like they have the ability to make any TV show popular, no matter how dumb.

This is one of those lists I’m going to have to add on to… Another one of my pet peeves, is not being able to remember pet peeves whilst making a pet peeve list.

That will be all for now,

Mr. Magoo

Angry Bubs

Just in case you had to see it to believe it...

There are athletes whose ACL's healed faster than this guy's hammy... I just can't remember who they are.

Here's some advice Carlos... If you don't want to be on the Jazz, the best way out is to be on the court contributing.

80 straight games without playing. I wonder what my boss would do if I missed 80 days in a row. My guess is that I'd be gone the first day I missed work.

Hope I never strain my hammy, I don't think I could handle the long road to recovery.

Mr. Furious

Nieghborhood Bubs

Lincoln still has RSV, but it seems to be getting better.

That goundhog post turned out to be pure genius. I also seem to have the ability to ignite a firestorm of contraversy on Christen's blog.

Rachel is going to get her blog linked to this one, so you can go there and see a picture of Brett, Rachel, and Charles.

For today's list, I have decided to list Nieghborhood charaters, and what they were known for/ something funny they did. This list is in no particular order, and no, I'm not going to list that I always said that something was so cheep.

Famous Nieghborhood Charaters

Milner - Calling people a 'ned'

Jason - Calling him Rexbo, and he's say that Rex means king

David - Laughed like Seseme Street's Ernie

Randy - Too cool for school

Matt - Showtime habits, like when he'd shake his head all the time like Chester the Cheetah

Mark M - Animaniacs

Mark P - Killing lawn, then blaming it on us

Bart - Destroyer of goods

Alan - Banked a free throw off our roof, and in... on accident

Brett - Speedy Gonzalez

Danny - Challenging the lower half of the nieghborhood to a friendly game of baseball

Brent P - Saying upper half of nieghborhood was going to kick our a** in said game, thus rendering it unfriendly.

Bubs - All time QB/Rusher

Bryce - Changing the subject

Mike - Disclosing Dustin's most embarasing moment in the ward newsletter

Steven - Ongoing battle with Mosquitoes

John M - Always almost dying

Brian - After every shot he takes in basketball shouting 'NO!'

There it is

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep.

Fozzie Bear

Goundhog Bubs

It turns out Lincoln has RSV -- a mild case, but still a little scary. I guess a lot of infants get that this time of year. The one good thing is I get to stay home and watch him. Not that I don't enjoy my job.

As for the groundhog, here are a few inconsistencies/things that bother me about the whole deal.

First February second is dumb because there aren't as many cool people that have worn the number 22, as there are that have worn 21 or 23. For example. David Benoit wore 21, and Michael Jordan wore 23 and so on...

(I know it makes a joke less funny if you explain it, but I thought it was funny how I just compared David Beniot to Michael Jordan. If Beniot got the same calls, would he have been as good?)

Second I don't think weather patterns are affected by if little animals are awake or not. I'll have to consult my one weather book on that one.

Third In order for the little rat to see his shadow, the sun has to be out. If the sun is out, it is probably a nice day. it would seem more logical to me that the sun being out would be associated with no more winter, not the other way around.

Fourth The animal is only right 50% of the time. We should just have Feb. 2nd be 'Flip a coin to see if winter ends day' (And yes, they do keep stats, although I'm not sure what is considered an 'early spring')

Finally, no groundhog could live for hundreds of years, clearly this isn't the real groundhog.

Now I will mention the things good about Feb 2nd

1 They made a sweet movie about it.

That's it

Now for a way funny line from said movie. Bill Murray is doing the weather, and he says: "And in the northwest there are going to be some very tall trees."

Then the second in command weatherman worships him for that line.

Plus then he calls the anchor lady 'hairdo'.

I should make a list of best lines from Groundhog day, but at present, I don't own a copy of the movie.

OJ Simpson

Plus, another good one is how Chris Elliot keeps calling Bill Murray a 'Prima donna'

Brett and Bubs -- Second attempt

So I was able to remember 14 of the 15, so I added a new one which now occupies the number 15 spot. Hopefully 'Blogger' will not decide to delete this post. Plus, Brett's list for 16-20 can be found under comments for 'PO'd Bubs'

Things about Brett

15 - Eating tons of homemade corn dogs because they are so delicious, and then throwing them up. Never touching a corn dog again.

14 - The Posse

13 - Telling the Bubs he and his friends will play baseball when they are done playing Heman, then proceeding to play Heman the rest of the day.

12 - Tons of in the park homers at Bicentennial, he must hold the record.

11 - Mom didn't want him to be left-handed, so she kept changing scissors, crayons etc. to his right hand from his left hand.

10 - Hitting the wiffle ball in that apple tree tons, and then having power hits be outs because we caught it as it trickled down

9 - Getting cut from little league, then one of the coaches comes to me and tells me how he knows Brett is one of the best players, but he didn't do well at tryouts, and I'm thinking the coach is an idiot, because he values one day in early March more than years of observation.

9a - The same year, Tona Niebuhr trying to tell Brett how he could improve playing shortstop by turning a certain way before throwing the ball.

8 - Skipping out on kindergarten, and playing on the Perhson's dirt hill. (Wait, that's on my list of wierdest things the Bubs has done.)

7 - He can make this running hookshot/layup that everyone thinks is way lucky until he does it 5 times in a row.

6 - Running around forever on 2 on 2 football with Casey and Vig, until the Bubs decides he is wide enough open to pass too

5 - Getting his 2nd tech in a basketball game because he made this huge sarcastic cheer after the ref made yet another bad call.

4 - Being the voice of superdog

3 - We pulled an all time prank on Steph, but the problem was, one of the traps we set in the bathroom was to have an open shampoo bottle balanced on top of the door, so it would fall on her when she opened it. Since the door opens inward, Brett bravely volunteered to stay in the bathroom, set up the trap and wait until Steph got in. She opens the door, almost gets hit by the bottle, Brett comes running out -- sadly for him, I got most of the credit from Steph.

2 - He threw a rock through this sports car's window across the street. He said he wanted to see how far he could throw said rock.

1 - Would cheat playing uno against mom by looking at the reflection of her cards in her glasses.

Not in the same order, but what are you going to do?

I need to write these suckers down somewhere, in other news, Lincoln is sick, and won't sleep, and has this wierd cough. Hopefully we'll get him to the doctor today.

That's all for now.

O'Brian

PS Am I the only one who thinks Seattle got the raw end of the officiating last night -- I mean that TD got taken away by a push off that happens in every game, and then that other play that got them to the one got taken away by a phantom holding call. That cost Seattle 11 points. Think how cool the game would have been had they not taken that away.

PO'd Bubs

So I had this sweet post up about Brett, and then it got spontaneously deleted. I guess John was the only one to see it -- I'll try to recreate the greatness, but not guarantees.

Oscar the Grouch

Political Bubs 2

This is only my 13th posting, and I've already duplicated a title. Not too creative.

The State of the Union address got me thinking about how funny liberals are. Did anyone else notice how all the democrates sat on their hands the entire time, and only cheered when Bush mentioned how they defeated his Social Security deal?

Then they have the nerve to say in their response how they are the party trying to work with the evil Republicans who refuse to be bipartisan.

Unbelieveable

It kills me how they think they are so much 'smarter' and 'enlightened' than the rest of us redecks. Try pushing a non liberal agenda on most campuses in America. Logic is something liberals either don't understand or refuse to acknowledge.

As Winston Churchill once said (I think): If you are young, and not liberal, you don't have a heart... If you are old and liberal, you don't have a brain.

I don't get mad at these guys, they're just funny so for my list today....

Top funny things liberals have said

10 - "When you look at beliefs in such things as, do you go to heaven, is there a devil, we have more in common with Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened than us.""When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion."
Bill Maher

9 - In 2000 the Supreme Court decided who would be president for the next four years.

8 - "There's an old saying, in the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation and were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of living in the house if you served the master exactly the way the master intended to have you serve him. "Colin Powell's committed to come into the house of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than what the master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture."
Harry Belafonte

7 - "the passengers were scaredy-cats because they were mostly white. If the passengers had included black men, he claimed, those killers, with their puny bodies and unimpressive small knives, would have been crushed by the dudes."

Michael Moore on the 9-11 attacks

6 - "Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas."
Janeane Garofalo

5 - "This is a racist and imperialist war. The warmongers who stole the White House (you call them 'hawks', but I would never disparage such a fine bird) have hijacked a nation's grief and turned it into a perpetual war on any non-white country they choose to describe as terrorist."
Woody Harrelson

4 - "I was old enough to vote the last time, (but) I didn't. I am going to vote because anybody is better than George W. Bush.
"It's scary what we're doing to the environment, and I'm scared that maybe (the war on Iraq) is going to get a lot worse before it gets better."
Kirsten Dunst

3 - "You know it's ironic that we're fighting for democracy in Iraq because we ultimately aren't celebrating democracy here. "Because anybody who has anything to say against the war or against the president or whatever -- is punished, and that's not democracy -- it's people being intolerant."
Madonna

2 - "I don't agree, you see, I don't really view communism as a bad thing."
Whoopi Goldberg

1 - “They are possibly the dumbest people on the planet ... in thrall to conniving, thieving, smug pricks,” he replied. “We Americans suffer from an enforced ignorance. We don’t know about anything that’s happening outside our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing.”

Michael Moore on Americans

As I said, liberals think everyone else is stupid -- but in that snooty way. I'm glad the extreme right doesn't have the same access to the media as the extreme left... They're killing themselves. Of course if you're libreal, most of those statements above aren't funny to you, they're how you think... scary.

OK, I'm done ripping on you lefties for now.

If anyone wants to see the place I got most of these comments, here's the link: http://www.celiberal.com/index.php

That's all for now, I'm fully expecting a comment or two from Matt

Conan the Bubsarian