Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Sick Bubs

This post isn’t for the faint of heart, or the weak of stomach… You’ve had your warning… I don’t want to hear any complaining.

I had a fun morning, I tossed and turned in my bed for 3 hours before I decided to throwup. Great relief was had upon throwing up, but then I had to hurry off to school to get stuff ready for my sub.

I hate throwing up, because it has to be a conscious decision for me to throwup. I have to decide to ‘let go’, and let ‘er rip. I wrestled with that decision, until I decided I’d take care of a few errands, then go throw up.

Then it comes down to the actual moment when I am kneeling in front of the toilet. I feel like one of those religious martyrs, except instead of paying the price with blood, I pay it with leftover chunks of food my stomach was unable to digest.

So I’ve decided to make a list of reasons why I hate throwing up:

10 - It makes my eyes water
9 - I hate that sour acid taste
8 - I hate the smell of the toilet before I get it on. (Yes, I do flush beforehand)
7 - Usually comes after 3 hours of deliberation
6 - My knees usually start to hurt
5 - I think how I’ve wasted food
4 - I am immediately hungry, but don’t want to eat any food.
3 - I don’t like the look of liquid food mixed with hydrochloric acid
2 - It hurts my stomach
1 - Dry heaves by far the worst, it’s like doing a lot of work, and seeing no results, knowing in seconds you’re going to do it all over again.

I thought it was time you guys know my true feelings on the matter.

I would rather mop cement, then throwup.

Roscoe P. Coltrane

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um, why the pink font?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was a good representation of my vomit.

Anonymous said...

I am in complete agreement with the dry heaves being the worst. I must say, however, that flushing the already flushed toilet is among the least of my concerns when I go to puke. That's a funny word.

Anonymous said...

I don't flush an already clean toilet, I was just clarifying that I don't stick my face next to fecal matter while I'm trying to throwup. That's a little too hard core for me.

Anonymous said...

Why would you be throwing up in a toilet with poo in it? Do you flush after the poo, or do you let the poo set and flush before the next usage of the toilet?

Anonymous said...

Just in the rare case that you go straight from pooing to throwuping

Anonymous said...

For such a rare case it seems odd that it deserved the 8 spot. I recommend that it be dropped to the ten spot immediately.